Cornball story for the football challenge
Apr. 23rd, 2004 11:12 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sairalinde.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleTitle: The Morning After
Author: Sairalinde with co-conspiritor Glorfindel
Type: RPS / FPS?
Pairing: Aragorn/Boromir uh? Viggo/Sean B.
Rating: PG-13
Beta: Glorfindel
Warning: It's filled with REALLY bad humor. I apoligise in advance.
Disclaimer: This never happened...this is total fiction spurred on by a chain smoking chocolate eating bunny that lives in my purse. Viggo, and Sean are real people but we make no claims on them. This was written in fun that's all.
Feedback: Yes please send to sairalinde@hornofgondor.com
Archiving: If you want it…it’s a weird one.
Summary/Notes: A.U. --Boromir (still alive after the War of the Ring)-- is very upset about a substitution being made.
(Written for the Rugbytackle football challenge. Most who know me know I don’t really write Fictional Person Slash or Het. This is a WEIRD bunny that hopped over from Fin’s bin and bit me on the arse. I am SO sorry to any and all who read this—definitely a bit warped!)
---------------------------------------------------------------
“Welcome to Middle Earth Coliseum for today’s match between the Gondorian Blades and the Mirkwood Spiders! We hope you will all enjoy the match.” The announcer stated. “And now if you will all please rise as the royal entourage of Gondor is seated.”
The crowd cheers as King Aragorn with Queen Arwen on his arm enters first followed closely by Boromir the King’s Steward escorting his sister-in-law Lady Éowyn, and their special guests Gimli and Legolas who made a special trip from Mirkwood for the occasion.
As they take their seats the coliseum announcer states, “There has been a last minute substitution made on the Mirkwood team. Number 01 King Thranduil had important business to attend to today, he will be replaced by Gandalf the White.”
“Oh no.” Boromir gasped as he looked over at Legolas who just smiled at the steward.
“He really did have business to attend to.” Legolas stated when he realized Boromir really was perplexed by the substitution.
“Yes, but my BROTHER is out there…and well I like Gandalf and all but the old wizard tends to use underhanded tactics sometimes.” Boromir grumbled.
Aragorn laughed, “You mean he cheats.”
“No…not cheats. Just uses magic as an unfair advantage.” Legolas defended.
Boromir scowled and shook his head then turned his attention back to the field. He HAD been looking forward to this all month, especially for Faramir’s sake, but now he was worried that the Blades were going to be beaten by just one player.
The game began, and for the first few minutes nothing out of the ordinary transpired and Boromir thought perhaps Gandalf was playing fair. Thranduil wasn’t a wizard so he won’t use magic in his stead.
Well that line of thinking didn’t last long.
Boromir was on the edge of his seat and cheering as he saw his brother racing across the field after the loose ball. Éomer was close on his heels, one of them were sure to score with it. As the two approached the ball suddenly it transformed into a small puppy with big sad brown eyes.
Faramir came to a sudden stop and Éomer plowed into the back of him and the two went tumbling to the ground.
Gandalf raced in front of them with his robes hiked up around his knees (sporting what looked like new shoes for the occasion) and just as suddenly as before, the puppy turned back into a ball. The old wizard raced down the field grinning from ear to ear with robes flapping in the breeze; displaying more of his bony legs than any cared to see, and kicked the ball straight into the goal. The goalie was in shock as the ball sailed past.
“What was that???” Éomer asked helping his teammate up.
“I have no idea.”, replied Faramir.
In the stands, Boromir leapt to his feet. “He can’t do that!”
“Seems he just did.” Aragorn stated with a grin.
“But that’s…that’s…” Boromir struggled.
“Cheating?” Legolas asked and Gimli shook his head in agreement as did Éowyn who was concerned about her husband being plowed to the ground by her brother.
“Yes…no…he can’t do that!” Boromir snapped his face turning a bright shade of red. “Oi! You there…hey…are you BLIND???” Boromir screamed at the referee.
Aragorn shook his head and smiled at Arwen he then turned his attention back to his steward who was a bit high strung sometimes. “Boromir…calm down.” Aragorn said patiently.
“I will not! He can’t DO that!” Boromir protested vehemently.
“I will not ask you again. Now sit down, and at least TRY to behave like a civilized human being.” Aragorn scolded.
“I won’t. Not until they throw Gandalf off the field.” Boromir spat sounding much like a spoiled child.
Aragorn sighed heavily. “Then you leave me no choice. I will have the guards remove you from the stadium.”
“My own men?” Boromir squeaked and Aragorn thought for a moment he had won without having to resort to any heavy handed tactics. Then he saw the fire in Boromir’s eyes and knew this was going to go badly.
