rugbytackle | FIC: A Most Unusual Interview, VM/SB, SB/Lucifer, PG

TITLE: A Most Unusual Interview
AUTHOR:

lamath
PAIRING: SB/VM, SB/Lucifer
RATING: PG
ARCHIVE: Anywhere, just let me know.
FEEDBACK: All feedback appreciated.
SUMMARY: Lucifer interviews Sean Bean.

NOTES: Yet another sequel to Matchmaker, because

lannamichaels is evil and sicced a bunny on me while I was swooning over her fic, and thus, in a weakened state of mind.

DISCLAIMER: None of this is real. I'd also put in the requisite warnings about this being blasphemy, but hey, if you're reading RPS, you're gonna end up in Hell anyway. ;-)

Sean opened one eye lazily, then the other. A quick check of his watch told him that it was only 2 o'clock in the morning. Far too early to be awake. Especially when he was snuggled up comfortably against Viggo.

Viggo. Who wasn't here at this moment. Which was odd. Sean was also sweaty. Which was very odd, because Viggo wasn't here.

He stretched a bit, reaching for the covers.

"What the…" His hands found nothing but air. Sean was still too sleepy to complain coherently, so he settled for a short growl instead. It was one thing for Viggo to hog the covers while they slept. It was another thing to take the covers away altogether.

Thankfully, it wasn't very cold this morning, even though the weather forecast predicted sub-zero temperatures.

"Odd," mumbled Sean.

"Really? My interior decorators assured me that this was the latest and most fashionable trend in decorating."

Sean blinked. Someone was talking to him. Someone who sounded suspiciously familiar.

"Huh?"

"You know. Interior decorators. I'm sure you have them in Britain." The mystery man spoke with an impatient tone, mixed with a bit of smugness.

Sean tried to stand up, stumbled, then clumsily regained his footing. "Who--"
He stopped in mid-sentence. The mystery man was Viggo. But not really, because he was different. Somehow.

The man chuckled. "You know, last time we met, you asked me the same question. Unfortunately, your … boyfriend … interrupted our conversation."

Sean officially declared himself confused. First, he was pretty sure he would remember meeting Viggo's doppelganger. Second, no one knew about his relationship with Viggo yet. So who was this man?

"Ahem. Maybe you can answer my question, then?" he finally said.

"Oh, very well. I am Lucifer."

"Really…" Sean tried his best to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

"Yes." The man… or rather, Lucifer, seemed perfectly sincere.

"Prove it."

"You mean to tell me that being transported mysteriously to a Hellish dimension and holding a conversation in the nude with your boyfriend's doppelganger isn't enough proof for you?"

Despite the high temperatures, Sean suddenly felt chilly and exposed.

"Um."

Lucifer laughed. "Speechless, Sean? I hope that doesn't last too long. I need to interview you."

"Interview? Me?"

"Yes. So why don't you make yourself comfortable? Is there anything you'll need? Tea? Whipped cream? Handcuffs?"

"Err… Something to wear would be nice."

"Ah, we ran out of extra clothes yesterday. A real pity."

"Oh. Well. Some tea, then, I guess."

"No handcuffs?"

"Um. No. Appreciate the thought, though. Really."

"All right. Now, just lie down on that bed there, and we can begin."

Sean took one look at the tacky heart-shaped bed, and blurted out, "Begin what?!"

"The interview, of course. What else?"

Sean tried hard not to blush, but knew that he was failing spectacularly. He hated it when that happened. Determined not to let this 'Lucifer' character faze him any further, he walked calmly to the bed and lay down on it.

Within the blink of an eye, Lucifer pounced and jumped on top of him.

"What are you doing, you wanker?!" Sean tried to push the Devil off him, but his body didn't seem particularly motivated to follow his mind's commands.

"Getting comfortable," was the nonchalant reply. "By the way, your tea is on the table to our left."

"Thank you…?" Sean turned his head to see that yes, there was a cup of tea on that table. Unfortunately, with Lucifer on top of him, he could hardly move, let alone reach over and grab the tea.

"So, first question - of all the characters you've played, do you have a favourite?"

"Ah, well… I hadn't really thought about that. They're all special to me, in their own ways."

"Now now, that's a copout answer you could give the magazines, but not to me. Pick one." The voice next to his ear was menacing this time, and Sean shivered.

"Can I think about this?"

"Of course." Lucifer quickly became the poster-boy for politeness.

Hrm… favourite characters, favourite characters… Sean mentally went through the list of characters he'd played. Playing the Bond villain was fun, even if he was a bit dense, letting Bond off too easily most of the times. And of course, there were some of his earlier roles that not many people knew about… Halfway through thinking about his movies, Sean was suddenly distracted by Lucifer licking the side of his face.

"Don't."

"Oh. Sorry. Was that distracting?"

Sean closed his eyes, determined not to look at the cocky grin that Lucifer was sure to be wearing. Think movies. Think movies. Oh, oh, what is he doing now?

"All right! All right! It's uh… Macbeth! Yeah. Shakespeare. Real genius, y'know?"

Lucifer smiled, his eyes glinting. "Ah, so you like your men tempted, too? I would have gone for Boromir myself. So much repressed sexual energy - simply waiting to be released."

Sean bit his lip, and tried not to think about Boromir's nightly activities. Especially his nightly activities involving a certain yet-to-be-crowned King. Those thoughts vanished immediately when Lucifer planted a kiss on Sean's lips that left him breathless. But before Sean could muster up a protest, Lucifer continued talking.

"Moving on now. Next question - what's your secret sexual fantasy?"

"Did you know that my publicist tells me not to answer questions like that?"

"Hm. Yet another reason for me to despise those people. Answer it anyway."

"It's not terribly exciting."

"Don't try to get out of this."

"Well, I've always loved gardening…"

"Gardens, hmm? Fascinating. You know, many people don't know this about me, but I'm a big fan of nature. Beautiful, unpredictable, with a great mean destructive streak in her. And gardening. If you really think about it, it's almost like controlling nature, isn't it?" Lucifer smirked. "Always figured you for a sexy dominatrix."

Sean wanted to say something, but wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.

"It's always the quiet ones," said Lucifer with a wink.

"Are you done?" Sean was beginning to feel irritated, not to mention frustrated. There was someone on top of him who is the spitting image of Viggo, but somehow, it wasn't him. It felt so right, yet he could not bring himself to react to Lucifer's touches. Add to it all this talk of temptation and domination, and Sean was sure that he would be kissing his sanity good-bye. Soon.

"Eager to get back to Viggo?" whispered Lucifer, his tongue flickering over Sean's ear.

Sean moaned. "Please…"

"Fine. We shall have to resume this at a later date."

Sean whimpered.

***

At 5 o'clock in the morning, a very confused Viggo woke up to find a very aroused Sean on top of him, performing very very wicked acts.

The End

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Clay Aiken - Sugar Pie Honey Bunch

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

lannamichaels

Is there anything you'll need? Tea? Whipped cream? Handcuffs?"

I see why you made me agree not to beg for more *before* letting me read it. :p Damn damn damn. I am now even more convinced of your evil-ness.

"Hm. Yet another reason for me to despise those people. Answer it anyway."

//giggle

At 5 o'clock in the morning, a very confused Viggo woke up to find a very aroused Sean on top of him, performing very very wicked acts.

Am I supposed to be coherant after reading that? //raises eyebrows, swoons

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FIC: A Most Unusual Interview, VM/SB, SB/Lucifer, PG

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