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rugbytackleTITLE: The Orange Grove (27/32): Promise
AUTHOR: Cinzia and Gloria
Full headers here
It was almost too hot to be this close, but Sean didn't complain when Viggo unfolded himself along the edge of the couch, balanced precariously against Sean. Behind him, on the mosaic-patterned coffee table, were two cans of beer. Sean reached across Viggo for one and took a long draught. Viggo let his head loll back on Sean's shoulder and watched him swallow, fascinated by the way the muscles in Sean's throat moved. He was past being aroused by the sight. Just being around Sean was enough to keep desire continually simmering in his veins.
"Sit up a bit, huh?"
Viggo tilted himself so that he could lean on the arm of the couch, and took a swig of Sean's beer. The radio in the kitchen was playing Euro-pop, too low to be more than background noise. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the moment. Sean's bare skin was hot against him from shoulder to elbow; his leg was hooked over Viggo's. They were both sweating, and Sean's calm breath against his damp neck felt cool. The windows were wide open, but there was no breeze. Out in the bay, a yacht motored slowly towards the point. The light was peculiar, dull and silvery, seeming to come from the air itself rather than from the invisible sun above the heavy, low cloud. It was too dark to read, here in the villa, but neither of them had switched on a light.
Very suddenly, without drawing breath before he spoke, Sean said, "I got fucked once."
Viggo tensed himself against the jolt of reaction that almost tipped him off the couch. He wanted to touch Sean, wanted to lean closer to hear every detail; but Sean's voice was not quite calm any more, and Viggo could feel the tension in his body, as if he were getting ready to run. He kept quiet and waited for Sean to say what he wanted to say.
"'S a while ago now. Back when I was still married to Melanie," Sean went on after a moment. He sounded as though he was revisiting a memory that he hadn't brought to mind for years. "Weren't the first time I'd felt like it, but the first time the opportunity arose." He chuckled. "This bloke from back at RADA. Hadn't seen 'im for years, and he turns up out of the blue, do I fancy a pint, great to catch up with each other. All that. He was touring with some two-bit company, just happened to think of me when he was in Sheffield, and lucky for him I was back visiting Mum that week."
He paused to drain the rest of the beer. Viggo wanted to see his face, but it might be easier for Sean to tell his story with nobody looking.
Sean put down the beer can, but he didn't continue the anecdote. The silence grew heavier.
"What happened?" Viggo said softly at last. "Lucky for him?"
Sean shrugged, his shoulder pushing against Viggo's head. "Had a few beers. Back to his hotel for a nightcap -- nah, we both knew what we were up for. It'd been a while, with me and Mel; she was pretty sick when she was having Lorna, and she weren't in the mood. And -- well, I didn't fancy 'im much, but he weren't bad-looking." Another shrug. "Like I said, it weren't the first time I'd thought about it. Wondered. You know."
Viggo did know. He made an affirmative noise.
"He gave me what I wanted, what I thought I wanted. But, y'know, I kind of knew it wouldn't be any good. Knew I wouldn't like it much. After all, if I'd liked it, I'd've been ..."
Sean stopped. He was staring past Viggo, out through the open window, but his eyes were unfocussed.
"Weren't his fault I didn't enjoy it," he said at last. "A right bloody pain in the arse!"
The laugh was pure self-deprecating Sean, but Viggo could hear the echo of that long-gone confusion underlying the humour. He laid his palm flat on Sean's chest, not moving, just there, the way he'd reassure an animal.
"Nah, it weren't that bad, but I didn't like how it made me feel." He frowned, running a finger along his lip. "Kind of open."
Vulnerable, Viggo thought, thinking back to his own first time. He'd done it because he wanted it, wanted the guy (whoever he'd been); he'd been as impatient about it as about the first time he'd slept with a girl. Even then, he'd felt vulnerable, as though he'd opened up more than just his body. And Sean hadn't ever been sure of wanting it: must've been worse for him.
"And then I got thinking about Mel, and how it wasn't fair of me to go off and ... Maybe it was me, I dunno, or maybe I just wasn't that into it."
"So that was the end of it?" Viggo said softly.
"Oh, I saw him a couple of times after that," said Sean. "Reckon 'e thought I'd get to like it. But I never went off with him again. Felt like I'd proved something. Proved someone right."
He put his hand over Viggo's, like an affirmation.
Another long pause. Sean's breath was a little more rapid now, as though the effort of letting this memory out had exhausted him. Viggo wanted to say, "We don't have to do all that. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." He wanted to tell Sean he didn't expect anything. It wasn't a lie -- he was prepared to go along with whatever Sean wanted -- but it wasn't quite the truth, either, because he wanted ... he wanted.
