![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
alexabond.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleThe Most Bittersweet Of My Loves
By Alexa Bond 1/30/03
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real….you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set years after the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B/Viggo, mention of Sean B./Orli, EW/OB and BB/DM.
Summary: Sean talks with Orli again at his and Viggo’s ceremony.
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Warnings: RPS. The beginning of this story will talk about politics and same-sex marriage. If these subjects upset you then read no further. I do not wish to start a political debate so you can consider this fair warning.
Series: Sequel to "Forever Is In Your Eyes". Part 16 in "This Thing Called Love".
Thanks much to Piex for beta. *hugs*
* * *
"Damn bloody thing," Sean cursed as he stood before the full mirror in the bedroom he shared with Viggo, trying to tie his tie. Normally it wasn’t this difficult but for some reason his hands were shaking today. Okay, he knew why he was nervous. All other commitments of forever he had made had ended badly; he didn’t want this one to end at all.
No, Sean shook his head. He wouldn’t let this relationship fall apart.
After he had agreed to stay with Viggo forever they had talked about having a ceremony to make it official. Sean had not really seen the point in it, as it was still illegal for homosexual couples to get married in most countries, an injustice Sean hadn’t given much thought before now. Viggo had really burned for the idea of a ceremony all the same, so Sean had finally agreed.
He had seen the irony in his situation. He had been together with Viggo for longer than any of his marriages had lasted yet when they had decided that they wanted a commitment that would tie them together forever they had been faced with the cruel reality of unjust laws. Viggo and him had talked about moving to Canada or Europe and get married a place where their marriage would be recognized as just as sacred as any heterosexual marriage and thus would agree that their love was just as real and true as a love between a man and a woman. Viggo, who had always been a free spirited and freedom loving man, had decided to fight for equal rights and Sean had agreed to help him even though his view on humanity was much more pessimistic than Viggo’s. The human race had always feared what they did not understand and what they feared they destroyed. Through the ages minority groups had always been targets for persecution and segregation. Once it had been Jews, then the African Americans and now it was the homosexual community. Sean was not sure if it was possible to take this last escape goat away from the people and promote a world free from any prejudice. To this day, sadly, prejudice in regard to sexuality was still widely accepted and though Sean and Viggo had found many Americans who felt that the laws presently in place were unfair it was sadly still so that conservative politicians ruled America. These politicians did their best to purge the country for any and all people who did not think like they did, using scare tactics and an Middle Aged version of Christianity to try and prevent the people from reaching a rational and logical conclusion. There was no doubt in either Viggo’s or his own mind that given the chance to reach this logical conclusion the only conclusion people could draw would be that the prejudice against homosexuals were the same and just as wrong as what had been done against the Jews during WW2 and towards the African Americans before the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. No doubt both their careers would suffer from their decision to hold a marriage ceremony but neither of them wished to back out now. They would not be intimidated into settling for less. Not now when they had both realized that they wished to spend the rest of their lives together. However they had decided that if not their marriage was recognized by the American state as equal to any other marriage within ten years time they would move, probably to Europe because so many of their friends were there. Over there they could get married and live a place where it would be recognized as this had been the whole idea of getting married in the first place; to confirm to each other and to the world that they belonged together forever. Besides, Sean had to admit that he missed England even though he visited several times a year and Viggo had expressed a wish to maybe live a few years in Denmark.
They had arranged for the ceremony to take place here at Viggo’s ranch on a sunny summer day. Viggo had been very into arranging everything and it was also he who had known the Native American Holy Man who would conduct their ceremony. Everything would be held outside on the beautiful lawn. Viggo’s latest interest in both his writing and artwork was Native American culture so he had tried to make a theme out of it, culminating with their bonding here today.
"You need some help there?" Billy grinned at him from the door to Sean and Viggo’s bedroom where he was still trying to get finished dressing, interrupting Sean’s thoughts. Viggo had been up and ready since five in the morning and was now doing last minute checkups, almost making Sean dizzy with his enthusiasm though he had to admit he had looked very much forth to this day as well even if their marriage would not be recognized.
"Yeah," Sean admitted and gave up on his futile fight with his tie. Billy came to him and began to bind the tie for him. Sean couldn’t help but smile; it was nice being with Billy again. It had been a little over a year since most of the Lord of the Rings cast had been gathered. That time it had been for David’s wedding to his longtime girlfriend.
