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rugbytackleTitle: Payback
Series: 1] Sleeping Beauty 1-6. 2] Sleeping Beauty-Consummation. 3] Sleeping Beauty-Payback
Chapter: 1/
Rated: NC-17
Pairing: VM/SB, VM/OB
Disclaimer: RPS; Real Person Slash. Real names, fake people. Read it, don’t read it. Make an adult decision.
Warning:
Feedback: Nice, but not required.
Archive: No.
Summary: “He owed that faithless sprat a good going over. Trouble was he didn’t know whether he wanted to hug him, or kick his arse from here to Christmas.”
Orlando gets what’s coming to him.
Author: Arden Elear
Email: thedarkvoice@hotmail.com
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/arden_elear/
I know I'm posting rather a lot, for which I apologise. I'm trying to get these last two in the series done because another plot bunny is bashing away at the inside of my brain and it's, well, annoying. *g* Arden.
It was quite a while before Sean became aware that something was wrong.
Perhaps because he was so caught up; dealing with the new relationship and cushioned by euphoria, the work schedule heating up and the fact that his friendship with Orlando remained unaffected, he just hadn’t seen it. But now, he did.
Orlando was avoiding Viggo.
Sitting in the trailer at lunchtime, he watched as Orli made some feeble excuse and dived out the door when Viggo arrived and his brain started shouting at him.
Memories of similar incidents, muttered apologies, sliding glances and all the invitations that had been refused over the past few weeks, flooded in.
“What was that all about?” He mused aloud.
“I don’t know.” Viggo spoke quietly, too quietly, dropping his tray onto the table and taking a seat. Sean realized that Viggo had been aware that something was amiss, but that he’d not made any mention of it.
“He’s been behaving strangely for a while now, hasn’t he? I’ve only just noticed, sorry.”
Viggo nodded, running his hands through Aragorn’s hair, trying to shove it out of his face.
“Why would you? He’s perfectly all right around you. It’s just me he’s avoiding like the plague.”
Sean got up and crossed to the table, laying a hand on Viggo’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “He was funny around me as well to start with. But I assumed it was all that joking around about getting him back for double-crossing me, you know? Or just Orli being considerate, wanting to give us time alone. But I didn’t realize ‘till just now that he’s staying clear of you.” He didn’t voice the question, but Viggo heard it anyway.
“I didn’t do anything, Sean. I’ve been wracking my brains trying to think of something I might have said, something I might have done that’s upset him, but I can’t think of a thing. There’s nothing.”
Sean knew that Viggo had to be more distressed by this then he was letting on.
He crouched down at his side and gave his thigh a reassuring pat. “I know, mate.”
Vig and Orli had been close since the beginning. It had been Orlando more than anyone who had gone out of his way to make Viggo feel welcome, who showed him around, introduced him and answered his questions when he could, or found the right person to ask. The bonds of this friendship ran deep and true, in spite of all the obvious differences. Orli’s ‘crush’ could not weaken it, perhaps had even enhanced it, so Sean knew that Vig had to be really hurt by Orlando’s abrupt withdrawal.
“I’ve tried talking to him, but . . .” Viggo raised his head and looked at Sean, his eyes dark. “He backs off, runs off, whatever it takes to get as far away from me as he fucking can! I’m at a loss here, Sean.” He confessed. “I don’t know what to do. Have no clue what I did and not the first idea what it’ll take to make it right.”
Sean thought about it. “Maybe he’ll talk to me. I could try, if you like?”
Viggo slid down in his chair, threw one leg up to rest across the corner of the table. He picked up a slice of apple from the tray he’d dropped and popped it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.
“Worth a shot.” He shrugged. “Better than I can manage at the moment, anyway.”
Sean grinned at the tone. “Don’t whine, Vig. Especially not when in costume. Makes Aragorn look petulant.”
Viggo managed to smile back. “Not petulant, fool, frustrated. Which is how Aragorn spends most of his time. Me too, lately.”
Sean straightened, stretching the cramp out of his thighs from where he’d been crouching. “I’ll see what I can do.” He promised. He leaned down and stole a quick kiss and then tried for a slice of apple. Viggo slapped his poaching hand away from the plate.
“Ouch! I’m due back, enjoy your lunch.” Try not to worry, in other words.
Viggo nodded and Sean stepped out into the bright sunshine, closing the door behind him.
