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rugbytackleWe All Hide Something
By Alexa Bond 1/30/03
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real…. you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set during the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B./Orli, Sean B/Viggo, EW/OB
Summary: Elijah speaks with Orli about Sean and promises to help his friend but maybe there’s more to it than that.
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: RPS
Series: Sequel to “The Past Never Lets Go”. Part 4 in “This Thing Called Love”.
Author’s notes: I thought it was about time I left Bean for a while and looked at things from another perspective…
Thanks as always to Joelle for great beta!
* * *
Elijah looked from Bean to Orli; saw the longing look in Orli’s eyes as Bean walked back towards his house. His heart stood still for a beat or two. Orli and Bean…he should have known it. Though maybe, judging from the way Bean had walked away there was still hope. It hadn’t seemed like a lovers union but like a farewell. As Elijah’s thoughts caught up with him he blushed. What was he thinking? Orli was his friend; he should try and help him, not plot ways to get what he wanted for himself.
“Why don’t you go speak to him?” a mild voice suggested in his ear.
“Sean!” Elijah turned to his friend and gave him a brief hug. He saw that Astin had just been finished in makeup. Sean smiled warmly at him.
“So?”
“So what?” Elijah played dumb, giving his best innocent smile and hoped Sean would let it go.
Sean sighed.
“Go talk with him,” he repeated. Elijah looked at Orli, he looked so beautiful and happy as he joked with Dom and Billy but something, Elijah couldn’t tell what, made him see a certain sadness over him as well.
“What shall I say?” Elijah asked softly, as so many times before seeking Sean’s advice. Sean was like the big brother he had never had, no matter what then Sean would always be there and help him…just like Sam always was there for Frodo.
“You’ll know when you get there,” Sean assured him and gave him a gentle push towards Orli.
“But…” Elijah protested.
“He’s the one you told me about, isn’t he? The cast member you’ve fallen in love with but believe will never look at you in that way?” Sean asked insightfully. Elijah didn’t even consider denying it.
“Yes but its no use. He’ll never see me like…like…” Elijah spread out his arms as he turned to Sean, fighting for the right word.
”A man?” Sean supplied helpfully.
“Yeah. To him I’m just this cute kid,” Elijah pouted. Sean smiled at him.
“You’re so…”
”Don’t you dare say I’m cute,” Elijah beat him to it but a smile was on his lips.
“You *are* cute…you can’t really change that,” Sean said mildly.
“But I don’t want that! I don’t want to be the cute, blue-eyed, wonder kid,” Elijah’s voice had risen and Sean shushed him to lower his voice.
“Do you think Orli’s beautiful?”
Elijah looked at his friend as if he had grown a second head or something, totally taken back by the sudden change in subject.
“Of course,” his voice showed his confusion at the question.
“Yes, everyone thinks that. I’ll also say he’s beautiful,” Sean said thoughtfully.
“So what?”
“So beautiful is generally a theme I, and most others, would only use for feminine beauty. A man can be handsome, but a woman is beautiful. Only Orlando *is* beautiful,” Sean explained. Elijah frowned, he had never thought of that before. “Maybe… maybe he’s not too fond of that label, just as you’re not of yours.”
Elijah was thoughtful.
“So you’re saying…”
“I’m saying you should go talk with him,” Sean insisted and turned Elijah around to face Orli, giving him a soft push towards him. This time Elijah found his feet taking him to Orli. Just before he reached the other man, he turned and smiled at Sean who smiled back before he called Billy and Dom to him, giving Orli and Elijah some privacy.
Orli turned to face Elijah who smiled at him, trying to find the right words to say.
“You all right?” he asked, real concern in his voice.
“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” Orli smiled, but it felt strained.
“I saw Beanie leave and I thought…” Elijah stopped at the murderous look in Orli’s eyes.
“He told you? About us? Even after I had told him not to? That bloody, stupid, idiotic, disloyal…”
Elijah raised a hand to get Orli’s attention as he felt the other man heading towards a full-blown speech.
”No, no. No one told me anything,” Elijah reassured him.
“Oh,” Orli looked down, his cheeks red as he embarrassed fumbled with his clothes, as if trying to straighten it, just so he wouldn't have to look into Elijah’s searching eyes.
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone,” Elijah reassured him, trying to fight the voice in his head that screamed for it all to be a lie, and that urged him to tell Orli how he felt and that he should forget Bean. “Things not going well between you two?” Elijah tried softly. Orli’s eyes flew up and he thought for a while whether or not to tell the truth. “Hey, you can tell me. It’s just me, Lij, I won’t tell anyone,” Elijah smiled charmingly and innocently. Orli smiled and stroked Elijah’s hair almost the same way Boromir would do as he gave the Ring to Frodo.