"Like that," Billy stepped back and admired his handiwork. Sean corrected the knot a bit and turned away from the mirror to face Billy.
"Thanks."
"No problem," Billy smiled and went to the door. Remembering why he had gone to Sean in the first place he turned around to face him again. "By the way, Daragh is about ready to kill Vig. He keeps changing the way he want the ceremony done and as your best man..." Billy trailed off, a smile playing over his lips at the arguments Viggo had with one of Sean’s best friends. They were actually kind of amusing to watch.
"I know, I know. Vig is just a bit nervous; he wants it to be just perfect. Can’t you take Daragh to the living room? The buffet is there," Sean added, trying to persuade him.
"Any haggis?" Billy laughed as he asked. Sean made a face.
"You could have warned me before I tried it," Sean complained good naturally, remembering that Billy and Dom had held a party for their friends to celebrate their five years together and had among other things served haggis. Dom’s idea of course, as Billy hated the stuff as much as Sean did.
"Now, what would be the fun in that?" Billy pouted. Sean grinned.
"Get out of here before Dom gets jealous," Sean grinned at him and Billy disappeared. A smile still on his face, he turned to the bed and picked up his tuxedo jacket, turning around as he put it on.
"Hey Sean," a well-known voice spoke into his ear, startling him.
"Orli."
Sean followed the younger man with his eyes as Orli came around him to stand before him. He looked breathtakingly beautiful. His hair was as curly as ever, his eyes those same deep chocolate brown eyes one could so easily get lost in.
Sean took a deep breath, suddenly very aware that he was standing in a bedroom. A flood of memories of their time together came back to him and he felt his cheeks flush hot. This was insane. It was just nerves because of the ceremony, Sean told himself sternly. He hoped his reaction went unnoticed by Orli -- but of course it didn’t. Smiling, Orli moved closer and put his arms around Sean’s neck, smiling up into his green eyes.
"Tell me," his voice was a low and sexy whisper in Sean’s ear. It took all of Sean’s willpower not to move his arms and embrace Orli. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you stayed with me?"
"Yes," Sean admitted, cursing silently as he heard how low his voice had become.
"And?" Orli pressed. Sean briefly closed his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control. Orli’s nearness was a distraction to say the least -- but then he always had been. They had become the closest of friends over the years but a special bond had kept them as just a little bit more. Their concern for each other would be deeper than for other friends, their love stronger and their casual touches would linger just a bit too long. Reopening his eyes, Sean got control of his body’s reaction at least somewhat. He was proud of himself that his arms were still along his sides and not around Orli, pressing him closer. After all these years he still desired him…he still loved him – and it was still a bittersweet kind of love.
"And if I had stayed with you this day would never have come. We both know that. Commitment isn’t you," Sean answered honestly.
"Maybe I could have learned," Orli tried, and Sean saw the pain flash in his eyes and felt a similar pang in his own heart.
"Not with me, Orli. You were killing me," he admitted softly, a hand going to stroke the younger man’s cheek. Orli leaned into the touch, his own hand covering Sean’s and for a moment he closed his eyes. When he reopened them tears glimmered in them.
"I loved you," he whispered softly, and Sean felt tears begin to form in his own eyes as well. How long he had waited to hear those words and now when he did hear them they were a curse as much as a blessing.
"Once I would have given anything at all to hear you say that," Sean whispered, and meant it.
"But it’s too late now, isn’t it?" Orli asked, trying to force a smile on his lips but not quite succeeding. Sean thought about it, about what he had, and what he could have had. Then he nodded, his voice strong and sure.
"Yes."
Orli smiled at him, but it was a smile filled with sadness.
"I guess the best man won then," he said softly before he pressed his lips to Sean’s in a quick and final kiss. Then he stepped back from Sean, creating some distance between them.
"Orli…" Sean stopped, not sure what to say but wanting to ease the pain he read in the other man’s eyes. Normally, Orli looked so happy and carefree; it was a rare thing for him to admit to feeling anything but energy and joy.
"It’s alright," Orli shook his head, and when his eyes returned to focus on Sean more of his devil-may-care mask had fallen back into place. For a moment there was silence between them, neither knowing what to say or do. Then Orli smiled one last time at him and turned to go.