**
It took Sean three days to corner his prey. Somehow Orlando had guessed that Sean’s repeated requests for a chat were not entirely innocent and he had excuses ready every time Sean approached him.
This only served to make Sean even more determined. Eventually, he stalked up to Orlando between takes and whispered fiercely into his Elven ear, “I am coming to your place after work, Orli. Be there.”
It was a very subdued Orlando who let him in his front door a few hours later. Sean went directly to one of the couches and sat, indicating with a point of his finger that Orli should take the seat opposite. When Orli obeyed and sat down, forearms resting on his knees, hands dangling, looking thoroughly dejected, Sean pounced.
“Right, Orli. Spill.”
Orlando didn’t even try to pretend that he didn’t know what Sean was referring to; he just quickly shook his head and looked away, unwilling or unable to meet Sean’s eyes.
“Look, mate.” Sean told him. “I’ve had enough of this. You’re acting weird here, avoiding Vig like he’s got some kind of disease. He doesn’t have a clue why, which is making him miserable, wondering what he’s done that’s so offensive and I don’t like it when Vig’s unhappy, so, give it up.”
He was surprised by Orlando’s reaction to his words. “What?! Vig thinks . . . ? No! No, Sean. He didn’t do anything. God!” Orli was wringing his hands together. “I never meant . . . I mean it’s not Viggo’s fault. I didn’t think . . . Oh, god!”
He buried his head in his hands. Sean was completely stymied. Orlando couldn’t seem to stand being around Viggo for more than the few minutes it took him to come up with some excuse to leave, but Viggo hadn’t done anything wrong?! What the fuck!?
He tried again, gentler this time. Orlando was really upset.
“Umm, Orli? Maybe you’d better start at the beginning here? You’ve lost me, mate.”
Orli sighed heavily and remained silent and still for a few moments. Maybe composing himself, maybe ordering his thoughts. Eventually, he looked up, his dark eyes over bright.
“I . . . I don’t know where to star . . . Look, Sean, you have to tell him, let him know . . . it’s not what he thinks, It’s not . . . Oh shit, Sean. What a fucking mess.” Another heavy sigh. “It’s me. I’m the problem. I mean, it was okay before. Before the two of you and me helping . . . What I mean is, it was all right, how I felt. Didn’t bother me…”
Now the words had started, they were spilling over the flood gates. Sean had to concentrate hard to try and pick out the relevant bits of the flow.
“. . . maybe ‘cause, like, he had no one, so it was fine. But then, you did and it’s not like I blame you, or that I’m like, jealous or anything. It’s not that. It’s . . . I dunno . . . weird.” Sad shake of his head. “I don’t understand it myself half the time. I just can’t stand being ‘round him. It . . . hurts, Sean.” He tried for a smile, but it was a pallid simulation of its usual brilliant self.
Sean sat back when Orlando stopped and let his breath out in a slow whoosh of feeling. Jeez! He’d not expected anything like this, merely some hassle with an imagined insult or some such that could be sorted out in five minutes.
Definitely not this stream of . . . pain and emotional turmoil! And he’d only understood about half of it!
This kind of a problem was more Viggo’s department than his, but that was out of the question being that poor Vig apparently was the problem. Shit! What to do? Okay, first things first, Sean. Let’s get it all straight in your head.
“You in love with him, Orli?”
Orlando’s head shot back up, vigorous in his denial. “Christ, no, Sean! No. It’s not that. I wish I could explain it better. I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. We’ll work it out.”
“Don’t think we can. For what it’s worth, I do love him, but I’m not in love with him, if you know what I mean?”
Sean nodded. He did know. At least Orlando sounded calmer. Maybe going through it step by step wasn’t a bad idea. Help them both focus, if nothing else.
Even though it was Orlando’s house, it was Sean who offered to and who got up and made them both a drink. It gave him time to order his thoughts and Orlando a little space in which to better compose himself. When he was back on the couch, this time sitting next to Orli instead of opposite, mug of tea in both their hands, he felt considerably better, more ‘in charge’.
“Okay, so you’re not in love with Vig. This is good.” He grinned. Orlando managed a grin back.
“Tosser.”
He let that one pass.