“Of course. You’re my mate, right? My kid brother?” Orli smiled at him and Elijah forced a smile. Yeah, brother. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he just nodded.
“Oh, Lij, be glad you’re so young…you don’t understand this…thank God,” Orli mumbled, a shadow falling over his eyes. Elijah wanted to scream that he wasn’t that young and that he *did* understand; better than Orli obviously thought he did.
“Beanie…broke up with you?” Elijah tried softly.
“No… I broke up with him,” Orli admitted and laughed humorlessly. “Kinda funny…I broke up with him to make sure he wouldn’t break up with me.”
“I don’t think that’s funny,” Elijah said lowly, his blue eyes intense.
“No…No, it isn’t,” Orli admitted and sighed. “It’s just not that simple, Elijah.”
“It’s not that simple because you choose not to make it so,” Elijah whispered, silently praying that Orli would look at him, truly look at him and see what he meant instead of what he said.
“Oh, Lij… it’s not like that. There are factors here that you don’t understand,” Orli insisted, his voice tortured.
“Does he love you?” Elijah asked, hoping the pain was out of his voice, but sure it must be obvious in his eyes so made sure to avoid eye contact with Orli.
“He says so…” Orli thought for a while. “No…I know he does,” he corrected himself.
“Do you…do you love him?” Elijah forced the words out.
“Don’t you only fear to lose the ones you love?” the words were light but his tone was serious. He loves him, Elijah thought and his heart sank. Well, why shouldn’t he? Bean was fun, gallant, experienced, a real gentleman when he wanted to be, yet really down to earth and easy to talk to; always present and very…British. The absurd thought came to his mind that maybe if he were more British, talked about soccer and pints and stuff like that, maybe Orli would look at him. He shook his head to clear it of such nonsense; things were the way they were…wishful thinking wouldn’t change that.
“You never told him, did you?” Elijah asked insightfully. Orli didn’t answer; he didn’t have to. Elijah began to understand it all now; Bean couldn’t read Orli, he needed the words. Orli couldn’t say the words, he was too wrapped up in a past hurt.
“It doesn’t matter now. It’s over,” Orli’s voice was sad.
“It doesn’t have to be,” Elijah found himself saying while his heart was screaming at him. No, he would do the right thing; he would be a good friend. Orli didn’t return his feelings; the least he could do was try and make Orli happy, even if it broke his heart.
“What do you mean?” There was hope in Orli’s voice.
“Everyone has a past. Everyone hides something,” I know I do, Elijah added silently. “Why do you fear Bean?”
“I don’t fear him,” Orli denied. “It’s not like that.”
”Then explain it,” Elijah saw the instant denial in Orli’s eyes and put on his most charming smile. “For me?”
“Can anyone say no to you?” Orli laughed and smiled at him. Obviously, you can, Elijah thought but said instead:
“Not so far.”
Orli’s smile faded as his thoughts returned to the question Elijah had asked him.
“Some years ago…a mate of mine…well, we were together and I thought everything was wonderful.”
”But?” Elijah pressed.
“I found he had used me,” Orli fisted his hands, his voice hard as stone. “He had never loved me, though he said ‘I love you’ constantly. I had given everything, done everything…and he fuckin’ betrayed me with a friend of ours!” Orli found his voice had risen and quickly lowered his voice, trying to regain control.
“And you never wanted to be used again,” Elijah thought out loud. So to avoid becoming the victim you became like the man you hate so much, Elijah thought sadly. Pain has a way of always hurting everyone around it, and so Orli’s pain had become Bean’s as he got punished for a crime he had never committed.
“Lij…this isn’t just going to go away, alright? This isn’t some fairytale. I…I *can’t* tell him, I can’t leave myself so vulnerable. Not again…never again,” Orli shook his head to emphasize his point.
“I understand,” Elijah nodded. He wanted to hug Orli, kiss him…do something to try and ease the pain, bitterness and sense of betrayal he felt coming off him in waves, but he did nothing. Instead, he just smiled at him. “If you want me to…I’ll help you get through this so you can be with Bean,” Elijah found himself saying, and in that moment, he knew he would have said anything if it would ease the pain he saw in Orli’s eyes. Orli smiled and hugged Elijah.