"I don't want it to be like that with you," said Sean softly at last, turning his face towards Viggo so that their foreheads were touching. "Promise me you'll --"
"God, Sean," Viggo said suddenly, explosively. "I don't want -- I want you to have everything good. I --"
If he said anything more he was going to end up begging, or pushing, or out of words. Viggo bit his lip, remembering Sean's finger on his lips, pressing against the sore place; it was that memory, more than the prospect of Sean and him fucking, which made him moan. Just being naked, pressing against Sean, would be enough. Just kissing him, wrapping around him, letting him do whatever he wanted ...
He felt Sean drop a light kiss on his neck, as though Sean was reassuring him. That was the wrong way round, wasn't it?
And yet the words came more easily now. "I want to make you feel good," he promised, and felt Sean's hand pressing against his own. "And anyhow..." No, maybe not now, not yet; telling Sean now would sound as though he were making allowances, trying to protect Sean from himself.
Viggo lay quiet, feeling Sean's heartbeat, and wanted.
AUTHOR: Cinzia and Gloria
Full headers here
It was almost too hot to be this close, but Sean didn't complain when Viggo unfolded himself along the edge of the couch, balanced precariously against Sean. Behind him, on the mosaic-patterned coffee table, were two cans of beer. Sean reached across Viggo for one and took a long draught. Viggo let his head loll back on Sean's shoulder and watched him swallow, fascinated by the way the muscles in Sean's throat moved. He was past being aroused by the sight. Just being around Sean was enough to keep desire continually simmering in his veins.
"Sit up a bit, huh?"
Viggo tilted himself so that he could lean on the arm of the couch, and took a swig of Sean's beer. The radio in the kitchen was playing Euro-pop, too low to be more than background noise. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the moment. Sean's bare skin was hot against him from shoulder to elbow; his leg was hooked over Viggo's. They were both sweating, and Sean's calm breath against his damp neck felt cool. The windows were wide open, but there was no breeze. Out in the bay, a yacht motored slowly towards the point. The light was peculiar, dull and silvery, seeming to come from the air itself rather than from the invisible sun above the heavy, low cloud. It was too dark to read, here in the villa, but neither of them had switched on a light.
Very suddenly, without drawing breath before he spoke, Sean said, "I got fucked once."
Viggo tensed himself against the jolt of reaction that almost tipped him off the couch. He wanted to touch Sean, wanted to lean closer to hear every detail; but Sean's voice was not quite calm any more, and Viggo could feel the tension in his body, as if he were getting ready to run. He kept quiet and waited for Sean to say what he wanted to say.
"'S a while ago now. Back when I was still married to Melanie," Sean went on after a moment. He sounded as though he was revisiting a memory that he hadn't brought to mind for years. "Weren't the first time I'd felt like it, but the first time the opportunity arose." He chuckled. "This bloke from back at RADA. Hadn't seen 'im for years, and he turns up out of the blue, do I fancy a pint, great to catch up with each other. All that. He was touring with some two-bit company, just happened to think of me when he was in Sheffield, and lucky for him I was back visiting Mum that week."
He paused to drain the rest of the beer. Viggo wanted to see his face, but it might be easier for Sean to tell his story with nobody looking.
Sean put down the beer can, but he didn't continue the anecdote. The silence grew heavier.
"What happened?" Viggo said softly at last. "Lucky for him?"
Sean shrugged, his shoulder pushing against Viggo's head. "Had a few beers. Back to his hotel for a nightcap -- nah, we both knew what we were up for. It'd been a while, with me and Mel; she was pretty sick when she was having Lorna, and she weren't in the mood. And -- well, I didn't fancy 'im much, but he weren't bad-looking." Another shrug. "Like I said, it weren't the first time I'd thought about it. Wondered. You know."
Viggo did know. He made an affirmative noise.
"He gave me what I wanted, what I thought I wanted. But, y'know, I kind of knew it wouldn't be any good. Knew I wouldn't like it much. After all, if I'd liked it, I'd've been ..."
Sean stopped. He was staring past Viggo, out through the open window, but his eyes were unfocussed.
"Weren't his fault I didn't enjoy it," he said at last. "A right bloody pain in the arse!"
The laugh was pure self-deprecating Sean, but Viggo could hear the echo of that long-gone confusion underlying the humour. He laid his palm flat on Sean's chest, not moving, just there, the way he'd reassure an animal.
"Nah, it weren't that bad, but I didn't like how it made me feel." He frowned, running a finger along his lip. "Kind of open."