Orlando took a sip of tea. “It’s funny. As in strange.” He clarified. “It’s not a crush. I’ve had them, crushes, lots of times, and this is nothing like that. I truly do love the bloke, you know.” He shrugged. “Everyone does. I love him to bits, but . . .”
“You want him.” Sean said. It was a statement, not a question. Sean didn’t mind. Wasn’t like he didn’t already know the answer. Hell, half the people on this production would jump into bed with Viggo if he crooked his little finger in their direction. Sean had been one of them.
“Yeah, ‘course.” Orlando smiled but then fell silent again, his expression heading straight for ‘miserable’ again.
“Before,” Sean began, heading Orlando off before he got upset again. “You said something about it being all right when Vig wasn’t with anyone? Is that right?”
Orlando bit his lip. “Did I?” He thought about it. “Yeah, I did. Right. I didn’t feel bad. I guess because we were all . . . equal? You know?”
Sean nodded, but didn’t interrupt.
“But now . . .” He shot Sean a sideways look. “He’s with you and it’s like . . . I’m not jealous. Envious, maybe? No, that’s not it either. Like a . . . loss?”
The slender shoulders moved up and down as Orlando expressed his bafflement with his own feelings.
“Like mourning?” Sean was beginning to get a handle on this.
“Yes. Like that.” Orlando flashed him a grateful look. “Missing possibilities, lost opportunity. I no longer have the chance of ever knowing, you get me?”
“I think I do. You love him. Not in love, just love, admire, respect, whatever. Good old honest affection. And you want to be with him. In the biblical sense. And so that’s desire, all mixed up together with the other stuff.” He smiled, but without mirth. “And it’s no longer okay, not manageable, because he and I are together. Yes?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe . . .” Sean began hesitantly. “Maybe now we’ve worked it out, given it a name, it’ll make it easier?”
But Orlando shook his head. “I doubt it.” He said. “Knowing why isn’t going to make it go away. I know I’ve tried. I can’t make it stop, Sean. I want him. Want to know what it’s like to be with him. I can’t talk to him, be near him, without wanting to.”
“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say. There was no solution for this, no easy answer, no apology that could make this right. But he had to say something. Orlando seemed to understand and gave Sean another sad smile.
“I know.” He laid a hand on Sean’s arm. “Don’t tell him, okay. I’ll try harder, I promise. Can’t promise it’ll work, but I will try. None of this is his fault and he shouldn’t have to suffer just because I’m an emotional wreck about this.”
Sean felt a little choked up. Poor Orli. He reached round and pulled his friend into a big, rough bear hug. It was all he could do.
**
Viggo was still up when Sean finally got back. He was curled up on the couch reading, with only a floor lamp and the small fire for illumination. When Sean came in and dropped his keys on Viggo’s table, he got up, stretching the kinks out and smiling a welcome.
“Hey.” He said.
“Hey, you.” Sean wandered over and threaded his arms around Viggo’s waist. Viggo responded by laying his hands on Sean’s shoulders and giving him a quick kiss.
“How’d it go?”
Sean knew that’d be the first thing Vig would ask him. He was not about to break Orli’s confidence, having managed to convince him that he had to tell Vig at least part of the truth. Orli had reluctantly agreed, not wanting to hurt Vig any more than he already had and the two of them had spent the remainder of their evening working out what Sean should say.
“Well,” Sean began. “You can rest easy. You haven’t done anything to Orli.”
Hearing this, Viggo cocked his head to one side, puzzled. “Then what’s the problem?”
“It’s, umm, delicate.” He hesitated. Part-truth or not, it still felt a bit too much like lying to sit well with Sean.
Lying to Viggo was not something he wanted to get into the habit of doing. But there was little choice here; he and Viggo might be lovers, but he was a friend to both men. Rock and a hard place, Sean. Rock and a hard place.
He realized he’d been silent for a bit too long and Viggo was beginning to look a little worried. “There’s nothing . . . wrong, is there? With Orli?”
“No, no.” He hastened to reassure him. “Nothing like that.”
“It’s, err, it’s, well . . . Remember when Orlando had that huge crush? On you?”
“Yeah.” Viggo said cautiously.
“Well, it’s . . . it’s back.”
He felt Viggo release a breath that he probably hadn’t even realized he’d been holding and watched as his face relaxed, tension washing away.
“Oh.” Viggo said softly. Then, ‘oh’ again. “Poor kid.”
