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rugbytackleFor BlueKat for obvious reasons...
Please read Part 1 of Breaking Point here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alexabond/22890.html#cutid1
Part 2
The sunlight was persistent and finally Sean forced his eyes open. He blinked at the light coming in from the only window in the bedroom, of course it had to face his way and bath him in its light. He winced as feeling awoke in his body. He felt warm from the heat of the sun, his head was aching, and he wondered what he had been doing last night. Then a familiar smell of sex reached his nostrils at the same time that a dull ache in his abdomen made memory return full force.
“Oh, shit,” he mumbled and closed his eyes briefly, hoping that when he reopened them it would all be a strange dream. But he was still in bed and someone was holding him close from behind, their arms firm and strong around his waist. Sean didn’t have to turn around to know the arms were Viggo’s.
He lay still, wondering what to do now. The ache in his head made the entire situation seem surreal to him but the ache in his body, especially his backside warned him against losing his trail of thought even though his headache made it hard to keep a straight line of thought. Maybe he could sneak out and go back to his own place without waking Viggo? Though what would he say when they met on set? The thought suddenly made him remember. Set. Didn’t they have shooting today? He tried to see the clock, which stood on the nightstand next to the bed on his side, but found it hard to do so, his body complaining painfully at every movement he made. He tried to stretch over without making any noise, ignoring the pain the stretch brought him and finally he saw that it was just a little after noon. He dropped back against the sheets - they still had a few hours then. Today there were only evening and night shots for both of them.
Again he lay still for a while, wondering what to do. He really wanted to get up and shower. He was about to figure out a way to escape Viggo’s embrace without waking the other man when he felt movement against him. He instantly stiffened but then forced himself to relax as Viggo pulled him closer and Sean let himself be turned around in Viggo’s embrace so they were face to face. Viggo’s eyes were dark and the sunlight seemed to dance in them. A small smile tugged at his lips. Sean gave a shy and embarrassed smile and looked at Viggo’s sternum instead of into his eyes, too confused about the whole situation to even pretend he had a handle on it.
“I didn’t know you were that innocent, angel,” The Alter’s voice was warm and teasing as he reached over with his left hand and tipped Sean’s head up so he could look into his eyes. The Alter was pleased that Viggo had not gained control over the body during the night and it left him in a good mood.
A blush colored Sean’s cheeks as he saw and recognized the fire in Viggo’s eyes.
“My own blond angel,” Viggo whispered and captured Sean’s lips in a demanding kiss. His tongue demanded access and too tired to try and make sense of it all, Sean let his lips be parted. The kiss ended as it had the night before when Viggo drew back, smiling at Sean.
“I…I,” Sean didn’t know what to say. His eyes dropped to the sheets. “I need to shower,” he settled with, cursing at himself for how lame that sounded.
The Alter just smiled at him and stroked his cheek. “Go ahead,” he released his hold on Sean and rolled back to the other half of the bed, reaching over to his nightstand to light a cigarette.
Sean quickly got out of bed on the other side and walked carefully towards the bathroom, trying to ignore the pain in his backside. He felt vulnerable as he walked naked around the bed and hoped Viggo wasn’t looking at him. To his relief Viggo was on his back, his eyes on the ceiling as he slowly blew smoke out.
It felt like forever but finally Sean reached the bathroom door. He quickly opened it and went inside, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he closed the door and locked it in one quick motion, the sound of the closing door hiding the sound of the lock. Taking a deep breath Sean went to the mirror and looked at himself. He looked tired but otherwise normal. Strange then that he felt so different. His head still ached, making it hard to focus on his thoughts long enough to process what had happened, how it had even happened. The night’s events kept haunting him. Sure he’d been drunk but he hadn’t been *that* drunk. Had he really come on to Viggo like he had thought?
Confused, Sean went to the shower and turned the water on. He stepped into the spray, enjoying how it cleaned his skin, making him feel refreshed. He didn’t want to touch his ass or dick but had to when he soaped. The memory of pain was still vivid in his mind, not made less by the dull ache he felt. Sean shook his head as he let the water wash away the soap. Viggo would never hurt him. He hadn’t known he had never been with a man before. He must have thought that he had been with others since he had come on to him…strange but Sean still wasn’t sure he had been the one to come on to him but if Viggo said so….
Sean closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall of the shower and pretended he didn't see the small trail of red in the water. It still hurt but it wasn't agonizing, and as long as he could walk and function he could pretend that nothing bad had happened last night. This wasn’t happening, hadn’t happened. He kept repeating those words in his mind as he stayed in the shower until the water turned cold. As if in a trance, he wiped off and found some clean clothes in one corner, next to the washing machine that was stored in the bathroom. It was one of Viggo’s old sweatshirts and some sweatpants but it was better than walking back out to face Viggo naked. He noticed how big Viggo’s shirt was on him and smiled as he smelt the shirt and was met by a mixture of newly washed clothes and the smell that was uniquely Viggo’s. He found he liked Viggo’s smell despite its masculinity but it was in the same way he might tell Karl he liked his suit and not in any sexual or romantic way. This realization was both disturbing and calming to him after last night yet a part of him was relieved to know that in a world which had been turned upside down at least some things hadn’t changed completely overnight.