"Had I stayed with you… would that finally have made you happy?" Sean asked after him, needing to know. As Sean’s life had taken a turn for the better with Viggo, he had been forced to stand at the sidelines and watch as Orli’s seemed to fall apart. Not professionally; he had become the superstar the whole crew had always known he would become, but in his private life... Sean had hoped Orli would find happiness and had thought he could find it in Lij, who obviously loved and cared for him deeply. But things hadn’t worked out that way. Orli had broken up with Lij at least five times in their first year together, and they had had an on-off relationship ever since. Both of them had other relationships in between, though it was mostly Orli who -- according to the press -- had a new lady love practically every week. Right now it was off, as far as Sean knew but that changed quickly. Lij had often visited Viggo and him at Viggo’s ranch after Orli had walked away again. The only good thing about it was that they had never publicly admitted to a relationship so the young man could somewhat avoid nosy questions. With time, both Viggo and he had come to love Lij as a baby brother or son. Sean was perhaps more sympathetic than Viggo as he understood why Lij kept taking Orli back, why he couldn’t make himself demand anything in return. He also had some idea as to why Orli kept running from the best thing that had ever happened to him. Sometimes people who had been burnt were afraid to take a chance and they would rather keep a dream alive then go for reality and find it could not live up to the dream. It did not excuse the pain he gave Lij every time he went away but it did explain it and love had this tendency to never be pain-free.
Viggo was all for love but had made his view on things clear when he had told Lij that he thought maybe it was about time to give up and move on. Sometimes even the best loves did not work out. But Lij couldn’t give up and Sean understood. Had it not been for Vig, he doubted he could have done it himself. It was hard to explain and he wasn’t even sure he understood it himself, but Orli had always and still did hold this magical glow around him. He was a contradiction in himself; so carefree yet with pain shining deep in his eyes.
"No," Orli finally admitted, having given Sean’s question serious thought. For some reason that answer made Sean feel better. Orli turned to leave again.
"Orli," he called again and Orli turned back to face him. Sean spread out his hands, not sure what to say. "I still love you. A part of me will always love you."
Orli smiled a somewhat bittersweet smile at him.
"But you’re happy now?" In his voice Sean recognized his own wish to keep his former lover safe and happy. Sean smiled warmly at the mere thought of Viggo and nodded.
"Yes. Yes, I’m happy now."
Orli smiled again.
"Good."
"Orli… If you love Lij -- and I think you do -- don’t wait till it’s too late to tell him how you feel like you did with me. He would never hurt you," Sean’s voice was certain and sure. Orli opened his mouth to say something but Sean overruled him, not wanting him to make a comment which could somehow ruin it all. "And remember, you’re my best man, together with Daragh," Sean reminded him, hoping to reassure him that he was all right with the past between them.
"Thanks." Sean wasn’t sure if Orli thanked him for his advice with Lij, for being his best man or for the unspoken acceptance of what had been between them. There was silence again. Then Orli spoke again. "I better go find Henry. He’s standing for his dad and I have a feeling he’s more into the ‘Viggo zone’ about how to do this than I am." His voice was light and teasing, his face showing nothing but playfulness and warmth… very Orli.
"You do that," Sean mumbled at him but Orli was already out the door. Sean looked after him for a long time, lost in thought.
"Sean, dear boy. Hurry up already," Ian called at him from the door and Nick greeted him over Ian’s shoulder. Nick, Ian’s partner of several years, was much younger than Ian was and as handsome as they came. Like Karl and Viggo he had artistic talents and interests and the three of them would often talk art together.
"Coming," Sean pulled himself together and went out the door, closing the door to his and Viggo’s bedroom.
"This is going to be a great ceremony. Almost as big as Nick’s and my own on Hawaii," Ian smiled and laid an arm around Sean’s shoulders. Sean smiled back; sure that Ian had sensed his mood and was trying to cheer him up.
"You two had a great ceremony," Sean agreed, but added. "But Viggo will still outdo you."
"You only say that because you love him," Nick complained with a grin.
"Well... of course," Sean teased, allowing his friends to lighten his mood. He had been brooding enough lately. Out of his three daughters, his youngest, hadn’t wanted to come, which had hurt him deeply though Viggo had done his best to try and cheer him up. However, all his friends from the Lord of the Rings filming had arrived, as well as some other friends and family members on both Viggo’s and Sean’s side. And that didn’t even cover Daragh, John and others of the men he had gotten so close with when he had filmed Sharpe.
"I heard Vig say John would sing after your ceremony," Nick said as the laughter between them died.