Orlando probably wouldn’t relish being referred to as a kid, Sean knew, but at least Viggo seemed to be ready to accept the explanation. This was good, because Sean knew he couldn’t handle any of Viggo’s probing questions without cracking and confessing the truth.
Besides, how would he say it, anyway? ‘Orlando has conceived a passion for you, my love.’ Or something sounding like it came from a bad opera.
Sean knew how Orlando felt; he’d had a similar experience himself once, long time ago.
Now, he couldn’t even remember her name, but at the time, she’d been all he thought about, dreamed of and fantasized over. He’d not been in love with her either, no more than Orlando was with Viggo, but he had wanted her with a passion that bordered on insanity at times. She wasn’t married, he remembered, so he’d had her in the end. Once the night was over, he’d been terribly surprised to discover that his passion had dissipated like smoke. He’d still liked the lady, but their friendship had once again been enough.
“Sean?”
“Oh, sorry Vig. I was miles away.” He smiled an apology.
“Where were you?” Viggo teased.
“Reliving my first crush.” Another half-truth.
“Ahh. Painful things, aren’t they? Like being crushed between heaven and hell. Where the name came from, eh? What do you think?”
“I think you think too much.” He planted a kiss on the end of Viggo’s nose, which, he’d discovered always made Viggo wrinkle it up in the cutest fashion. Just like . . . that.
“Don’t do that!” Vig protested with a laugh.
“Why not? I like doing it. You wrinkle up like a wabbit.”
“It makes me itch, that’s why.”
Sean waggled an eyebrow in a devilish fashion. “Wanna go upstairs and get it scratched?”
“By that, I take it you’re staying the night?”
“Am I invited?”
“Always.”
They broke apart while Sean banked the fire and Viggo got the lights and checked the doors, meeting up at the foot of the stairs.
Sean followed Vig upstairs, grateful for a lot of things, not least of which was that Viggo had let the subject lie, so that he didn’t have to.
Orlando’s ‘passion’ had to wane eventually and he’d promised to try harder to control his reactions to being around Viggo. So, if they could just keep things on an even keel until everything righted itself, it would be smooth sailing for all.
**
Series: 1] Sleeping Beauty 1-6. 2] Sleeping Beauty-Consummation. 3] Sleeping Beauty-Payback
Chapter: 1/
Rated: NC-17
Pairing: VM/SB, VM/OB
Disclaimer: RPS; Real Person Slash. Real names, fake people. Read it, don’t read it. Make an adult decision.
Warning:
Feedback: Nice, but not required.
Archive: No.
Summary: “He owed that faithless sprat a good going over. Trouble was he didn’t know whether he wanted to hug him, or kick his arse from here to Christmas.”
Orlando gets what’s coming to him.
Author: Arden Elear
Email: thedarkvoice@hotmail.com
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/arden_elear/
I know I'm posting rather a lot, for which I apologise. I'm trying to get these last two in the series done because another plot bunny is bashing away at the inside of my brain and it's, well, annoying. *g* Arden.
It was quite a while before Sean became aware that something was wrong.
Perhaps because he was so caught up; dealing with the new relationship and cushioned by euphoria, the work schedule heating up and the fact that his friendship with Orlando remained unaffected, he just hadn’t seen it. But now, he did.
Orlando was avoiding Viggo.
Sitting in the trailer at lunchtime, he watched as Orli made some feeble excuse and dived out the door when Viggo arrived and his brain started shouting at him.
Memories of similar incidents, muttered apologies, sliding glances and all the invitations that had been refused over the past few weeks, flooded in.
“What was that all about?” He mused aloud.
“I don’t know.” Viggo spoke quietly, too quietly, dropping his tray onto the table and taking a seat. Sean realized that Viggo had been aware that something was amiss, but that he’d not made any mention of it.
“He’s been behaving strangely for a while now, hasn’t he? I’ve only just noticed, sorry.”
Viggo nodded, running his hands through Aragorn’s hair, trying to shove it out of his face.
“Why would you? He’s perfectly all right around you. It’s just me he’s avoiding like the plague.”
Sean got up and crossed to the table, laying a hand on Viggo’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “He was funny around me as well to start with. But I assumed it was all that joking around about getting him back for double-crossing me, you know? Or just Orli being considerate, wanting to give us time alone. But I didn’t realize ‘till just now that he’s staying clear of you.” He didn’t voice the question, but Viggo heard it anyway.