Sean put his hand on the door handle, ready to go out again but something made him stop. What would he say to Viggo? He had come to care deeply for the man; there was something special about him. He enjoyed his company and loved being near him. Viggo had been there for him, supported him and guided him. He didn’t want to lose him. He had never thought of Viggo in a romantic sense but if Viggo said he had been the one to come on to him maybe he unconsciously had. Yet he still wasn’t sure. He had never been attracted to men before but then Viggo wasn’t just any man…. He bit his lower lip and tasted blood, as the cut that Viggo had left there reopened. He hadn’t enjoyed the sexual act in itself, it had been far too painful to be pleasurable, but he hadn’t said no and he had come, Sean reminded himself, so maybe…he could learn to like it. Maybe it was just because it was so new, so different….
Surprised and angry with himself for his train of thought Sean unlocked and opened the door. Back in the bedroom he saw that Viggo seemingly hadn’t moved since he had left, still staring at the ceiling, smoking. Then as Sean took another step into the room Viggo turned around on his side and smiled at Sean as he put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table.
“Come here, angel,” The Alter said warmly and patted the bed next to him.
Nervously Sean sat beside him, not sure what to do now. He didn’t want to hurt Viggo and he certainly didn’t want to risk losing him.
“Oh, you’re so beautiful when you’re confused,” his tone was light as The Alter sat up in bed and gave Sean a quick kiss.
Sean found himself responding to the kiss but then The Alter drew back. “Sorry, love, we don’t have time for anything else.”
The comment made a shudder run down Sean’s back as he remembered the pain he had felt last night. He liked Viggo’s hugs and kisses a lot, needing and enjoying the comfort of them but the thought of …Sean shook his head, refusing to think about it.
“Viggo, I think we…” Sean began, confused. This was going way too fast for him. He didn’t have time to think.
The Alter silenced him with another quick kiss, not wanting him to think. If he did he might discover that he wasn’t Viggo and The Alter couldn’t have that.
“You’re so right, angel,” The Alter agreed and caressed his cheek. The closer Sean was to him the stronger The Alter’s control over the body he shared with Viggo would be and the easier it would be for him to gain the kind of closeness and possession of Sean that he not only craved but also needed more than he had needed anything else in his existence. “When I’m ready to go we’ll drop by your place and pick up some things for you so you can move in here.”
Having said that The Alter swung around him and went to go to the bathroom, stark naked and smiling at Sean’s embarrassment.
“Move in with you? But…” Sean began, his eyes fixed on the floor to avoid looking at his naked friend. But he had wanted to apologize to Viggo and suggest they returned to just being good friends…at least until Sean was able to get a better handle on things.
“Don’t argue with me, angel,” there was a hint of a warning in the voice and Sean’s eyes flew up and he searched his friend’s face to try and read him but couldn’t. He always used to be able to read Viggo but now he wasn’t able to and he frowned in confusion.
“But….” Sean began softly again; feeling like this was going way too fast. He felt like he was a swimmer caught in a tide he couldn’t escape from.
“No ‘buts’. You did come on to me so what else should I think? Or maybe you come on to everyone?” The Alter’s voice was hard now, cold.
“No!” Sean denied hotly, shocked Viggo could even suggest this.
“Maybe I should ask around to be sure,” The Alter thought out loud.
Sean paled at the thought of Viggo telling anyone what had happened between them. Right now keeping it secret and silent was his number one priority. He hadn’t even figured out how he should handle the situation so the thought of trying to respond to anyone else’s response to it was terrifying. “Don’t.” It wasn’t really a command but more like a plea.
“Don’t what?” The Alter snared before he forced himself to calm down. “Maybe you would rather I left and compared notes with your earlier lovers?” The Alter’s voice was even darker, serious and a bit accusing. It was a bluff of course. The Alter needed Sean but then Sean didn’t know that.
“No,” Sean quickly shook his head at the thought of Viggo telling anyone what had happened as well as him thinking that poorly of him and leaving him. Viggo couldn’t leave him. He had been so good to him, helped him so much through all this mess with his divorce and everything. He couldn’t have Viggo think he just went to bed with everyone…and he certainly couldn’t have everyone knowing what had happened. They could figure this out somehow. “No…no,” he said more quietly. “I…I’ll move in.” He wasn’t sure why that came out as if he was admitting his surrender. Viggo was his friend and he had spent most of his time in his home anyway. Moving in really wasn’t such a big deal he tried but convince himself but didn’t quite succeed.
“So that’s settled then. Go wait for me in the livingroom, angel,” The Alter smiled at him as he went and kissed him again before disappearing into the bathroom.
Sean drew a deep breath and ran a hand through his still damp hair before he stood up.