"Yes," Sean confirmed, smiling at the thought. John had a beautiful voice. He was also from Sean’s native Sheffield, and his singing was heavily accented because of it, which in Sean’s eyes made his singing even better.
"John can sing?!" Ian asked confused. Nick and Sean grinned at him.
"You’re so cute when you’re confused," Nick teased and gave Ian a quick kiss.
"Not that John. My friend from when I filmed Sharpe," Sean explained and Ian nodded his understanding.
"Of course," Ian said with a very Gandalf-like dignity. The group reached the doors to outside and Sean saw Viggo standing in the garden, talking with the Native American who would conduct the ceremony. It was as if Viggo sensed him because he turned around and smiled at Sean, waving him to come closer. Sean’s spirits immediately lifted and he went to Viggo and embraced him, his lips finding the older man’s as they shared a deep and loving kiss.
"This is going to be a beautiful ceremony," Sean said as he broke away from Viggo’s lips and smiled at him. Viggo looked so handsome standing in the sunlight, the sun playing with his medium length hair -- but the love and happiness Sean found shinning in his eyes was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It gave Sean a contented feeling inside, making him feel at home in Viggo’s arms no matter where in the world they might be.
"It sure will," Viggo agreed and smiled as well.
The End
TBC in "You Gave Me The World".
By Alexa Bond 1/30/03
Disclaimer: This never happened unless I have psychic powers and can change the past, present and future. Any likeness to real characters is all in your mind, nothing more. This is fiction, made up, never happened, not real….you want that in other languages as well? *LOL*
I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money off it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set years after the filming of LOTR.
Universe: LOTR RPS
Romance: Sean B/Viggo, mention of Sean B./Orli, EW/OB and BB/DM.
Summary: Sean talks with Orli again at his and Viggo’s ceremony.
Archiving: List archive and Green Opals [http://greenopals.50megs.com/] may take it; others please ask.
Feedback: Yes, please. If you want me to continue writing that is *G*. My e-mail address is alexabond2000@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Warnings: RPS. The beginning of this story will talk about politics and same-sex marriage. If these subjects upset you then read no further. I do not wish to start a political debate so you can consider this fair warning.
Series: Sequel to "Forever Is In Your Eyes". Part 16 in "This Thing Called Love".
Thanks much to Piex for beta. *hugs*
* * *
"Damn bloody thing," Sean cursed as he stood before the full mirror in the bedroom he shared with Viggo, trying to tie his tie. Normally it wasn’t this difficult but for some reason his hands were shaking today. Okay, he knew why he was nervous. All other commitments of forever he had made had ended badly; he didn’t want this one to end at all.
No, Sean shook his head. He wouldn’t let this relationship fall apart.
After he had agreed to stay with Viggo forever they had talked about having a ceremony to make it official. Sean had not really seen the point in it, as it was still illegal for homosexual couples to get married in most countries, an injustice Sean hadn’t given much thought before now. Viggo had really burned for the idea of a ceremony all the same, so Sean had finally agreed.
He had seen the irony in his situation. He had been together with Viggo for longer than any of his marriages had lasted yet when they had decided that they wanted a commitment that would tie them together forever they had been faced with the cruel reality of unjust laws. Viggo and him had talked about moving to Canada or Europe and get married a place where their marriage would be recognized as just as sacred as any heterosexual marriage and thus would agree that their love was just as real and true as a love between a man and a woman. Viggo, who had always been a free spirited and freedom loving man, had decided to fight for equal rights and Sean had agreed to help him even though his view on humanity was much more pessimistic than Viggo’s. The human race had always feared what they did not understand and what they feared they destroyed. Through the ages minority groups had always been targets for persecution and segregation. Once it had been Jews, then the African Americans and now it was the homosexual community. Sean was not sure if it was possible to take this last escape goat away from the people and promote a world free from any prejudice. To this day, sadly, prejudice in regard to sexuality was still widely accepted and though Sean and Viggo had found many Americans who felt that the laws presently in place were unfair it was sadly still so that conservative politicians ruled America. These politicians did their best to purge the country for any and all people who did not think like they did, using scare tactics and an Middle Aged version of Christianity to try and prevent the people from reaching a rational and logical conclusion. There was no doubt in either Viggo’s or his own mind that given the chance to reach this logical conclusion the only conclusion people could draw would be that the prejudice against homosexuals were the same and just as wrong as what had been done against the Jews during WW2 and towards the African Americans before the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. No doubt both their careers would suffer from their decision to hold a marriage ceremony but neither of them wished to back out now. They would not be intimidated into settling for less. Not now when they had both realized that they wished to spend the rest of their lives together. However they had decided that if not their marriage was recognized by the American state as equal to any other marriage within ten years time they would move, probably to Europe because so many of their friends were there. Over there they could get married and live a place where it would be recognized as this had been the whole idea of getting married in the first place; to confirm to each other and to the world that they belonged together forever. Besides, Sean had to admit that he missed England even though he visited several times a year and Viggo had expressed a wish to maybe live a few years in Denmark.