“I didn’t do anything, Sean. I’ve been wracking my brains trying to think of something I might have said, something I might have done that’s upset him, but I can’t think of a thing. There’s nothing.”
Sean knew that Viggo had to be more distressed by this then he was letting on.
He crouched down at his side and gave his thigh a reassuring pat. “I know, mate.”
Vig and Orli had been close since the beginning. It had been Orlando more than anyone who had gone out of his way to make Viggo feel welcome, who showed him around, introduced him and answered his questions when he could, or found the right person to ask. The bonds of this friendship ran deep and true, in spite of all the obvious differences. Orli’s ‘crush’ could not weaken it, perhaps had even enhanced it, so Sean knew that Vig had to be really hurt by Orlando’s abrupt withdrawal.
“I’ve tried talking to him, but . . .” Viggo raised his head and looked at Sean, his eyes dark. “He backs off, runs off, whatever it takes to get as far away from me as he fucking can! I’m at a loss here, Sean.” He confessed. “I don’t know what to do. Have no clue what I did and not the first idea what it’ll take to make it right.”
Sean thought about it. “Maybe he’ll talk to me. I could try, if you like?”
Viggo slid down in his chair, threw one leg up to rest across the corner of the table. He picked up a slice of apple from the tray he’d dropped and popped it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.
“Worth a shot.” He shrugged. “Better than I can manage at the moment, anyway.”
Sean grinned at the tone. “Don’t whine, Vig. Especially not when in costume. Makes Aragorn look petulant.”
Viggo managed to smile back. “Not petulant, fool, frustrated. Which is how Aragorn spends most of his time. Me too, lately.”
Sean straightened, stretching the cramp out of his thighs from where he’d been crouching. “I’ll see what I can do.” He promised. He leaned down and stole a quick kiss and then tried for a slice of apple. Viggo slapped his poaching hand away from the plate.
“Ouch! I’m due back, enjoy your lunch.” Try not to worry, in other words.
Viggo nodded and Sean stepped out into the bright sunshine, closing the door behind him.
**
It took Sean three days to corner his prey. Somehow Orlando had guessed that Sean’s repeated requests for a chat were not entirely innocent and he had excuses ready every time Sean approached him.
This only served to make Sean even more determined. Eventually, he stalked up to Orlando between takes and whispered fiercely into his Elven ear, “I am coming to your place after work, Orli. Be there.”
It was a very subdued Orlando who let him in his front door a few hours later. Sean went directly to one of the couches and sat, indicating with a point of his finger that Orli should take the seat opposite. When Orli obeyed and sat down, forearms resting on his knees, hands dangling, looking thoroughly dejected, Sean pounced.
“Right, Orli. Spill.”
Orlando didn’t even try to pretend that he didn’t know what Sean was referring to; he just quickly shook his head and looked away, unwilling or unable to meet Sean’s eyes.
“Look, mate.” Sean told him. “I’ve had enough of this. You’re acting weird here, avoiding Vig like he’s got some kind of disease. He doesn’t have a clue why, which is making him miserable, wondering what he’s done that’s so offensive and I don’t like it when Vig’s unhappy, so, give it up.”
He was surprised by Orlando’s reaction to his words. “What?! Vig thinks . . . ? No! No, Sean. He didn’t do anything. God!” Orli was wringing his hands together. “I never meant . . . I mean it’s not Viggo’s fault. I didn’t think . . . Oh, god!”
He buried his head in his hands. Sean was completely stymied. Orlando couldn’t seem to stand being around Viggo for more than the few minutes it took him to come up with some excuse to leave, but Viggo hadn’t done anything wrong?! What the fuck!?
He tried again, gentler this time. Orlando was really upset.
“Umm, Orli? Maybe you’d better start at the beginning here? You’ve lost me, mate.”
Orli sighed heavily and remained silent and still for a few moments. Maybe composing himself, maybe ordering his thoughts. Eventually, he looked up, his dark eyes over bright.
“I . . . I don’t know where to star . . . Look, Sean, you have to tell him, let him know . . . it’s not what he thinks, It’s not . . . Oh shit, Sean. What a fucking mess.” Another heavy sigh. “It’s me. I’m the problem. I mean, it was okay before. Before the two of you and me helping . . . What I mean is, it was all right, how I felt. Didn’t bother me…”
Now the words had started, they were spilling over the flood gates. Sean had to concentrate hard to try and pick out the relevant bits of the flow.
