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rugbytackleThe Past Never Lets Go
By Alexa Bond 1/30/03
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real….you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set during the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B./Orli, light Sean B/Viggo and Orli/Elijah
Summary: Sean talks with Orli about how he feels but the past never lets go.
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: RPS
Series: Sequel to “Pride Is A 5 Letter Word For Pain”. Part 3 in “This Thing Called Love”.
Author’s notes: This series is getting a life of its own! Why does this always happen to me?
Thanks as always to Joelle for great beta!
Sean spotted Orli, now in full Legolas costume and makeup, standing on the set, waiting to be called. He caught himself smiling as he saw him; he looked so beautiful as he laughed at Dom and Billy’s fooling around. Then Sean's headache painfully reminded him of last night, and his smile disappeared. As Sean neared the younger man, he instinctively reached for him but then remembered, and let his arms fall down at his sides.
“Orli…can we talk?” his words seemed to ring in his ears. Orli turned around to face him. Sean thought, as he caught Elijah’s eyes for a moment, that they were a deeper ice blue than normal, but then it was gone and the young actor smiled and waved at him. Elijah’s smiles were always contagious and Sean found himself smiling back and waving at him.
“We have nothing to talk about,” Orli’s voice was strong, but Sean caught something in the depths of his lens-covered eyes. Holding on to that and Viggo’s encouraging words Sean didn’t back down.
“Okay…*I* have something to say, and I would like you to listen to me,” Sean tried again, not sure how to go about this. People were starting to look their way, but he knew he was being paranoid in thinking that they suspected anything. Orli seemed to have noticed that they were the focus of every bored crewmember as well, because he took Sean’s elbow and dragged him away from the set.
“Five minutes, Orlando,” someone yelled after him and Orli held up a hand.
“I’ll be there.”
Sean let Orli guide him behind one of the make-up trailers, away from prying eyes. Orli released his hold on Sean, and for the briefest moments Sean wondered if he would kiss him, but Orli crossed his arms over his chest in an old age gesture of self-protection.
“Then talk,” Orli asked, his voice not entirely unkind. Sean took a deep breath and ran a hand through his blond hair. His head was still pounding, and suddenly he regretted coming here. What had he been thinking? Oh, yeah…Viggo had somehow talked him into this. How could Viggo talk him into anything? He tried to remember his talk with his friend earlier, recall his words…why he was here. No pride, no barriers…wasn’t this worth it? To open up? Didn’t he deserve to give this relationship another chance? He had too many regrets already…he didn’t wish for this to be another.
“Orli…I…I won’t apologize for that happened last night,” he started, his green eyes looking into Orli’s fake blue ones. “I *do* love you and I can’t…I won’t take that back.” Sean noticed Orli’s eyes were flinching, trying to avoid his gaze. Sean remembered Viggo’s words and held on to them as he went on. “I don’t know what happened to you, who hurt you to make you act like this…or if maybe you simply don’t want this…I don’t know anything because you don’t tell me anything,” Sean shook his head in frustration. “I just wanted you to know that I can respect your limits…I can play by your rules…but talk to me,” there was no pleading in his eyes or his voice, just a need to know. This uncertainty was driving him mad. For a moment Sean thought Orli would crack, that he’d say something. His eyes wandered, his hands formed fists then relaxed again as his lips formed words.
“I…I,” Orli ran a hand through his hair only to find that he still had the blond wig on and stopped the movement mid air. He couldn’t tell, he couldn’t risk it…he just couldn’t. One time had been one too many; the wound he had gotten had left a scar which still hadn’t healed. Maybe it never would. He knew it hadn’t been Sean, knew he hadn’t been the one to cause him such pain. He knew it in his mind, but not in his heart. No, he couldn’t risk it. His eyes caught Sean’s again and his walls were as strong as ever. “I have nothing to say.”
“I think you do but you just don’t want to tell me,” Sean’s eyes narrowed. “Or can’t you tell me?” the last was softly spoken, his eyes inquiring. Orli shook his head and avoided Sean’s gaze.
“I won’t talk anymore about this. It’s over,” with that he practically ran away from Sean and back to the set. Sean took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. His head was pounding wildly and he closed his eyes briefly against the pain.
“Bloody hell,” he mumbled as he sought support against one of the trailers, closing his eyes. He found himself wishing he could take this entire morning back. As if things hadn’t been bad enough without adding humiliation to the list. Sean shook his head. He didn’t know what to do or how to react. A part of him wanted to follow Orli, but another just wanted to leave, runaway…hide. His mind was a mess of pain and confusion; a million thoughts ran through his head in under a second. What if Orli really felt nothing for him? This had all been for nothing. Why couldn’t he ever make his relationships work? Was there something wrong with him? Had he done something wrong? Was he just a fool being used here?
Sean opened his eyes again; a part of him hoping Orli would be standing before him but no such luck. Sean shook his head; of course he wouldn’t be there. Slowly Sean began to walk back towards his house. He didn’t have any shoots till later with Viggo. At the thought of his friend Sean smiled slightly. Viggo would know what to do; he could help. He was always there, always supportive. He would be able to give some good advice and Sean felt he needed not only that, but also the sense of…calmness and spirituality that Viggo seemed to wear around him like a cloak. He walked back towards his house, hoping Viggo would still be there, not noticing the sad and longing look that Orli sent after him.