“You’re a good mate,” he said warmly. Elijah held Orli close and briefly shut his eyes, imagining for a moment that Orli was his to hold…then he had to open his eyes and let go…and return to a reality where his dreams were just that…dreams.
“Yeah…that’s me,” Elijah smiled at him as Orli drew away from him, wondering if he had totally lost his mind. He had just promised to help the man he loved be with another. That had got to be the craziest thing he had ever done. What would Orli say about him? What would he say if he knew he was helping someone he loved be with another? Oh, yeah… stupid bugger…yeah, that pretty much covered it. Stupid bugger who would do anything to ease the pain his beloved friend felt… even if it meant letting his dreams stay forever nothing more than dreams. Elijah shook his head. That truly was stupid…and love stuck.
The End
TBC in “Sometimes You Have To Let Go”.
Author’s notes: Don’t worry. We’ll return to Bean and Viggo in the next part but I figured it was about time someone else got to say a few words. Thanks for your understanding.
By Alexa Bond 1/30/03
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real…. you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set during the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B./Orli, Sean B/Viggo, EW/OB
Summary: Elijah speaks with Orli about Sean and promises to help his friend but maybe there’s more to it than that.
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: RPS
Series: Sequel to “The Past Never Lets Go”. Part 4 in “This Thing Called Love”.
Author’s notes: I thought it was about time I left Bean for a while and looked at things from another perspective…
Thanks as always to Joelle for great beta!
* * *
Elijah looked from Bean to Orli; saw the longing look in Orli’s eyes as Bean walked back towards his house. His heart stood still for a beat or two. Orli and Bean…he should have known it. Though maybe, judging from the way Bean had walked away there was still hope. It hadn’t seemed like a lovers union but like a farewell. As Elijah’s thoughts caught up with him he blushed. What was he thinking? Orli was his friend; he should try and help him, not plot ways to get what he wanted for himself.
“Why don’t you go speak to him?” a mild voice suggested in his ear.
“Sean!” Elijah turned to his friend and gave him a brief hug. He saw that Astin had just been finished in makeup. Sean smiled warmly at him.
“So?”
“So what?” Elijah played dumb, giving his best innocent smile and hoped Sean would let it go.
Sean sighed.
“Go talk with him,” he repeated. Elijah looked at Orli, he looked so beautiful and happy as he joked with Dom and Billy but something, Elijah couldn’t tell what, made him see a certain sadness over him as well.
“What shall I say?” Elijah asked softly, as so many times before seeking Sean’s advice. Sean was like the big brother he had never had, no matter what then Sean would always be there and help him…just like Sam always was there for Frodo.
“You’ll know when you get there,” Sean assured him and gave him a gentle push towards Orli.
“But…” Elijah protested.
“He’s the one you told me about, isn’t he? The cast member you’ve fallen in love with but believe will never look at you in that way?” Sean asked insightfully. Elijah didn’t even consider denying it.
“Yes but its no use. He’ll never see me like…like…” Elijah spread out his arms as he turned to Sean, fighting for the right word.
”A man?” Sean supplied helpfully.
“Yeah. To him I’m just this cute kid,” Elijah pouted. Sean smiled at him.
“You’re so…”
”Don’t you dare say I’m cute,” Elijah beat him to it but a smile was on his lips.
“You *are* cute…you can’t really change that,” Sean said mildly.
“But I don’t want that! I don’t want to be the cute, blue-eyed, wonder kid,” Elijah’s voice had risen and Sean shushed him to lower his voice.
“Do you think Orli’s beautiful?”
Elijah looked at his friend as if he had grown a second head or something, totally taken back by the sudden change in subject.
“Of course,” his voice showed his confusion at the question.
“Yes, everyone thinks that. I’ll also say he’s beautiful,” Sean said thoughtfully.
“So what?”
“So beautiful is generally a theme I, and most others, would only use for feminine beauty. A man can be handsome, but a woman is beautiful. Only Orlando *is* beautiful,” Sean explained. Elijah frowned, he had never thought of that before. “Maybe… maybe he’s not too fond of that label, just as you’re not of yours.”
Elijah was thoughtful.
“So you’re saying…”
“I’m saying you should go talk with him,” Sean insisted and turned Elijah around to face Orli, giving him a soft push towards him. This time Elijah found his feet taking him to Orli. Just before he reached the other man, he turned and smiled at Sean who smiled back before he called Billy and Dom to him, giving Orli and Elijah some privacy.
Orli turned to face Elijah who smiled at him, trying to find the right words to say.
“You all right?” he asked, real concern in his voice.
“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” Orli smiled, but it felt strained.