They had arranged for the ceremony to take place here at Viggo’s ranch on a sunny summer day. Viggo had been very into arranging everything and it was also he who had known the Native American Holy Man who would conduct their ceremony. Everything would be held outside on the beautiful lawn. Viggo’s latest interest in both his writing and artwork was Native American culture so he had tried to make a theme out of it, culminating with their bonding here today.
"You need some help there?" Billy grinned at him from the door to Sean and Viggo’s bedroom where he was still trying to get finished dressing, interrupting Sean’s thoughts. Viggo had been up and ready since five in the morning and was now doing last minute checkups, almost making Sean dizzy with his enthusiasm though he had to admit he had looked very much forth to this day as well even if their marriage would not be recognized.
"Yeah," Sean admitted and gave up on his futile fight with his tie. Billy came to him and began to bind the tie for him. Sean couldn’t help but smile; it was nice being with Billy again. It had been a little over a year since most of the Lord of the Rings cast had been gathered. That time it had been for David’s wedding to his longtime girlfriend.
"Like that," Billy stepped back and admired his handiwork. Sean corrected the knot a bit and turned away from the mirror to face Billy.
"Thanks."
"No problem," Billy smiled and went to the door. Remembering why he had gone to Sean in the first place he turned around to face him again. "By the way, Daragh is about ready to kill Vig. He keeps changing the way he want the ceremony done and as your best man..." Billy trailed off, a smile playing over his lips at the arguments Viggo had with one of Sean’s best friends. They were actually kind of amusing to watch.
"I know, I know. Vig is just a bit nervous; he wants it to be just perfect. Can’t you take Daragh to the living room? The buffet is there," Sean added, trying to persuade him.
"Any haggis?" Billy laughed as he asked. Sean made a face.
"You could have warned me before I tried it," Sean complained good naturally, remembering that Billy and Dom had held a party for their friends to celebrate their five years together and had among other things served haggis. Dom’s idea of course, as Billy hated the stuff as much as Sean did.
"Now, what would be the fun in that?" Billy pouted. Sean grinned.
"Get out of here before Dom gets jealous," Sean grinned at him and Billy disappeared. A smile still on his face, he turned to the bed and picked up his tuxedo jacket, turning around as he put it on.
"Hey Sean," a well-known voice spoke into his ear, startling him.
"Orli."
Sean followed the younger man with his eyes as Orli came around him to stand before him. He looked breathtakingly beautiful. His hair was as curly as ever, his eyes those same deep chocolate brown eyes one could so easily get lost in.
Sean took a deep breath, suddenly very aware that he was standing in a bedroom. A flood of memories of their time together came back to him and he felt his cheeks flush hot. This was insane. It was just nerves because of the ceremony, Sean told himself sternly. He hoped his reaction went unnoticed by Orli -- but of course it didn’t. Smiling, Orli moved closer and put his arms around Sean’s neck, smiling up into his green eyes.
"Tell me," his voice was a low and sexy whisper in Sean’s ear. It took all of Sean’s willpower not to move his arms and embrace Orli. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you stayed with me?"
"Yes," Sean admitted, cursing silently as he heard how low his voice had become.
"And?" Orli pressed. Sean briefly closed his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control. Orli’s nearness was a distraction to say the least -- but then he always had been. They had become the closest of friends over the years but a special bond had kept them as just a little bit more. Their concern for each other would be deeper than for other friends, their love stronger and their casual touches would linger just a bit too long. Reopening his eyes, Sean got control of his body’s reaction at least somewhat. He was proud of himself that his arms were still along his sides and not around Orli, pressing him closer. After all these years he still desired him…he still loved him – and it was still a bittersweet kind of love.
"And if I had stayed with you this day would never have come. We both know that. Commitment isn’t you," Sean answered honestly.