The End
TBC in “We All Hide Something”.
By Alexa Bond 1/30/03
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real….you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set during the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B./Orli, light Sean B/Viggo and Orli/Elijah
Summary: Sean talks with Orli about how he feels but the past never lets go.
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: RPS
Series: Sequel to “Pride Is A 5 Letter Word For Pain”. Part 3 in “This Thing Called Love”.
Author’s notes: This series is getting a life of its own! Why does this always happen to me?
Thanks as always to Joelle for great beta!
Sean spotted Orli, now in full Legolas costume and makeup, standing on the set, waiting to be called. He caught himself smiling as he saw him; he looked so beautiful as he laughed at Dom and Billy’s fooling around. Then Sean's headache painfully reminded him of last night, and his smile disappeared. As Sean neared the younger man, he instinctively reached for him but then remembered, and let his arms fall down at his sides.
“Orli…can we talk?” his words seemed to ring in his ears. Orli turned around to face him. Sean thought, as he caught Elijah’s eyes for a moment, that they were a deeper ice blue than normal, but then it was gone and the young actor smiled and waved at him. Elijah’s smiles were always contagious and Sean found himself smiling back and waving at him.
“We have nothing to talk about,” Orli’s voice was strong, but Sean caught something in the depths of his lens-covered eyes. Holding on to that and Viggo’s encouraging words Sean didn’t back down.
“Okay…*I* have something to say, and I would like you to listen to me,” Sean tried again, not sure how to go about this. People were starting to look their way, but he knew he was being paranoid in thinking that they suspected anything. Orli seemed to have noticed that they were the focus of every bored crewmember as well, because he took Sean’s elbow and dragged him away from the set.
“Five minutes, Orlando,” someone yelled after him and Orli held up a hand.
“I’ll be there.”
Sean let Orli guide him behind one of the make-up trailers, away from prying eyes. Orli released his hold on Sean, and for the briefest moments Sean wondered if he would kiss him, but Orli crossed his arms over his chest in an old age gesture of self-protection.
“Then talk,” Orli asked, his voice not entirely unkind. Sean took a deep breath and ran a hand through his blond hair. His head was still pounding, and suddenly he regretted coming here. What had he been thinking? Oh, yeah…Viggo had somehow talked him into this. How could Viggo talk him into anything? He tried to remember his talk with his friend earlier, recall his words…why he was here. No pride, no barriers…wasn’t this worth it? To open up? Didn’t he deserve to give this relationship another chance? He had too many regrets already…he didn’t wish for this to be another.
“Orli…I…I won’t apologize for that happened last night,” he started, his green eyes looking into Orli’s fake blue ones. “I *do* love you and I can’t…I won’t take that back.” Sean noticed Orli’s eyes were flinching, trying to avoid his gaze. Sean remembered Viggo’s words and held on to them as he went on. “I don’t know what happened to you, who hurt you to make you act like this…or if maybe you simply don’t want this…I don’t know anything because you don’t tell me anything,” Sean shook his head in frustration. “I just wanted you to know that I can respect your limits…I can play by your rules…but talk to me,” there was no pleading in his eyes or his voice, just a need to know. This uncertainty was driving him mad. For a moment Sean thought Orli would crack, that he’d say something. His eyes wandered, his hands formed fists then relaxed again as his lips formed words.
“I…I,” Orli ran a hand through his hair only to find that he still had the blond wig on and stopped the movement mid air. He couldn’t tell, he couldn’t risk it…he just couldn’t. One time had been one too many; the wound he had gotten had left a scar which still hadn’t healed. Maybe it never would. He knew it hadn’t been Sean, knew he hadn’t been the one to cause him such pain. He knew it in his mind, but not in his heart. No, he couldn’t risk it. His eyes caught Sean’s again and his walls were as strong as ever. “I have nothing to say.”
“I think you do but you just don’t want to tell me,” Sean’s eyes narrowed. “Or can’t you tell me?” the last was softly spoken, his eyes inquiring. Orli shook his head and avoided Sean’s gaze.
“I won’t talk anymore about this. It’s over,” with that he practically ran away from Sean and back to the set. Sean took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. His head was pounding wildly and he closed his eyes briefly against the pain.
“Bloody hell,” he mumbled as he sought support against one of the trailers, closing his eyes. He found himself wishing he could take this entire morning back. As if things hadn’t been bad enough without adding humiliation to the list. Sean shook his head. He didn’t know what to do or how to react. A part of him wanted to follow Orli, but another just wanted to leave, runaway…hide. His mind was a mess of pain and confusion; a million thoughts ran through his head in under a second. What if Orli really felt nothing for him? This had all been for nothing. Why couldn’t he ever make his relationships work? Was there something wrong with him? Had he done something wrong? Was he just a fool being used here?