“I saw Beanie leave and I thought…” Elijah stopped at the murderous look in Orli’s eyes.
“He told you? About us? Even after I had told him not to? That bloody, stupid, idiotic, disloyal…”
Elijah raised a hand to get Orli’s attention as he felt the other man heading towards a full-blown speech.
”No, no. No one told me anything,” Elijah reassured him.
“Oh,” Orli looked down, his cheeks red as he embarrassed fumbled with his clothes, as if trying to straighten it, just so he wouldn't have to look into Elijah’s searching eyes.
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone,” Elijah reassured him, trying to fight the voice in his head that screamed for it all to be a lie, and that urged him to tell Orli how he felt and that he should forget Bean. “Things not going well between you two?” Elijah tried softly. Orli’s eyes flew up and he thought for a while whether or not to tell the truth. “Hey, you can tell me. It’s just me, Lij, I won’t tell anyone,” Elijah smiled charmingly and innocently. Orli smiled and stroked Elijah’s hair almost the same way Boromir would do as he gave the Ring to Frodo.
“Of course. You’re my mate, right? My kid brother?” Orli smiled at him and Elijah forced a smile. Yeah, brother. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he just nodded.
“Oh, Lij, be glad you’re so young…you don’t understand this…thank God,” Orli mumbled, a shadow falling over his eyes. Elijah wanted to scream that he wasn’t that young and that he *did* understand; better than Orli obviously thought he did.
“Beanie…broke up with you?” Elijah tried softly.
“No… I broke up with him,” Orli admitted and laughed humorlessly. “Kinda funny…I broke up with him to make sure he wouldn’t break up with me.”
“I don’t think that’s funny,” Elijah said lowly, his blue eyes intense.
“No…No, it isn’t,” Orli admitted and sighed. “It’s just not that simple, Elijah.”
“It’s not that simple because you choose not to make it so,” Elijah whispered, silently praying that Orli would look at him, truly look at him and see what he meant instead of what he said.
“Oh, Lij… it’s not like that. There are factors here that you don’t understand,” Orli insisted, his voice tortured.
“Does he love you?” Elijah asked, hoping the pain was out of his voice, but sure it must be obvious in his eyes so made sure to avoid eye contact with Orli.
“He says so…” Orli thought for a while. “No…I know he does,” he corrected himself.
“Do you…do you love him?” Elijah forced the words out.
“Don’t you only fear to lose the ones you love?” the words were light but his tone was serious. He loves him, Elijah thought and his heart sank. Well, why shouldn’t he? Bean was fun, gallant, experienced, a real gentleman when he wanted to be, yet really down to earth and easy to talk to; always present and very…British. The absurd thought came to his mind that maybe if he were more British, talked about soccer and pints and stuff like that, maybe Orli would look at him. He shook his head to clear it of such nonsense; things were the way they were…wishful thinking wouldn’t change that.
“You never told him, did you?” Elijah asked insightfully. Orli didn’t answer; he didn’t have to. Elijah began to understand it all now; Bean couldn’t read Orli, he needed the words. Orli couldn’t say the words, he was too wrapped up in a past hurt.
“It doesn’t matter now. It’s over,” Orli’s voice was sad.
“It doesn’t have to be,” Elijah found himself saying while his heart was screaming at him. No, he would do the right thing; he would be a good friend. Orli didn’t return his feelings; the least he could do was try and make Orli happy, even if it broke his heart.
“What do you mean?” There was hope in Orli’s voice.
“Everyone has a past. Everyone hides something,” I know I do, Elijah added silently. “Why do you fear Bean?”
“I don’t fear him,” Orli denied. “It’s not like that.”
”Then explain it,” Elijah saw the instant denial in Orli’s eyes and put on his most charming smile. “For me?”
“Can anyone say no to you?” Orli laughed and smiled at him. Obviously, you can, Elijah thought but said instead:
“Not so far.”
Orli’s smile faded as his thoughts returned to the question Elijah had asked him.
“Some years ago…a mate of mine…well, we were together and I thought everything was wonderful.”
”But?” Elijah pressed.
“I found he had used me,” Orli fisted his hands, his voice hard as stone. “He had never loved me, though he said ‘I love you’ constantly. I had given everything, done everything…and he fuckin’ betrayed me with a friend of ours!” Orli found his voice had risen and quickly lowered his voice, trying to regain control.
“And you never wanted to be used again,” Elijah thought out loud. So to avoid becoming the victim you became like the man you hate so much, Elijah thought sadly. Pain has a way of always hurting everyone around it, and so Orli’s pain had become Bean’s as he got punished for a crime he had never committed.
