A fluffy bunny
Jan. 22nd, 2004 12:28 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
arden-elear.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleTitle: Badass.
Series: None
Chapter: None.
Rated: L for lunacy. PG
Pairing: OB/KU VM SB
Disclaimer: RPS: Real Person Slash. Read it/ Don’t read it. Make an adult decision.
Warning: This fic. is a ferret-free zone.
Feedback: Nice, but not required.
Archive: No
Overall Summary: Frustration, homicidal thoughts, exciting visions of exploding heads.
Chapter Summary: None
Author: Arden Elear
Email: thedarkvoice@hotmail.com
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/arden_elear/
Enough is enough, he thinks. Enough of the plaintive sighs, the poorly-hidden glances of longing, the heavy sighs, the twist of the head to see where the other gone which invariably lead to spilled drinks on his lap as concentration wavered and failed and the endless number of falsely-casual questions, ‘Seen Karl today, Vig?’. As if he was ignorant, for chrissakes! How the fuck could he be ignorant? Actually, right about now, he’d gladly give up his left nut for ignorance! For peace and quiet.
And now frustration had set in, imagined rejections festering in their fertile little imaginations and the sniping had started, all of which was giving Viggo one massive fucking headache! Sharing a trailer with Orlando was wearing at the best of times; sharing a trailer with a lovesick Orlando was hell on wheels. And Karl was no better.
Viggo needed his calm refuge, his trailer, back. Viggo needed the status quo restored before he went insane and started muttering and drooling into his own lap. Viggo needed to galvanize these two into some kind of action before he lost the plot completely and took to the pair of them with Anduril!
Lord knows, he’d tried.
“He does like you, Orlando.” Calm, reassuring, hopeful.
Nope.
“Orlando, go see him. Tell him.” Encouraging, composed, anxious.
Uh-uh.
“For fuck’s sake, Orlando, stop fidgeting! Go find Karl and shag like rabbits or something. Please.” Frustrated, frantic, exasperated.
Sullen refusal.
“Aarrgh.” Homicidal, psychotic, serial killer.
Karl was nice. At least, sane, calm, pre-Orlando Karl was nice. Terminally restless, twitchy, moody Karl was a pain in the ass. But Viggo was getting desperate.
“Orlando. I’m going over to see Karl. If Henry calls, tell him I’ll call him back, okay?”
“Umm. Okay. Umm . . . Viggo?”
“Yes, Orlando?”
“Why are you going to see K . . . him?”
Shrug. “Well, I figure if you won’t shag him, I might as well.” Let him stew on that for a while!
Slam the door shut on the way out and hope the increase of the air pressure in the trailer makes Orlando’s head explode.
*
This is ridiculous, he thinks as he stomps across the muddy field that houses the trailers. Karl is no more likely to listen to me than Orlando was. In fact, less likely. He doesn’t know me all that well.
Which could, the evil little voice inside his head tells him, be used to advantage here.
Oh and how is that?
Well, you just planted a seed in Orlando’s fertile, fervid little brain. How long do you think he’s gonna sit there before he just can’t stand it any more, eh?
Hmm.
Give him about two minutes, tops, and Orlando was going to be out that door and across that field like Ben Johnson!
The evil little voice chuckled softly in satisfaction.
*
“Oh. Viggo. Hi. What can I do for you?”
“Need to talk to you for a minute, if that’s okay?”
“Sure. Come on in.”
“Thanks.”
“Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?”
How about my peace and quiet back?
“No thanks.”
“Okay. Then, how can I help you?”
Something just slithered past the window. Something tall and surreptitious with brown hair and great big, Jersey cow-eyes.
Viggo moves in closer to Karl, invades his personal space. Karl’s eyes widen and he attempts to step back but the table is in the way. Viggo is beginning to think he’s surrounded by big brown eyes, but persists anyway. He can deal with the nightmares later.
Slides one arm quickly about Karl’s waist, the other to grip the back of his head. Get this over with. Presses his lips to Karl’s, ignoring the indrawn hiss of breath, the attempt to turn aside. Hurry the fuck up, Orlando, he thinks.
The door bangs open.
“Viggo!”
Thank God.
“Yes, Orlando?” He asks mildly.
“How could you?”