"Maybe I could have learned," Orli tried, and Sean saw the pain flash in his eyes and felt a similar pang in his own heart.
"Not with me, Orli. You were killing me," he admitted softly, a hand going to stroke the younger man’s cheek. Orli leaned into the touch, his own hand covering Sean’s and for a moment he closed his eyes. When he reopened them tears glimmered in them.
"I loved you," he whispered softly, and Sean felt tears begin to form in his own eyes as well. How long he had waited to hear those words and now when he did hear them they were a curse as much as a blessing.
"Once I would have given anything at all to hear you say that," Sean whispered, and meant it.
"But it’s too late now, isn’t it?" Orli asked, trying to force a smile on his lips but not quite succeeding. Sean thought about it, about what he had, and what he could have had. Then he nodded, his voice strong and sure.
"Yes."
Orli smiled at him, but it was a smile filled with sadness.
"I guess the best man won then," he said softly before he pressed his lips to Sean’s in a quick and final kiss. Then he stepped back from Sean, creating some distance between them.
"Orli…" Sean stopped, not sure what to say but wanting to ease the pain he read in the other man’s eyes. Normally, Orli looked so happy and carefree; it was a rare thing for him to admit to feeling anything but energy and joy.
"It’s alright," Orli shook his head, and when his eyes returned to focus on Sean more of his devil-may-care mask had fallen back into place. For a moment there was silence between them, neither knowing what to say or do. Then Orli smiled one last time at him and turned to go.
"Had I stayed with you… would that finally have made you happy?" Sean asked after him, needing to know. As Sean’s life had taken a turn for the better with Viggo, he had been forced to stand at the sidelines and watch as Orli’s seemed to fall apart. Not professionally; he had become the superstar the whole crew had always known he would become, but in his private life... Sean had hoped Orli would find happiness and had thought he could find it in Lij, who obviously loved and cared for him deeply. But things hadn’t worked out that way. Orli had broken up with Lij at least five times in their first year together, and they had had an on-off relationship ever since. Both of them had other relationships in between, though it was mostly Orli who -- according to the press -- had a new lady love practically every week. Right now it was off, as far as Sean knew but that changed quickly. Lij had often visited Viggo and him at Viggo’s ranch after Orli had walked away again. The only good thing about it was that they had never publicly admitted to a relationship so the young man could somewhat avoid nosy questions. With time, both Viggo and he had come to love Lij as a baby brother or son. Sean was perhaps more sympathetic than Viggo as he understood why Lij kept taking Orli back, why he couldn’t make himself demand anything in return. He also had some idea as to why Orli kept running from the best thing that had ever happened to him. Sometimes people who had been burnt were afraid to take a chance and they would rather keep a dream alive then go for reality and find it could not live up to the dream. It did not excuse the pain he gave Lij every time he went away but it did explain it and love had this tendency to never be pain-free.
Viggo was all for love but had made his view on things clear when he had told Lij that he thought maybe it was about time to give up and move on. Sometimes even the best loves did not work out. But Lij couldn’t give up and Sean understood. Had it not been for Vig, he doubted he could have done it himself. It was hard to explain and he wasn’t even sure he understood it himself, but Orli had always and still did hold this magical glow around him. He was a contradiction in himself; so carefree yet with pain shining deep in his eyes.
"No," Orli finally admitted, having given Sean’s question serious thought. For some reason that answer made Sean feel better. Orli turned to leave again.
"Orli," he called again and Orli turned back to face him. Sean spread out his hands, not sure what to say. "I still love you. A part of me will always love you."
Orli smiled a somewhat bittersweet smile at him.
"But you’re happy now?" In his voice Sean recognized his own wish to keep his former lover safe and happy. Sean smiled warmly at the mere thought of Viggo and nodded.
"Yes. Yes, I’m happy now."
Orli smiled again.
"Good."
"Orli… If you love Lij -- and I think you do -- don’t wait till it’s too late to tell him how you feel like you did with me. He would never hurt you," Sean’s voice was certain and sure. Orli opened his mouth to say something but Sean overruled him, not wanting him to make a comment which could somehow ruin it all. "And remember, you’re my best man, together with Daragh," Sean reminded him, hoping to reassure him that he was all right with the past between them.
"Thanks." Sean wasn’t sure if Orli thanked him for his advice with Lij, for being his best man or for the unspoken acceptance of what had been between them. There was silence again. Then Orli spoke again. "I better go find Henry. He’s standing for his dad and I have a feeling he’s more into the ‘Viggo zone’ about how to do this than I am." His voice was light and teasing, his face showing nothing but playfulness and warmth… very Orli.