“They wouldn’t dare…YOU wouldn’t dare!” Boromir spat angrily.
Aragorn merely raised an eyebrow and waved his hand in the air. Immediately Boromir was grabbed from behind by two large guards and carried off still protesting loudly the entire way.
-----------
Sean sat up straight in bed. “What the hell? Oh Christ! My head hurts….God what did I drink last night?”
Sean rubbed his face with his hands and blinked a few times. “What a weird fucking dream.”
In the murky gloom of morning he could vaguely see the lump lying next to him on the bed which moved slightly and murmured something.
“What the? Who the hell?” Sean muttered looking over at the sleeping form. He realized then it was Viggo. Shite. Why are we in the same bed? He wondered to himself for a moment. Then suddenly he looked down at himself. Naked. Should have known that somehow. His head wasn’t the only thing sore either he began to discover. Shite.
Reality wasn’t shaping up much better than the dream had. He should have known better than to let the hobbits mix his drinks for him, but what was Viggo’s excuse? He was the designated driver.
Sean reached over and turned on the lamp and saw Viggo was naked as well. “Oh bloody hell…we did. Didn’t we? I don’t remember…shite. I need a drink!”
The End.
Author: Sairalinde with co-conspiritor Glorfindel
Type: RPS / FPS?
Pairing: Aragorn/Boromir uh? Viggo/Sean B.
Rating: PG-13
Beta: Glorfindel
Warning: It's filled with REALLY bad humor. I apoligise in advance.
Disclaimer: This never happened...this is total fiction spurred on by a chain smoking chocolate eating bunny that lives in my purse. Viggo, and Sean are real people but we make no claims on them. This was written in fun that's all.
Feedback: Yes please send to sairalinde@hornofgondor.com
Archiving: If you want it…it’s a weird one.
Summary/Notes: A.U. --Boromir (still alive after the War of the Ring)-- is very upset about a substitution being made.
(Written for the Rugbytackle football challenge. Most who know me know I don’t really write Fictional Person Slash or Het. This is a WEIRD bunny that hopped over from Fin’s bin and bit me on the arse. I am SO sorry to any and all who read this—definitely a bit warped!)
---------------------------------------------------------------
“Welcome to Middle Earth Coliseum for today’s match between the Gondorian Blades and the Mirkwood Spiders! We hope you will all enjoy the match.” The announcer stated. “And now if you will all please rise as the royal entourage of Gondor is seated.”
The crowd cheers as King Aragorn with Queen Arwen on his arm enters first followed closely by Boromir the King’s Steward escorting his sister-in-law Lady Éowyn, and their special guests Gimli and Legolas who made a special trip from Mirkwood for the occasion.
As they take their seats the coliseum announcer states, “There has been a last minute substitution made on the Mirkwood team. Number 01 King Thranduil had important business to attend to today, he will be replaced by Gandalf the White.”
“Oh no.” Boromir gasped as he looked over at Legolas who just smiled at the steward.
“He really did have business to attend to.” Legolas stated when he realized Boromir really was perplexed by the substitution.
“Yes, but my BROTHER is out there…and well I like Gandalf and all but the old wizard tends to use underhanded tactics sometimes.” Boromir grumbled.
Aragorn laughed, “You mean he cheats.”
“No…not cheats. Just uses magic as an unfair advantage.” Legolas defended.
Boromir scowled and shook his head then turned his attention back to the field. He HAD been looking forward to this all month, especially for Faramir’s sake, but now he was worried that the Blades were going to be beaten by just one player.
The game began, and for the first few minutes nothing out of the ordinary transpired and Boromir thought perhaps Gandalf was playing fair. Thranduil wasn’t a wizard so he won’t use magic in his stead.
Well that line of thinking didn’t last long.
Boromir was on the edge of his seat and cheering as he saw his brother racing across the field after the loose ball. Éomer was close on his heels, one of them were sure to score with it. As the two approached the ball suddenly it transformed into a small puppy with big sad brown eyes.
Faramir came to a sudden stop and Éomer plowed into the back of him and the two went tumbling to the ground.
Gandalf raced in front of them with his robes hiked up around his knees (sporting what looked like new shoes for the occasion) and just as suddenly as before, the puppy turned back into a ball. The old wizard raced down the field grinning from ear to ear with robes flapping in the breeze; displaying more of his bony legs than any cared to see, and kicked the ball straight into the goal. The goalie was in shock as the ball sailed past.
“What was that???” Éomer asked helping his teammate up.
“I have no idea.”, replied Faramir.
In the stands, Boromir leapt to his feet. “He can’t do that!”
“Seems he just did.” Aragorn stated with a grin.