Karl is watching them both in complete confusion. Viggo will let him work it out on his own. He’s a bright boy.
Viggo shrugs again. “You wouldn’t make a move. Thought I might as well.”
Oh, I am such a badass.
“But . . . but. You’re straight!”
“Says who?” Process that, Bloom!
“Oh. But . . .”
“But what, Orlando? Either spit it out or get lost. I’m kinda busy.”
“But you know how I feel. About . . . About . . .” Orlando flaps his hands about distractedly.
“Feel? About what?” Oh good. Finally. Karl has entered the fray.
“He’s mad about you.” Viggo tells him.
“He is?”
“Viggo!”
“Well, you are.”
“You are?”
“Umm. Yes. I am.”
Viggo cocks an expectant eyebrow at Karl who, blessedly, takes the hint.
“Yeah?” He says, almost shyly. “Me too.”
“You are? I mean, you do?”
“Umm. Yeah. I do. I mean . . . I am.”
Viggo slips out from between them, not wishing to get caught in the crush. He exits with seconds to spare and manages to slip out of the trailer as silently as any elf.
Thank goodness that is over. Now, a nice, quiet cup of tea is just what he needs. Furiously scrubbing his lips, he enters the silent sanctuary of his trailer.
“So what was all that about then?”
Viggo turns from the kettle, surprised. Sean is sitting on the couch in the semi gloom of his safe haven.
“What was what?” He hedges.
“All that mad scrambling about.” Sean waves a hand in the general direction of the door. “You, marching across to Karl’s trailer looking like Doctor Death with your fists clenched. Orlando hot on your heels, all red-faced and wild looking and now you come back rubbing at your mouth like you tasted something bad.”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah mate. That.”
Sean gets up and walks, no stalks, across the floor toward him. Now that Viggo thinks abstractedly, is how you do badass.
“Nothing.” Viggo hopes he didn’t just squeak, but he’s kind of afraid he did.
Sean’s still coming so Viggo takes a step back, bringing his hands up to . . . do something.
His ass bangs up against a hard surface. The table. This is all starting to get horribly familiar.
“What did you do to Karl, Vig?”
“He kissed him.”
Oh fuck! He left the door open. It’s Orlando. And Karl.
Viggo gives them both a surly look.
“Shouldn’t you be off somewhere shagging like rabbits?” He asks pointedly.
“We wanted to thank you first.” Karl says politely. “We realized . . . you know. After you’d gone.”
“Consider me thanked.” He says rapidly, not liking the glint in Sean’s eyes. “Now go away.”
Or was that a bad idea?
Too late. They’ve gone.
“You kissed Karl?”
Viggo tries another one of those insouciant shrugs.
“Seemed like a good idea at the time.” He offers timidly.
Sean cups a hand beneath his chin and lifts it, forcing Viggo to look at him. Oh shit!
“You turn me down a thousand times. Tell me you don’t do castmates. Don’t do guys at all, any more. Or girls. That you like me, find me attractive, but you’re a practicing celibate, so you can’t. Won’t! Not even a kiss. Because the sex stuff interferes with your whatever-you-call-it centering yourself. Then you just . . . wander across there and kiss Karl! Just like that!” Sean’s eyes have narrowed down to dangerous green pinpricks, his voice is low. Dangerously low.
“I . . . umm. I didn’t want to kiss Karl.” He defends himself then realizes his mistake.
“And you do want to kiss me?”
I’m doomed, he thinks.
“Umm.”
“Viggo!” He is warned.
“Umm. Mmmmmmpphhh.”
Fin.
Series: None
Chapter: None.
Rated: L for lunacy. PG
Pairing: OB/KU VM SB
Disclaimer: RPS: Real Person Slash. Read it/ Don’t read it. Make an adult decision.
Warning: This fic. is a ferret-free zone.
Feedback: Nice, but not required.
Archive: No
Overall Summary: Frustration, homicidal thoughts, exciting visions of exploding heads.
Chapter Summary: None
Author: Arden Elear
Email: thedarkvoice@hotmail.com
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/arden_elear/
Enough is enough, he thinks. Enough of the plaintive sighs, the poorly-hidden glances of longing, the heavy sighs, the twist of the head to see where the other gone which invariably lead to spilled drinks on his lap as concentration wavered and failed and the endless number of falsely-casual questions, ‘Seen Karl today, Vig?’. As if he was ignorant, for chrissakes! How the fuck could he be ignorant? Actually, right about now, he’d gladly give up his left nut for ignorance! For peace and quiet.