"You do that," Sean mumbled at him but Orli was already out the door. Sean looked after him for a long time, lost in thought.
"Sean, dear boy. Hurry up already," Ian called at him from the door and Nick greeted him over Ian’s shoulder. Nick, Ian’s partner of several years, was much younger than Ian was and as handsome as they came. Like Karl and Viggo he had artistic talents and interests and the three of them would often talk art together.
"Coming," Sean pulled himself together and went out the door, closing the door to his and Viggo’s bedroom.
"This is going to be a great ceremony. Almost as big as Nick’s and my own on Hawaii," Ian smiled and laid an arm around Sean’s shoulders. Sean smiled back; sure that Ian had sensed his mood and was trying to cheer him up.
"You two had a great ceremony," Sean agreed, but added. "But Viggo will still outdo you."
"You only say that because you love him," Nick complained with a grin.
"Well... of course," Sean teased, allowing his friends to lighten his mood. He had been brooding enough lately. Out of his three daughters, his youngest, hadn’t wanted to come, which had hurt him deeply though Viggo had done his best to try and cheer him up. However, all his friends from the Lord of the Rings filming had arrived, as well as some other friends and family members on both Viggo’s and Sean’s side. And that didn’t even cover Daragh, John and others of the men he had gotten so close with when he had filmed Sharpe.
"I heard Vig say John would sing after your ceremony," Nick said as the laughter between them died.
"Yes," Sean confirmed, smiling at the thought. John had a beautiful voice. He was also from Sean’s native Sheffield, and his singing was heavily accented because of it, which in Sean’s eyes made his singing even better.
"John can sing?!" Ian asked confused. Nick and Sean grinned at him.
"You’re so cute when you’re confused," Nick teased and gave Ian a quick kiss.
"Not that John. My friend from when I filmed Sharpe," Sean explained and Ian nodded his understanding.
"Of course," Ian said with a very Gandalf-like dignity. The group reached the doors to outside and Sean saw Viggo standing in the garden, talking with the Native American who would conduct the ceremony. It was as if Viggo sensed him because he turned around and smiled at Sean, waving him to come closer. Sean’s spirits immediately lifted and he went to Viggo and embraced him, his lips finding the older man’s as they shared a deep and loving kiss.
"This is going to be a beautiful ceremony," Sean said as he broke away from Viggo’s lips and smiled at him. Viggo looked so handsome standing in the sunlight, the sun playing with his medium length hair -- but the love and happiness Sean found shinning in his eyes was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It gave Sean a contented feeling inside, making him feel at home in Viggo’s arms no matter where in the world they might be.
"It sure will," Viggo agreed and smiled as well.
The End
TBC in "You Gave Me The World".
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-08-06 10:20 pm (UTC)*blushes* Thanks so much.
So happy to see this chapter posted. Thank you honey. =)
My pleasure. Thank you for the great FB. You keep me writing and turned a hard work day into a wonderful day. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-06 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-06 10:30 pm (UTC)*warm smile* Aren't we all? Thanks so much for your kind FB *hugs and kisses*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-07 04:00 am (UTC)This fic was lovely ... I found myself smiling soppily (a lot).
"It gave Sean a contented feeling inside, making him feel at home in Viggo’s arms no matter where in the world they might be." *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-07 07:48 am (UTC)Thanks so much. I was afraid some people might take offence so your kind words means the world to me.
This fic was lovely ... I found myself smiling soppily (a lot).
"It gave Sean a contented feeling inside, making him feel at home in Viggo’s arms no matter where in the world they might be." *sigh*
I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed it and I'm glad to see which sentences you liked a lot.
Thanks again for your kind FB; it means the world to me. *hugs and kisses*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-07 11:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-07 01:27 pm (UTC)*blushes and beams* As always your kind words means the world to me and keeps me writing.
I'm so sorry that RL has kept me from FB'ing and mailing you as I should have. I hope you're doing well and I hope you're enjoying your summer. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-09 12:34 pm (UTC)*blows kisses*
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 07:43 am (UTC)Of course I don't mind...Just remember to send it to my assistents on GO as well.
but it's so much easier and I need feedback to survive.
*blows kisses*
Don't we all?
Take care, sweetheart *hugs*