Vulnerable, Viggo thought, thinking back to his own first time. He'd done it because he wanted it, wanted the guy (whoever he'd been); he'd been as impatient about it as about the first time he'd slept with a girl. Even then, he'd felt vulnerable, as though he'd opened up more than just his body. And Sean hadn't ever been sure of wanting it: must've been worse for him.
"And then I got thinking about Mel, and how it wasn't fair of me to go off and ... Maybe it was me, I dunno, or maybe I just wasn't that into it."
"So that was the end of it?" Viggo said softly.
"Oh, I saw him a couple of times after that," said Sean. "Reckon 'e thought I'd get to like it. But I never went off with him again. Felt like I'd proved something. Proved someone right."
He put his hand over Viggo's, like an affirmation.
Another long pause. Sean's breath was a little more rapid now, as though the effort of letting this memory out had exhausted him. Viggo wanted to say, "We don't have to do all that. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." He wanted to tell Sean he didn't expect anything. It wasn't a lie -- he was prepared to go along with whatever Sean wanted -- but it wasn't quite the truth, either, because he wanted ... he wanted.
"I don't want it to be like that with you," said Sean softly at last, turning his face towards Viggo so that their foreheads were touching. "Promise me you'll --"
"God, Sean," Viggo said suddenly, explosively. "I don't want -- I want you to have everything good. I --"
If he said anything more he was going to end up begging, or pushing, or out of words. Viggo bit his lip, remembering Sean's finger on his lips, pressing against the sore place; it was that memory, more than the prospect of Sean and him fucking, which made him moan. Just being naked, pressing against Sean, would be enough. Just kissing him, wrapping around him, letting him do whatever he wanted ...
He felt Sean drop a light kiss on his neck, as though Sean was reassuring him. That was the wrong way round, wasn't it?
And yet the words came more easily now. "I want to make you feel good," he promised, and felt Sean's hand pressing against his own. "And anyhow..." No, maybe not now, not yet; telling Sean now would sound as though he were making allowances, trying to protect Sean from himself.
Viggo lay quiet, feeling Sean's heartbeat, and wanted.
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Date: 2003-11-17 10:56 am (UTC)I love how there is bagage - that it isn't easy - and I can practically taste Viggo's want.
And now I'm gasping *G*
*loves*
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Date: 2003-11-18 09:55 am (UTC)But the end's in sight!
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Date: 2003-11-17 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 09:56 am (UTC)Thank you for commenting, and for letting us know how effective we're being!
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Date: 2003-11-18 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-17 04:49 pm (UTC)I like this, like that Viggo doesn't have all the right words, that he doesn't want to hurt Sean or scare him, but he *wants* him so much, too:
He wanted to tell Sean he didn't expect anything. It wasn't a lie -- he was prepared to go along with whatever Sean wanted -- but it wasn't quite the truth, either, because he wanted ... he wanted.
*guh* Viggo's desire is so palpable, the way he watches Sean, the way he treasures every touch, every memory of touch.
Another wonderful installment! *hugs boys*
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 09:59 am (UTC)Thanks for commenting!
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Date: 2003-11-19 06:33 am (UTC)What's lovely about these two is that they've had lots of missteps along the way and missed opportunities, but not just because of their own self-interest or self-preservation--they were so often worried about how the *other* one was feeling or interpreting things that, as my hubby would say, "they out-thunk themselves"...heee..
Am gonna be so sorry to see this series end!! *sniff*
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Date: 2003-11-17 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 09:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-17 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 10:12 am (UTC)So glad you found this relaxing (!) ... hopefully they will obey your instructions! And we don't mind being throttled, no, not a bit ...
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Date: 2003-11-18 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 10:13 am (UTC)Glad the series is teaching you patience, though heaven knows how :) thanks for commenting!
Love you, Cinzia! (And Gloria, too)
Date: 2003-11-18 04:26 am (UTC)Re: Love you, Cinzia! (And Gloria, too)
Date: 2003-11-18 10:13 am (UTC)Thanks for commenting, glad you're enjoying the series!
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Date: 2003-11-18 04:40 am (UTC)I love Sean reassuring Vig, and indeed, at that point Vig's the more wound up of the two. And what was Vig about to say? Ah, cliffhangers.*g*
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Date: 2003-11-18 10:15 am (UTC)These two have certainly done plenty of living, between them. It wouldn't have made sense for them to get this far without baggage -- which is, of course, what's stopped them getting this far much more quickly.
I'm sure you'll work out what Viggo was about to say, from context, once we've posted another couple of chapters!
no subject
Date: 2003-11-20 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 03:16 am (UTC)