Sean opened his eyes again; a part of him hoping Orli would be standing before him but no such luck. Sean shook his head; of course he wouldn’t be there. Slowly Sean began to walk back towards his house. He didn’t have any shoots till later with Viggo. At the thought of his friend Sean smiled slightly. Viggo would know what to do; he could help. He was always there, always supportive. He would be able to give some good advice and Sean felt he needed not only that, but also the sense of…calmness and spirituality that Viggo seemed to wear around him like a cloak. He walked back towards his house, hoping Viggo would still be there, not noticing the sad and longing look that Orli sent after him.
The End
TBC in “We All Hide Something”.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 11:04 am (UTC)Ok, I totally want Orli and Sean together in the end. Viggo can have Karl, or Craig, or both for that matter.
Sorry, am just so loving this and so into it and I really really really want to know what is going on!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 02:05 am (UTC)*blushes* Thanks so much!
Ok, I totally want Orli and Sean together in the end. Viggo can have Karl, or Craig, or both for that matter.
*smiles warmly* But if Orli gets Sean...Vig will be sad...If Vig gets Sean then Orli will be sad...Love have this tendency to get messy ;)
Sorry, am just so loving this
*blushes and beams* Thanks so much. I'm happy and honoured to hear that.
and so into it and I really really really want to know what is going on!
*blushes* Thanks again.
More to come soon.
Thanks so much for your kind FB. It means the world to me.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 11:09 am (UTC)What's this?? I sooo want to know..
no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 02:06 am (UTC)What's this?? I sooo want to know..
*grins* You will...In the next part.
Thanks so much for your kind FB. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 11:23 am (UTC)It seems everybody has an opinion on who Sean should end up with.
I don,t really care as long as he gets a happy ending. But you are welcomed to torture poor Beany a bit more. Makes me want to curl around him and hide in a dark warm and comfy place for a decade or two :)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 02:09 am (UTC)*blushes* Thanks so much *hugs*
It seems everybody has an opinion on who Sean should end up with.
Yes. I will have to disapoint someone because Sean in my fics isn't to be shared...
I don,t really care as long as he gets a happy ending.
Thank you *hugs*
But you are welcomed to torture poor Beany a bit more.
Oh, I will *grins*
Makes me want to curl around him and hide in a dark warm and comfy place for a decade or two :)
*smiles warmly* Sounds like a great plan to me.
Thanks so much for your kind FB. It means the world to me *hugs and kisses*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 02:10 am (UTC)*grins* More about that in the next part...
And you are not the only one to have serieses getting a life of their own. Mine do also ;)
*smiles* Good to know I'm not alone in that.
Thanks so much for your kind FB. It means so much to me *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 01:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 02:12 am (UTC)Yes they do need some good loving.
Thanks so much for your kind FB *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 02:04 pm (UTC)and not merely tie of Sean and snog the living daylights out of him; Sean, completely oblivious (most definitely he has the lost puppy dog persona in parts :) ); and Orli; I like how you don't demonize the poor boy - he has reasons for the way he acts. Oh! I want them all to find love with someone. Maybe you could open up a whole knew OTP with Ian/Orli (errrr, or not . . . )*Wriggles, waiting impatiently.*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 02:14 am (UTC)*blushed* I'm happy and honoured to hear that.
And I like how you write everyone - Viggo, trying his best to be a good friend and not merely tie of Sean and snog the living daylights out of him; Sean, completely oblivious (most definitely he has the lost puppy dog persona in parts :) ); and Orli; I like how you don't demonize the poor boy - he has reasons for the way he acts.
*nods* He has indeed.
And thanks so much! *hugs*
Oh! I want them all to find love with someone. Maybe you could open up a whole knew OTP with Ian/Orli (errrr, or not . . . )
*Wriggles, waiting impatiently.*
*grins* I can promise you that Ian won't enter into this battle of love but other than that...I shall do my best *smiles*
Thanks so much for your kind words. They mean the world to me *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 04:00 pm (UTC)poor boys. hope it'll get better for them soon.
can't wait for the next part.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 02:16 am (UTC)*blushes* Thanks so much!
poor boys. hope it'll get better for them soon.
Wait and see...
can't wait for the next part
Thanks so much. it'll be out soon.
And thanks for your kind FB; it means the world to me *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-11 02:01 am (UTC)I soon hope that this will come to a happy ending. They're all hurting here... :((
Yes, sorry about that.
Anyway, I hope you finish this as soon as possible... :)
Working on it.
Not that I'm threatining. It's just that, I am so into this series...and uh...you should finish it....so there...no sense at all, didn't it?
Makes a lot of sense and I'm honoured and happy that you feel this way *hugs*
Please (100x) post it soon... withsugarwhipcreamandblueberryontop?????
*warm smile* How can I say no to that? It'll be out soon.
Thanks again for your kind FB. It means the world to me and keeps me writing.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 11:04 pm (UTC)*hugs Orli*
I soon hope that this will come to a happy ending. They're all hurting here... :((
Anyway, I hope you finish this as soon as possible... :) Not that I'm threatening. It's just that, I am so into this series...and uh...you should finish it, cause my dog can bite....so there...no sense at all, didn't it? :)
Please (100x) post it soon... withsugarwhipcreamandblueberryontop?????
*kisses you madly*
FOR GONDOR!