![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
alexabond.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleEasing The Pain
By Alexa Bond 4/9/04
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real….you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set during the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B./Orli, SB/VM, Orli/Elijah
Summary: Elijah helps Orli get over his past hurt but at what cost?
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Warnings: RPS
Series: Sequel to “No More Waiting”. Part 8 in “This Thing Called Love”.
Author’s notes: Thanks much to Piex for beta. *hugs*
* * *
Elijah felt like hitting his head on the table. What had he done?
These last couple of months had strained Elijah’s emotions to their limits. Sean Astin had been there for him and had suggested he tell Orlando how he felt but Elijah hadn’t been able to do that. Orli needed a friend and Elijah had promised that was what he would be for him, even if it took everything in him to hold all his emotions inside.
Though Dom and Billy had commented on the fact that he had seemed closer to Orli, no one else suspected the secret pact they had made. Well, no one but Sean who knew both what had happened and what Elijah wished had happened.
Elijah had spent many evenings talking with Orli, getting to know him in a way he was sure no one else had. Orli freely told of his past and his emotions, about his role in relationships. He told him how he had been in a relationship with a friend of his for five years. Openly affectionate, they were out to everyone around them. Orli had loved his partner and told him so and in return he had been assured of the same. Suddenly Orli’s world had crashed when he had found his lover and a mutual friend of theirs in bed together, their bed no less. He had started to doubt everything. Had he been played for all those years? The sympathy from his friends was almost too much. After the pain had died out he had been left with a cold void. He had vowed never again to feel that weak, never again to leave himself open to hurt -- and he hadn’t. He’d had many affairs since then but his heart had been carefully guarded. He had made up a list of rules that everyone he had ever been with had been more than happy to accept since he or they always left before anything serious happened. To promise never to say I love you and not to tell anyone of the relationship was more a relief than anything else to his partners. Well, until Bean had come along.
Needing someone, falling faster than Orli had been able to catch him those words ‘I love you’ had passed Bean’s lips. Once he had loved those words but now all Orli saw whenever someone said them was the face of his betraying lover.
Slowly, together with Elijah, Orli realized why he had acted the way he had and Elijah helped him get over the past. Step by step, Orli let go of what had gone before. They both knew it wouldn’t be that easy, that some things -- like the instinct to leave when a relationship became serious or the fear of saying those words which could be used against you -- would always be there but they were still making progress. Orli had suggested that to erase the bad emotions he felt when he heard the words ‘I love you’ he and Elijah could practice together. They were good friends… They could say ‘I love you’ to each other. Elijah had smiled as always and readily agreed to anything to help his friend but inside he had been dying. It had been torture to hear and say those special words, knowing that Orli did not mean them the same way that Elijah did. However it worked in the regard that now Orli began to see that he did wish to be with someone who loved him and could say it -- but he still had trouble saying the words himself.
Despite the closeness Elijah felt with Orli a cold hand always clutched his heart because he knew he was doing all this so Orli could return to Bean. Not a pleasant thought at all. He fought to keep his emotions under control but sometimes it was hard for him not to feel jealous of Bean for all Orli was willing to do to try and make things work. Orli had to love him a lot and that thought was even worse to think about. Still, he would do as he had promised and help Orli. If Bean were the one Orli wanted, the one he would do all this for… Then so be it. Even if it killed him, he would see his friend happy.
However now that Orli had felt he was strong enough to try again Elijah found he wasn’t ready for Orli to renew his relationship with Bean. He had tried to make Orli stay, wait a bit longer. There were still many things they hadn’t debated. Yes, Orli had thrown away his mental list of rules and he now wanted to hear the words ‘I love you’ but he still couldn’t say it and he still wasn’t sure if he would want his relationships to be public, nor did he know if he would want to keep any relationship forever. His first instinct when people got too close was still to flee. However as Orli had said to him then, time was running short. Bean would leave soon and on top of that, he seemed to spend a lot of time with Viggo. No, Orli had decided that tonight was his chance to reclaim what he had lost. Though Elijah’s heart was breaking he had still managed to smile and wish him luck, though as soon as he was on his way towards Bean, Elijah had to fight to keep his fear, anger and pain at bay. He might have been able to ease Orli’s pain but he felt like he had just destroyed himself in the process.
The End
TBC in “Things Were Too Good To Last”.
Author’s notes:
Viggo and Sean will return in the next chapter. Thanks for your patience.
By Alexa Bond 4/9/04
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real….you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set during the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B./Orli, SB/VM, Orli/Elijah
Summary: Elijah helps Orli get over his past hurt but at what cost?
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Warnings: RPS
Series: Sequel to “No More Waiting”. Part 8 in “This Thing Called Love”.
Author’s notes: Thanks much to Piex for beta. *hugs*
* * *
Elijah felt like hitting his head on the table. What had he done?
These last couple of months had strained Elijah’s emotions to their limits. Sean Astin had been there for him and had suggested he tell Orlando how he felt but Elijah hadn’t been able to do that. Orli needed a friend and Elijah had promised that was what he would be for him, even if it took everything in him to hold all his emotions inside.