And now frustration had set in, imagined rejections festering in their fertile little imaginations and the sniping had started, all of which was giving Viggo one massive fucking headache! Sharing a trailer with Orlando was wearing at the best of times; sharing a trailer with a lovesick Orlando was hell on wheels. And Karl was no better.
Viggo needed his calm refuge, his trailer, back. Viggo needed the status quo restored before he went insane and started muttering and drooling into his own lap. Viggo needed to galvanize these two into some kind of action before he lost the plot completely and took to the pair of them with Anduril!
Lord knows, he’d tried.
“He does like you, Orlando.” Calm, reassuring, hopeful.
Nope.
“Orlando, go see him. Tell him.” Encouraging, composed, anxious.
Uh-uh.
“For fuck’s sake, Orlando, stop fidgeting! Go find Karl and shag like rabbits or something. Please.” Frustrated, frantic, exasperated.
Sullen refusal.
“Aarrgh.” Homicidal, psychotic, serial killer.
Karl was nice. At least, sane, calm, pre-Orlando Karl was nice. Terminally restless, twitchy, moody Karl was a pain in the ass. But Viggo was getting desperate.
“Orlando. I’m going over to see Karl. If Henry calls, tell him I’ll call him back, okay?”
“Umm. Okay. Umm . . . Viggo?”
“Yes, Orlando?”
“Why are you going to see K . . . him?”
Shrug. “Well, I figure if you won’t shag him, I might as well.” Let him stew on that for a while!
Slam the door shut on the way out and hope the increase of the air pressure in the trailer makes Orlando’s head explode.
*
This is ridiculous, he thinks as he stomps across the muddy field that houses the trailers. Karl is no more likely to listen to me than Orlando was. In fact, less likely. He doesn’t know me all that well.
Which could, the evil little voice inside his head tells him, be used to advantage here.
Oh and how is that?
Well, you just planted a seed in Orlando’s fertile, fervid little brain. How long do you think he’s gonna sit there before he just can’t stand it any more, eh?
Hmm.
Give him about two minutes, tops, and Orlando was going to be out that door and across that field like Ben Johnson!
The evil little voice chuckled softly in satisfaction.
*
“Oh. Viggo. Hi. What can I do for you?”
“Need to talk to you for a minute, if that’s okay?”
“Sure. Come on in.”
“Thanks.”
“Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?”
How about my peace and quiet back?
“No thanks.”
“Okay. Then, how can I help you?”
Something just slithered past the window. Something tall and surreptitious with brown hair and great big, Jersey cow-eyes.
Viggo moves in closer to Karl, invades his personal space. Karl’s eyes widen and he attempts to step back but the table is in the way. Viggo is beginning to think he’s surrounded by big brown eyes, but persists anyway. He can deal with the nightmares later.
Slides one arm quickly about Karl’s waist, the other to grip the back of his head. Get this over with. Presses his lips to Karl’s, ignoring the indrawn hiss of breath, the attempt to turn aside. Hurry the fuck up, Orlando, he thinks.
The door bangs open.
“Viggo!”
Thank God.
“Yes, Orlando?” He asks mildly.
“How could you?”
Karl is watching them both in complete confusion. Viggo will let him work it out on his own. He’s a bright boy.
Viggo shrugs again. “You wouldn’t make a move. Thought I might as well.”
Oh, I am such a badass.
“But . . . but. You’re straight!”
“Says who?” Process that, Bloom!
“Oh. But . . .”
“But what, Orlando? Either spit it out or get lost. I’m kinda busy.”
“But you know how I feel. About . . . About . . .” Orlando flaps his hands about distractedly.
“Feel? About what?” Oh good. Finally. Karl has entered the fray.
“He’s mad about you.” Viggo tells him.
“He is?”
“Viggo!”
“Well, you are.”
“You are?”
“Umm. Yes. I am.”
Viggo cocks an expectant eyebrow at Karl who, blessedly, takes the hint.
“Yeah?” He says, almost shyly. “Me too.”
“You are? I mean, you do?”