“. . . maybe ‘cause, like, he had no one, so it was fine. But then, you did and it’s not like I blame you, or that I’m like, jealous or anything. It’s not that. It’s . . . I dunno . . . weird.” Sad shake of his head. “I don’t understand it myself half the time. I just can’t stand being ‘round him. It . . . hurts, Sean.” He tried for a smile, but it was a pallid simulation of its usual brilliant self.
Sean sat back when Orlando stopped and let his breath out in a slow whoosh of feeling. Jeez! He’d not expected anything like this, merely some hassle with an imagined insult or some such that could be sorted out in five minutes.
Definitely not this stream of . . . pain and emotional turmoil! And he’d only understood about half of it!
This kind of a problem was more Viggo’s department than his, but that was out of the question being that poor Vig apparently was the problem. Shit! What to do? Okay, first things first, Sean. Let’s get it all straight in your head.
“You in love with him, Orli?”
Orlando’s head shot back up, vigorous in his denial. “Christ, no, Sean! No. It’s not that. I wish I could explain it better. I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. We’ll work it out.”
“Don’t think we can. For what it’s worth, I do love him, but I’m not in love with him, if you know what I mean?”
Sean nodded. He did know. At least Orlando sounded calmer. Maybe going through it step by step wasn’t a bad idea. Help them both focus, if nothing else.
Even though it was Orlando’s house, it was Sean who offered to and who got up and made them both a drink. It gave him time to order his thoughts and Orlando a little space in which to better compose himself. When he was back on the couch, this time sitting next to Orli instead of opposite, mug of tea in both their hands, he felt considerably better, more ‘in charge’.
“Okay, so you’re not in love with Vig. This is good.” He grinned. Orlando managed a grin back.
“Tosser.”
He let that one pass.
Orlando took a sip of tea. “It’s funny. As in strange.” He clarified. “It’s not a crush. I’ve had them, crushes, lots of times, and this is nothing like that. I truly do love the bloke, you know.” He shrugged. “Everyone does. I love him to bits, but . . .”
“You want him.” Sean said. It was a statement, not a question. Sean didn’t mind. Wasn’t like he didn’t already know the answer. Hell, half the people on this production would jump into bed with Viggo if he crooked his little finger in their direction. Sean had been one of them.
“Yeah, ‘course.” Orlando smiled but then fell silent again, his expression heading straight for ‘miserable’ again.
“Before,” Sean began, heading Orlando off before he got upset again. “You said something about it being all right when Vig wasn’t with anyone? Is that right?”
Orlando bit his lip. “Did I?” He thought about it. “Yeah, I did. Right. I didn’t feel bad. I guess because we were all . . . equal? You know?”
Sean nodded, but didn’t interrupt.
“But now . . .” He shot Sean a sideways look. “He’s with you and it’s like . . . I’m not jealous. Envious, maybe? No, that’s not it either. Like a . . . loss?”
The slender shoulders moved up and down as Orlando expressed his bafflement with his own feelings.
“Like mourning?” Sean was beginning to get a handle on this.
“Yes. Like that.” Orlando flashed him a grateful look. “Missing possibilities, lost opportunity. I no longer have the chance of ever knowing, you get me?”
“I think I do. You love him. Not in love, just love, admire, respect, whatever. Good old honest affection. And you want to be with him. In the biblical sense. And so that’s desire, all mixed up together with the other stuff.” He smiled, but without mirth. “And it’s no longer okay, not manageable, because he and I are together. Yes?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe . . .” Sean began hesitantly. “Maybe now we’ve worked it out, given it a name, it’ll make it easier?”
But Orlando shook his head. “I doubt it.” He said. “Knowing why isn’t going to make it go away. I know I’ve tried. I can’t make it stop, Sean. I want him. Want to know what it’s like to be with him. I can’t talk to him, be near him, without wanting to.”
“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say. There was no solution for this, no easy answer, no apology that could make this right. But he had to say something. Orlando seemed to understand and gave Sean another sad smile.
