rugbytackle | Like Fire

Title: Like Fire
Author: Vero (bookofdays)
Archive: rugbytackle & Not a word
Rating: G
Pairing: Viggo/Bean
Summary: Sean and Viggo's relationship hits a bump.
Disclaimer: Nothing is true. At all. Wouldn't it be cool if it were though?
Feedback: I sure would love that.
Author Notes: This is the first decent Viggo/Bean I've been able to write since April. I do hope it means the inspiration and motivation is back in full force.

Two men sitting awkwardly in a complete silence. One avoiding the other’s eyes. One not blinking as his gaze was fixed on the one who had managed to capture his attention months ago.

The darkness of the night was surrounding them, a campfire preventing them from being completely in the dark. Shadows were playing on their faces. Had it been a different situation, it would have been the perfect time for a romantic dinner.

“Why, Sean?”

Sean shrugged; his eyes finally fixed on a rock next to the fire. “I don’t know, Viggo. It just happened.”

“Did it?” Viggo asked, not expecting an answer. “At least have the decency to look at me! I think I deserve that much.” Viggo said angrily. His breathing was much louder than he wanted it to be. His heart was hurting more than he wanted to admit.

Sean looked up at him, his eyes filled with tears he wouldn’t let fall. He stared at Viggo, trying to talk without saying a word. He couldn’t explain to him. He couldn’t even explain it to himself. It had happened for no other reason that he had been there and Viggo hadn’t. He hadn’t been drunk or particularly lonely. He had been horny. And had cheated because of that.

He took a deep breath, dreading the answer to his question. “What do we do now?”

Viggo stayed silent for a long time. Breaking his stare on Sean, he looked at the cup of water in his hand and then at the fire. It had been a wonderful evening until Sean had let it slip. Viggo closed his eyes, trying to remain calm.

“Fire burns a forest with a passion that seems indestructible. It goes on, not caring what the rest of the world thinks. It’s deep. It’s consuming everything. When we throw water at it, when we try to stop it, it wavers. It gets weaker until you can’t see the flames anymore. But the fire is still there, in the ground. It’s waiting. Hoping it will get this one chance to come back in full force, to continue its journey.” Viggo looked up, his eyes showing an emotion Sean couldn’t quite define. “The question is this. What’s gonna happen to this fire lurking underneath? Will you let it die?”

Without another word, Viggo stood up. Slowly, he poured the water over the small fire, the flames flicking weakly, almost disappearing. Viggo turned around and walked away leaving Sean behind with an almost non-existent fire.

*-*-*-

They didn’t talk for days. They often were at the same place at the same time but no words were exchanged. Sean would stare at Viggo with a helpless pained look. Viggo noticed the stares but didn’t mention it. It was still too fresh. Too painful.

*-*-*-

“So much for a meaningless relationship.” Viggo thought one night when he was alone in his temporary home. He grabbed a few paintbrushes and walked outside where different pints of paint were waiting for him.

“I’m not looking for a long relationship. They never last.”

He gave his brush an angry flick as his own words came back to haunt him.

“We’re both adults. We can handle this. No strings attached.”

The red on his canvas seemed to travel into his mind, screaming at him.

Sweaty bodies moving together. Whispered words. Sean’s words. “I love you.”

Viggo threw the brush away and fell down on his knees on the grass. A sob was near. He could feel it. But he wouldn’t let it come out.

“Viggo?”

Viggo stood up and turned around, startled by the voice that had disturbed his moment. “Sean.” He croaked out. “What are you doing here?”

Sean looked slightly uncomfortable standing there, his hair a mess and his eyes tired. He took a step forward. Hesitant at first, he held out a small box Viggo hadn’t noticed at first.

Viggo took it, immediately aware that it was a match’s box. He opened it to find a single match inside. He looked up at Sean, his head titled and waiting for an explanation.

“I’m asking for a second chance. The fire inside of me is still going strong. No matter what my actions were, it never faded. It’s still very much alive. I’m afraid I destroyed the one you had in you. If it’s impossible to revive it, to make it strong again, I’m offering this, hoping that we can start a second fire.” Sean blinked but didn’t look away. “If you want to.” He added quietly.

Viggo’s eyes went back to the box in his hand and looked at it thoughtfully for a few minutes. He looked up at Sean, a small smile on his lips. He threw the box away. Sean’s heart dropped until Viggo said, “You won’t need it.”

He grabbed Sean’s shoulder and pulled him in a tight hug. “If you do this again, I will hurt you. It’s a promise.” He whispered in Sean’s ear.

Sean nodded and pulled back. He kissed Viggo gently. “It was a stupid mistake. I’ve learned from it.”

“Good. Want to go inside?” Viggo asked. Sean smiled and both of them walked inside, the single match forgotten.