(no subject)

[asynje.livejournal.com]

Title: Not Quite There
Author: asynje (heksen_vajd@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer: This is fiction. All lies. Sweet, sweet lies. *sigh*
Pairing: VM/SB
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Doubt and fear
Archive: rugbytackle. Others: just ask
Beta: the loverly jennandanica. All remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone. Mine, I tell you!
Feedback: is good. Very good.



Viggo is lying in the grass, wearing Aragorn’s gloves, a T-shirt and jeans. His feet are bare. The wind is playing with his hair and Sean’s eyes are caressing his face. Sean’s hands are empty and he catches himself trying to imagine what Viggo’s mouth would taste like.
He’s beginning to hate the make-believe of it all.

Later that night at the pub Sean focuses on his beer and doesn’t look at Viggo who’s distracted and withdrawn. Distant. He tells himself that it’s just the movie getting to him, the long hours, the haunting landscape. Fealty.
He doesn’t believe his own fabrications any more.

The wind in the parking lot is cold and hard, dispelling the haze long enough for him to recognize the shoulder he is leaning on, the half-turned face, the hands at the car door. But he’s afraid to open his mouth. Afraid that unwanted truth will spill from it. Or more lies.
He hides his face in Viggo’s neck and shuts his eyes tight.

The overhead light in the bathroom is harsh. Viggo’s hipbones fit his hands perfectly. He can feel the cold from the tiles seeping through his jeans, numbing his knees. Viggo is making small groaning noises, trapped between the wall and Sean’s mouth, and when he comes, Sean chokes on the bitterness.

It’s not until Viggo gets into the bed next to him that he realises he had assumed he would just leave.

Afterwards, Viggo pulls him closer and kisses him and Sean’s hands drift up to touch Viggo’s face.

"This isn’t real," he whispers, burying his fingers in Viggo’s hair and moving closer.

"I am here," Viggo says, softly stroking down his back. "You’re here." Caressing his forehead with gentle lips. "It's real."


And as Viggo puts his arms around him, Sean is almost convinced.

Comments

[ribby.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful--the feeling that it's all just a dream, because Sean thinks it can't possibly be real is so immediate and so incredibly sad.

And Viggo trying so hard to convice Sean...and almost doing so, but not quite--that's beautiful, and adds so much to the bittersweetness.

Thanks for posting this!

~Kris

[asynje.livejournal.com]

I am glad you liked it.
Now here's to hoping that my muses cheer up a bit soon *S*

I need cheer.*G*

[karelian]

I love the dreaminess of this, the almost-nightmarishness I guess I should say -- things that could be enjoyed but Sean won't let himself because he can't trust them. Very creepy and powerful and I'm going to read that as a happy ending. *g*

[asynje.livejournal.com]

*GGG*
You just go right ahead and do that ;)

I am so glad you liked it.

Powerful?
::blushes::

[asynje.livejournal.com]

And thanks for poking me so I got round to writing it *S*

[przed.livejournal.com]

You sketch out small moments and their impact on Sean with such perfect economy. I loved this. A lot.

Every line is lovely, but I especially like this one:
The wind is playing with his hair and Sean’s eyes are caressing his face.

[asynje.livejournal.com]

Thank you *S*

I am glad you liked it *S*
I wasn't quite sure about that line, m'self, so I am really glad it worked for you.

[(Anonymous)]

Very vivid! You manage to pack a lot of meaning into very few words. Touching story.

[asynje.livejournal.com]

I am glad you liked it. *S*
Thank you *S*

[lunasv.livejournal.com]

Each moment builds, one upon the next, until Sean embraces reality. I like that. I especially like that it takes the most gentle of things, caress and kiss, to ground him. The cold wind isn't biting enough to break through. The harsh glare of lights can't break the fog. Very nice.

[asynje.livejournal.com]

I am glad you liked it. *S*

Gentle is good.
Rough is good too.
Actually, most things involving nakedness and those two is good ;)