“Umm. Yeah. I do. I mean . . . I am.”
Viggo slips out from between them, not wishing to get caught in the crush. He exits with seconds to spare and manages to slip out of the trailer as silently as any elf.
Thank goodness that is over. Now, a nice, quiet cup of tea is just what he needs. Furiously scrubbing his lips, he enters the silent sanctuary of his trailer.
“So what was all that about then?”
Viggo turns from the kettle, surprised. Sean is sitting on the couch in the semi gloom of his safe haven.
“What was what?” He hedges.
“All that mad scrambling about.” Sean waves a hand in the general direction of the door. “You, marching across to Karl’s trailer looking like Doctor Death with your fists clenched. Orlando hot on your heels, all red-faced and wild looking and now you come back rubbing at your mouth like you tasted something bad.”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah mate. That.”
Sean gets up and walks, no stalks, across the floor toward him. Now that Viggo thinks abstractedly, is how you do badass.
“Nothing.” Viggo hopes he didn’t just squeak, but he’s kind of afraid he did.
Sean’s still coming so Viggo takes a step back, bringing his hands up to . . . do something.
His ass bangs up against a hard surface. The table. This is all starting to get horribly familiar.
“What did you do to Karl, Vig?”
“He kissed him.”
Oh fuck! He left the door open. It’s Orlando. And Karl.
Viggo gives them both a surly look.
“Shouldn’t you be off somewhere shagging like rabbits?” He asks pointedly.
“We wanted to thank you first.” Karl says politely. “We realized . . . you know. After you’d gone.”
“Consider me thanked.” He says rapidly, not liking the glint in Sean’s eyes. “Now go away.”
Or was that a bad idea?
Too late. They’ve gone.
“You kissed Karl?”
Viggo tries another one of those insouciant shrugs.
“Seemed like a good idea at the time.” He offers timidly.
Sean cups a hand beneath his chin and lifts it, forcing Viggo to look at him. Oh shit!
“You turn me down a thousand times. Tell me you don’t do castmates. Don’t do guys at all, any more. Or girls. That you like me, find me attractive, but you’re a practicing celibate, so you can’t. Won’t! Not even a kiss. Because the sex stuff interferes with your whatever-you-call-it centering yourself. Then you just . . . wander across there and kiss Karl! Just like that!” Sean’s eyes have narrowed down to dangerous green pinpricks, his voice is low. Dangerously low.
“I . . . umm. I didn’t want to kiss Karl.” He defends himself then realizes his mistake.
“And you do want to kiss me?”
I’m doomed, he thinks.
“Umm.”
“Viggo!” He is warned.
“Umm. Mmmmmmpphhh.”
Fin.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 02:47 pm (UTC)Very fun... fluff is good on a cold morning--now I'm all warm and fuzzy inside!
~Kris
no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 05:23 pm (UTC)Thank you *S*
no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 06:52 pm (UTC)Something just slithered past the window. Something tall and surreptitious with brown hair and great big, Jersey cow-eyes.
*giggles*
no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 07:08 pm (UTC)Now that Viggo thinks abstractedly, is how you do badass.
Yeah, baby!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 07:21 pm (UTC)*giggles madly* I'll take nightmares about Karl and Orlando any day....
Sean gets up and walks, no stalks, across the floor toward him. Now that Viggo thinks abstractedly, is how you do badass.
I that might be the best line I have ever read. Please write some more about badass!Sean....
Loved this lots. Made me smile and giggle. Hope you write more soon.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-21 10:28 pm (UTC)I’m doomed, he thinks.
“Umm.”
“Viggo!” He is warned.
“Umm. Mmmmmmpphhh.”
Oh man. It's amazing what kind of lovely images can be conveyed without the use of actual words, isn't it? :)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 01:10 am (UTC)Perfect! What imagery without any "real" words! Lovely!
Oh and Sean a badass? I'd of never thunk it! haha ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 06:59 am (UTC)unnngggghhhh...can't stop drooling...
this was a wonderful piece!!! hope you write more!!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 10:00 am (UTC)Now, would that be Ben before steroids, or after? *G*
Smart boy, that Sean -- gotta love him! *wink* Lovely fic!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-22 12:17 pm (UTC)Just what I needed to read this morning to scrub my brain from the horrid fic I'd read last night.