“But that’s…that’s…” Boromir struggled.
“Cheating?” Legolas asked and Gimli shook his head in agreement as did Éowyn who was concerned about her husband being plowed to the ground by her brother.
“Yes…no…he can’t do that!” Boromir snapped his face turning a bright shade of red. “Oi! You there…hey…are you BLIND???” Boromir screamed at the referee.
Aragorn shook his head and smiled at Arwen he then turned his attention back to his steward who was a bit high strung sometimes. “Boromir…calm down.” Aragorn said patiently.
“I will not! He can’t DO that!” Boromir protested vehemently.
“I will not ask you again. Now sit down, and at least TRY to behave like a civilized human being.” Aragorn scolded.
“I won’t. Not until they throw Gandalf off the field.” Boromir spat sounding much like a spoiled child.
Aragorn sighed heavily. “Then you leave me no choice. I will have the guards remove you from the stadium.”
“My own men?” Boromir squeaked and Aragorn thought for a moment he had won without having to resort to any heavy handed tactics. Then he saw the fire in Boromir’s eyes and knew this was going to go badly.
“They wouldn’t dare…YOU wouldn’t dare!” Boromir spat angrily.
Aragorn merely raised an eyebrow and waved his hand in the air. Immediately Boromir was grabbed from behind by two large guards and carried off still protesting loudly the entire way.
-----------
Sean sat up straight in bed. “What the hell? Oh Christ! My head hurts….God what did I drink last night?”
Sean rubbed his face with his hands and blinked a few times. “What a weird fucking dream.”
In the murky gloom of morning he could vaguely see the lump lying next to him on the bed which moved slightly and murmured something.
“What the? Who the hell?” Sean muttered looking over at the sleeping form. He realized then it was Viggo. Shite. Why are we in the same bed? He wondered to himself for a moment. Then suddenly he looked down at himself. Naked. Should have known that somehow. His head wasn’t the only thing sore either he began to discover. Shite.
Reality wasn’t shaping up much better than the dream had. He should have known better than to let the hobbits mix his drinks for him, but what was Viggo’s excuse? He was the designated driver.
Sean reached over and turned on the lamp and saw Viggo was naked as well. “Oh bloody hell…we did. Didn’t we? I don’t remember…shite. I need a drink!”
The End.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 09:34 pm (UTC)Oh, that was *priceless*! Of course, you *do* realize that this demands a sequel... *poke poke poke* Sequel!! *poke poke poke*
*grin* *breaks out into giggles again*
~Kris
no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 10:32 pm (UTC)you *do* realize that this demands a sequel
I have NO idea what I would follow this up with! Maybe if more comes to me I'll give it a shot. Would be funny to hear him trying to explain his dream to Viggo though. hehe
no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 10:32 pm (UTC)Sean's right, though -- he should definitely know better than to let the hobbits mix his drinks!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 10:53 pm (UTC)hahaha glad you liked it! :) I was cracking up writing the Gandalf part...just imagining Ian with his Gandalf robes hiked up around his knees running like that, I was rolling writing that part.
Everyone should have a weird bunny bite them once in a while I guess.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 11:57 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for rising to the challenge! ;-)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 12:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 04:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 07:58 am (UTC)Sorry...didn't intend bodily injury! hehe So glad it gave you a few laughs though...I laughed writing it.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 05:49 am (UTC)OMG!!
Too good!!!
Yay!
and I second the pokeing from above - sequel?????
hehehe
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 07:55 am (UTC)Glad it made you laugh! I laughed writing it!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 08:44 am (UTC)i loved it! :D
no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 12:11 pm (UTC)hehehe Thanks! Glad you liked it! :)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 09:08 pm (UTC)Second, everything everyone else said, especially Gandalf.
Third, Viggo, you dog! You got Sean drunk and had your wicked way with him? Sean doesn't seem to mind, though.
Too funny! Thanks so much.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 12:14 pm (UTC)That's the only way I like my Boromir's :) hehehe
Sean doesn't seem to mind, though.
Hehehe well he didn't seem to mind at the time...but that sequel...hmmm getting an itch...*cracks knuckles and hovers over keyboard*
no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 04:03 am (UTC)No, no football rant.
Lovely fic.
Lyds.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 12:16 pm (UTC)Awww sorry sweetie! Glad you liked the story though. Trust me I've seen my husband in enough football fits to write 10 more pages of Boromir having a fit. :) hehe We have a very low ceiling and I have a very tall husband...last year he hit his head jumping up and down thought he might have cracked the plaster! haha
no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 10:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 12:17 pm (UTC)And the ending so tantalizing... You can't just leave it there!
Hmmm I am considering a bit more. ;)