Though Dom and Billy had commented on the fact that he had seemed closer to Orli, no one else suspected the secret pact they had made. Well, no one but Sean who knew both what had happened and what Elijah wished had happened.
Elijah had spent many evenings talking with Orli, getting to know him in a way he was sure no one else had. Orli freely told of his past and his emotions, about his role in relationships. He told him how he had been in a relationship with a friend of his for five years. Openly affectionate, they were out to everyone around them. Orli had loved his partner and told him so and in return he had been assured of the same. Suddenly Orli’s world had crashed when he had found his lover and a mutual friend of theirs in bed together, their bed no less. He had started to doubt everything. Had he been played for all those years? The sympathy from his friends was almost too much. After the pain had died out he had been left with a cold void. He had vowed never again to feel that weak, never again to leave himself open to hurt -- and he hadn’t. He’d had many affairs since then but his heart had been carefully guarded. He had made up a list of rules that everyone he had ever been with had been more than happy to accept since he or they always left before anything serious happened. To promise never to say I love you and not to tell anyone of the relationship was more a relief than anything else to his partners. Well, until Bean had come along.
Needing someone, falling faster than Orli had been able to catch him those words ‘I love you’ had passed Bean’s lips. Once he had loved those words but now all Orli saw whenever someone said them was the face of his betraying lover.
Slowly, together with Elijah, Orli realized why he had acted the way he had and Elijah helped him get over the past. Step by step, Orli let go of what had gone before. They both knew it wouldn’t be that easy, that some things -- like the instinct to leave when a relationship became serious or the fear of saying those words which could be used against you -- would always be there but they were still making progress. Orli had suggested that to erase the bad emotions he felt when he heard the words ‘I love you’ he and Elijah could practice together. They were good friends… They could say ‘I love you’ to each other. Elijah had smiled as always and readily agreed to anything to help his friend but inside he had been dying. It had been torture to hear and say those special words, knowing that Orli did not mean them the same way that Elijah did. However it worked in the regard that now Orli began to see that he did wish to be with someone who loved him and could say it -- but he still had trouble saying the words himself.
Despite the closeness Elijah felt with Orli a cold hand always clutched his heart because he knew he was doing all this so Orli could return to Bean. Not a pleasant thought at all. He fought to keep his emotions under control but sometimes it was hard for him not to feel jealous of Bean for all Orli was willing to do to try and make things work. Orli had to love him a lot and that thought was even worse to think about. Still, he would do as he had promised and help Orli. If Bean were the one Orli wanted, the one he would do all this for… Then so be it. Even if it killed him, he would see his friend happy.
However now that Orli had felt he was strong enough to try again Elijah found he wasn’t ready for Orli to renew his relationship with Bean. He had tried to make Orli stay, wait a bit longer. There were still many things they hadn’t debated. Yes, Orli had thrown away his mental list of rules and he now wanted to hear the words ‘I love you’ but he still couldn’t say it and he still wasn’t sure if he would want his relationships to be public, nor did he know if he would want to keep any relationship forever. His first instinct when people got too close was still to flee. However as Orli had said to him then, time was running short. Bean would leave soon and on top of that, he seemed to spend a lot of time with Viggo. No, Orli had decided that tonight was his chance to reclaim what he had lost. Though Elijah’s heart was breaking he had still managed to smile and wish him luck, though as soon as he was on his way towards Bean, Elijah had to fight to keep his fear, anger and pain at bay. He might have been able to ease Orli’s pain but he felt like he had just destroyed himself in the process.
The End
TBC in “Things Were Too Good To Last”.
Author’s notes:
Viggo and Sean will return in the next chapter. Thanks for your patience.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-05-04 08:26 am (UTC)Now, I've gotten the impression that this story is heading for Sean and Viggo being together, and perhaps Orlando and Elijah. That's fine. But if Orlando gets a replay of what his previous lover did to him, he's either going to crack, or duck right back through that tiny hole in his emotional wall he and Elijah just excavated, and patch it back up with adamantium and never come out again. That would be... painful. [wince] Great story, mind you, but still painful. :/
Angie, looking out for the next chunk
no subject
Date: 2004-05-07 01:26 am (UTC)Yes, that would be...unlucky. *EG*
Now, I've gotten the impression that this story is heading for Sean and Viggo being together, and perhaps Orlando and Elijah. That's fine. But if Orlando gets a replay of what his previous lover did to him, he's either going to crack, or duck right back through that tiny hole in his emotional wall he and Elijah just excavated, and patch it back up with adamantium and never come out again. That would be... painful.
Yes, it would but don't worry...I will try to make all my 'play things' happy...a kind of happy anyway. *smiles*
[wince] Great story, mind you, but still painful. :/
Thanks so much, lov.
Thanks again for your great FB. You keep me writing and I'll have the next part out soon *warm embrace*