rugbytackle | (no subject)

Finally tricked my f*ing Internet Explorer to let me log in here. *kicks it for a good measure*
But now-me being ill with a f*ing cold and bittersweet heartache for a golden fallen angel- i got nothing new to post here. So I rummaged through my files and found my first Vig/ Bean fic ever. I wrote it over a year ago. *coughs violently enough to scare muses away again*

TITLE: "Nebel" -Fog
AUTHOR: Sadness1986
RATING: PG-13
WARNING: character death
PAIRING: SB/VM
SUMMARY: Song-fiction. Sean's love is dying in his arms.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.
DISCLAIMER: It's fiction. I really don't know, what their relationship is
like. But you can always wonder, watch and dream... ^_^°
ARCHIVE: x-posted at Greenopals
THANKS: to alexa, love you, it's dedicated to you.
NOTES: It's a song by "Rammstein", a bittersweet ballad of love and
death, Itranslated it, changed the "she" to "he" and owe nothing but the tears
Ispilled for it. The Lyrics are written LIKE THIS.
My first Vig/Bean fic ever. Just rediscovered it tonight. *gets nostalgic*

THEY ARE STANDING WITH THEIR ARMS ENCIRCLING EACH OTHERon a stony
South-English beach, listening to the powerful rushing of the sea.
Glittering with the
last rays of sunlight, it's just a reflection of sky's blue, constantly
licking the shore with foamy tongues, uncaring of the MIX OF FLESH,
RICH OF DAYS,
staring out to the horizon, unable to meet each other's gaze, just
standing
there.

WHERE THE SEA TOUCHES THE LAND at the shore of the end, end of despair
and
fear.

Sea-wind whispers lies to Viggo's greyed temples, to the sharpness of
his
once that prominent cheekbones, once called chiseled beautiful, now
mocking his
hollow cheeks, his weary deep-set eyes. Long strands of dark hair touch
the
skin-covered bones gently, soothing forgotten pain careless hands
brought to
them 'cause of forgotten promises.

Facing his fading beauty, Sean almost can't bear it. Then Viggo's
silent
lips move like for the first time, HE WANTS TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH. BUT
HIS WORDS
ARE EATEN BY THE WIND WHERE THE SEA ENDS and his hands, slender,
talented
artist hands, once strong and gentle, now limp and weak HOLDING HIS
HANDS,
TREMBLING.
There's so much separating them: said and unsaid words, lies and
pleads,
untold confessions of love. They had parted and found each other again
in the
depths of sleepless nights, tending their broken hearts. Viggo tries a
smile,
arranging his lips in a display of a forced shadow of it and HE HAD
KISSED HIS
FOREHEAD.

They had waited for nightfall and everything is crystal-clear in the
darkness of once radiating blue eyes, now grey but full of knowledge.
Viggo is aware
of it, HE CARRIES EVENING IN HIS CHEST AND KNOWS: THAT HE'LL FADE like
the
fog, when the first rays of sunlight will touch the landscape again,
embracing
it gently, filling it, making it beautiful - sunlight had ever been
like
Sean. Again there is love speaking from his sad eyes, dying blue flames
in the
surrounding blackness, in his silent gestures, slow and careful. Regret
fills
his weak heart, regret for all the things he said in rage, for all the
things
he hid in shame.

So they're sliding down on the stones and HE LIES HIS HEAD ONTO HIS
LAP,
already knowing that strands of his hair will immediately be caught in
a gentle
embrace by Sean's fingers, smelling of smoke and himself, he closes his
eyes
imaging, what it would look like, dark, pliable strands sliding over
golden-tanned skin. The other hand hesitantly lies down on his chest,
feather-light
heaviness of an exhausted bird taking a rest after fluttering in
gestures of
a long speech. Now tiredly listening to his heartbeat, searching warmth
and
shelter of his body for the last time.

Watching a smile creeping onto the fading beauty's lips, mild and
ethereal,
holy, that vision's trembling hand brushes his cheek tenderly, feather
light
AND PLEADS FOR A LAST KISS.

AND THEN HE HAD KISSED HIM WHERE THE SEA ENDS, rose-petal-softness. No
greed, no egoistic craving - his beloved hates so much - this time.
Just
gentleness and goodbye to HIS LIPS SO WEAK AND PALE, unreal, almost
gone like the
passionate but gentle soul shining from those cloudy-blue eyes. Sean
sighs into
the kiss, drawing back without deepening it, the metaphor of
penetrating those
moist, hot depths unfitting for the innocence of that moment.

He leaves Viggo's limp form sprawled over his lap, panting. No words,
no
more words again. They're the origin of all misunderstandings, he had
never been
good with them and his sweet poet just created mysteries when he opened
his
pretty mouth.

Sean remembers times, when those lips were curving into a bright smile,
revealing a slightly irregular set of white teeth. An image so unreal
suddenly.
When did Viggo smile like this last time? HE CANT REMEMBER ANYMORE AND
HIS
EYES ARE BECOMING WET.

And when has been the last time they had shared a kiss? Sean watches
cloud-shadows mirrored in the grey-blue depths of the silent man's
eyes, his hand
hears his heartbeat slowing down, but he world keeps turning, paying no
mind to
it's dying child in Sean's arms.

They had lost and found each other again to say goodbye, to be
separated by
eternity even more than they had been by their words.

There's nothing anymore his fingertips could listen to, just fading
warmth
and he leans down to steal the last breath from dead lips, eyes wide
open he
watches his tears' impact on paling skin. Bursting crystal, like his
heart.

THE LAST KISS HAD BEEN SO LONG TIME AGO,

THE LAST KISS

HE

CAN'T REMEMBER ANYMORE.

And a golden sun rises, taking him away from his embrace, making his
soul
fleet with fog by rays of light, leaving Sean with empty hands and
heart,
waiting for his own last sunrise.