“Lij…this isn’t just going to go away, alright? This isn’t some fairytale. I…I *can’t* tell him, I can’t leave myself so vulnerable. Not again…never again,” Orli shook his head to emphasize his point.
“I understand,” Elijah nodded. He wanted to hug Orli, kiss him…do something to try and ease the pain, bitterness and sense of betrayal he felt coming off him in waves, but he did nothing. Instead, he just smiled at him. “If you want me to…I’ll help you get through this so you can be with Bean,” Elijah found himself saying, and in that moment, he knew he would have said anything if it would ease the pain he saw in Orli’s eyes. Orli smiled and hugged Elijah.
“You’re a good mate,” he said warmly. Elijah held Orli close and briefly shut his eyes, imagining for a moment that Orli was his to hold…then he had to open his eyes and let go…and return to a reality where his dreams were just that…dreams.
“Yeah…that’s me,” Elijah smiled at him as Orli drew away from him, wondering if he had totally lost his mind. He had just promised to help the man he loved be with another. That had got to be the craziest thing he had ever done. What would Orli say about him? What would he say if he knew he was helping someone he loved be with another? Oh, yeah… stupid bugger…yeah, that pretty much covered it. Stupid bugger who would do anything to ease the pain his beloved friend felt… even if it meant letting his dreams stay forever nothing more than dreams. Elijah shook his head. That truly was stupid…and love stuck.
The End
TBC in “Sometimes You Have To Let Go”.
Author’s notes: Don’t worry. We’ll return to Bean and Viggo in the next part but I figured it was about time someone else got to say a few words. Thanks for your understanding.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-11 08:49 pm (UTC)seriously, I like that you took the time away from Vig and Bean to present the others involved. They usually tend to show up with deliver a line or two to help the two main players get together and I appreciate that you have taken the time to render them more deeply. You also render render a very beleivable Orli ( ok, so I have no clue as Orlando Bloom, but a very beleivable human being ) makes me almost forgive him for having made Bean unhappy.
*resumes waiting for happy!bean*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-12 01:43 am (UTC)*smiles* We'll get there.
seriously, I like that you took the time away from Vig and Bean to present the others involved.
Thanks so much! That means a lot to hear.
They usually tend to show up with deliver a line or two to help the two main players get together and I appreciate that you have taken the time to render them more deeply. You also render render a very beleivable Orli ( ok, so I have no clue as Orlando Bloom, but a very beleivable human being ) makes me almost forgive him for having made Bean unhappy.
*smiles* Thanks so much, lov.
*resumes waiting for happy!bean*
Working on that one...
Thanks again for your kind words. They mean the world to me and keeps me writing.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-11 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-12 01:47 am (UTC)Well, Elijah wants it too and he is very convincing...
Not that I'm not loving this fic. Totally am.
Thanks so much *hugs*
Just. Want. OrliBean. (Yeah, I'm picky, what can I say? *g*).
If I give you OrliBean then the VigBean fans will eat me alive...Viggo or Orli...Who shall Bean get? No matter which one then someone will end up unhappy and some readers will be disappointed...Oh, I hate hard decisions...
Anyway, hope you post more soon.
Will do my best.
Thanks so much for your kind words. They mean the world to me and keeps me writing. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-12 10:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-13 04:56 am (UTC)*LOL* True...Only one problem...I don't do threesomes...
no subject
Date: 2004-04-13 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-14 03:00 am (UTC)*grins* Sorry, lov but I just can't get myself to write threesomes. I don't mind reading them but...*shrugs* Sorry.
Hmmm.. Maybe they could both have him, just not at once. Like a time share... *beams*
*LOL* Brilliant idea. I like it ;)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-14 11:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-11 10:10 pm (UTC)I both love orlijah and vigbean....hehehe...
and please post the vigbean soon!!!
FOR GONDOR!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-12 01:50 am (UTC)*smiles* Sorry.
I both love orlijah and vigbean....hehehe...
Thanks so much! It means a lot to know that I have at least one reader who like those pairings.
and please post the vigbean soon!!!
Working on it as we speak. It should be out soon.
Thanks as always for your kind FB. It means the world to me and keeps me writing. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-13 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-14 02:58 am (UTC)Thanks so much! *hugs*
*sits back, waits for Viggo to get a move on* *gets stick ready in case he needs (light) poking* ;) *hugs*
*grins* He might.
Thanks so much for your kind FB. It means the world to me.