“I know.” He laid a hand on Sean’s arm. “Don’t tell him, okay. I’ll try harder, I promise. Can’t promise it’ll work, but I will try. None of this is his fault and he shouldn’t have to suffer just because I’m an emotional wreck about this.”
Sean felt a little choked up. Poor Orli. He reached round and pulled his friend into a big, rough bear hug. It was all he could do.
**
Viggo was still up when Sean finally got back. He was curled up on the couch reading, with only a floor lamp and the small fire for illumination. When Sean came in and dropped his keys on Viggo’s table, he got up, stretching the kinks out and smiling a welcome.
“Hey.” He said.
“Hey, you.” Sean wandered over and threaded his arms around Viggo’s waist. Viggo responded by laying his hands on Sean’s shoulders and giving him a quick kiss.
“How’d it go?”
Sean knew that’d be the first thing Vig would ask him. He was not about to break Orli’s confidence, having managed to convince him that he had to tell Vig at least part of the truth. Orli had reluctantly agreed, not wanting to hurt Vig any more than he already had and the two of them had spent the remainder of their evening working out what Sean should say.
“Well,” Sean began. “You can rest easy. You haven’t done anything to Orli.”
Hearing this, Viggo cocked his head to one side, puzzled. “Then what’s the problem?”
“It’s, umm, delicate.” He hesitated. Part-truth or not, it still felt a bit too much like lying to sit well with Sean.
Lying to Viggo was not something he wanted to get into the habit of doing. But there was little choice here; he and Viggo might be lovers, but he was a friend to both men. Rock and a hard place, Sean. Rock and a hard place.
He realized he’d been silent for a bit too long and Viggo was beginning to look a little worried. “There’s nothing . . . wrong, is there? With Orli?”
“No, no.” He hastened to reassure him. “Nothing like that.”
“It’s, err, it’s, well . . . Remember when Orlando had that huge crush? On you?”
“Yeah.” Viggo said cautiously.
“Well, it’s . . . it’s back.”
He felt Viggo release a breath that he probably hadn’t even realized he’d been holding and watched as his face relaxed, tension washing away.
“Oh.” Viggo said softly. Then, ‘oh’ again. “Poor kid.”
Orlando probably wouldn’t relish being referred to as a kid, Sean knew, but at least Viggo seemed to be ready to accept the explanation. This was good, because Sean knew he couldn’t handle any of Viggo’s probing questions without cracking and confessing the truth.
Besides, how would he say it, anyway? ‘Orlando has conceived a passion for you, my love.’ Or something sounding like it came from a bad opera.
Sean knew how Orlando felt; he’d had a similar experience himself once, long time ago.
Now, he couldn’t even remember her name, but at the time, she’d been all he thought about, dreamed of and fantasized over. He’d not been in love with her either, no more than Orlando was with Viggo, but he had wanted her with a passion that bordered on insanity at times. She wasn’t married, he remembered, so he’d had her in the end. Once the night was over, he’d been terribly surprised to discover that his passion had dissipated like smoke. He’d still liked the lady, but their friendship had once again been enough.
“Sean?”
“Oh, sorry Vig. I was miles away.” He smiled an apology.
“Where were you?” Viggo teased.
“Reliving my first crush.” Another half-truth.
“Ahh. Painful things, aren’t they? Like being crushed between heaven and hell. Where the name came from, eh? What do you think?”
“I think you think too much.” He planted a kiss on the end of Viggo’s nose, which, he’d discovered always made Viggo wrinkle it up in the cutest fashion. Just like . . . that.
“Don’t do that!” Vig protested with a laugh.
“Why not? I like doing it. You wrinkle up like a wabbit.”
“It makes me itch, that’s why.”
Sean waggled an eyebrow in a devilish fashion. “Wanna go upstairs and get it scratched?”
“By that, I take it you’re staying the night?”
“Am I invited?”
“Always.”
They broke apart while Sean banked the fire and Viggo got the lights and checked the doors, meeting up at the foot of the stairs.
Sean followed Vig upstairs, grateful for a lot of things, not least of which was that Viggo had let the subject lie, so that he didn’t have to.
Orlando’s ‘passion’ had to wane eventually and he’d promised to try harder to control his reactions to being around Viggo. So, if they could just keep things on an even keel until everything righted itself, it would be smooth sailing for all.
**
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Date: 2004-01-05 02:15 pm (UTC)