“Yeah, settled,” Sean mumbled. Just what had been settled? One day Viggo had been his best friend and now he was his lover. Just the thought was overwhelming. Remembering the pain last night he wanted to tell Viggo that it had all been a mistake but then he recalled Viggo’s words, that he would leave him, and Sean stopped in his tracks. Viggo had been there for him. He couldn’t let him leave. He couldn’t bear to go through so many changes alone…not again. And he had come on to Viggo so on some level he must want this. Thoughtful, he walked to the livingroom and sat down on the sofa, waiting for Viggo. Thinking about what had happened made his head hurt even worse. Maybe he was just overanalyzing. Maybe he should just stop thinking so much and instead just enjoy being with Viggo. He was already his best friend…In time the love for a friend could become the love for a lover.
TBC
Thanks for your patience in letting me develop this story and thanks for taking a chance on it and me. And even more thanks if you actually take the time to read and review this *smiles*
On something else: I have 3 fics that have been nominated in the LOTR RPS Oscars. (Don't look so shocked; believe me...I was even MORE amazed! *laughs*). Anyway, Falling To Pieces and Steel Dove are both up for the best bondage short story and my drabble Stealing Kisses is up as best drabble. However all are up against not only great fics but in general Viggo/Orli fics so I am not too hopeful. Still, it's amazing to be nominated. If you feel like voting, for me or someone else, please go here:
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=slashy_oscars
Please read Part 1 of Breaking Point here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alexabond/22890.html#cutid1
Part 2
The sunlight was persistent and finally Sean forced his eyes open. He blinked at the light coming in from the only window in the bedroom, of course it had to face his way and bath him in its light. He winced as feeling awoke in his body. He felt warm from the heat of the sun, his head was aching, and he wondered what he had been doing last night. Then a familiar smell of sex reached his nostrils at the same time that a dull ache in his abdomen made memory return full force.
“Oh, shit,” he mumbled and closed his eyes briefly, hoping that when he reopened them it would all be a strange dream. But he was still in bed and someone was holding him close from behind, their arms firm and strong around his waist. Sean didn’t have to turn around to know the arms were Viggo’s.
He lay still, wondering what to do now. The ache in his head made the entire situation seem surreal to him but the ache in his body, especially his backside warned him against losing his trail of thought even though his headache made it hard to keep a straight line of thought. Maybe he could sneak out and go back to his own place without waking Viggo? Though what would he say when they met on set? The thought suddenly made him remember. Set. Didn’t they have shooting today? He tried to see the clock, which stood on the nightstand next to the bed on his side, but found it hard to do so, his body complaining painfully at every movement he made. He tried to stretch over without making any noise, ignoring the pain the stretch brought him and finally he saw that it was just a little after noon. He dropped back against the sheets - they still had a few hours then. Today there were only evening and night shots for both of them.
Again he lay still for a while, wondering what to do. He really wanted to get up and shower. He was about to figure out a way to escape Viggo’s embrace without waking the other man when he felt movement against him. He instantly stiffened but then forced himself to relax as Viggo pulled him closer and Sean let himself be turned around in Viggo’s embrace so they were face to face. Viggo’s eyes were dark and the sunlight seemed to dance in them. A small smile tugged at his lips. Sean gave a shy and embarrassed smile and looked at Viggo’s sternum instead of into his eyes, too confused about the whole situation to even pretend he had a handle on it.
“I didn’t know you were that innocent, angel,” The Alter’s voice was warm and teasing as he reached over with his left hand and tipped Sean’s head up so he could look into his eyes. The Alter was pleased that Viggo had not gained control over the body during the night and it left him in a good mood.
A blush colored Sean’s cheeks as he saw and recognized the fire in Viggo’s eyes.
“My own blond angel,” Viggo whispered and captured Sean’s lips in a demanding kiss. His tongue demanded access and too tired to try and make sense of it all, Sean let his lips be parted. The kiss ended as it had the night before when Viggo drew back, smiling at Sean.
“I…I,” Sean didn’t know what to say. His eyes dropped to the sheets. “I need to shower,” he settled with, cursing at himself for how lame that sounded.
The Alter just smiled at him and stroked his cheek. “Go ahead,” he released his hold on Sean and rolled back to the other half of the bed, reaching over to his nightstand to light a cigarette.
Sean quickly got out of bed on the other side and walked carefully towards the bathroom, trying to ignore the pain in his backside. He felt vulnerable as he walked naked around the bed and hoped Viggo wasn’t looking at him. To his relief Viggo was on his back, his eyes on the ceiling as he slowly blew smoke out.
It felt like forever but finally Sean reached the bathroom door. He quickly opened it and went inside, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he closed the door and locked it in one quick motion, the sound of the closing door hiding the sound of the lock. Taking a deep breath Sean went to the mirror and looked at himself. He looked tired but otherwise normal. Strange then that he felt so different. His head still ached, making it hard to focus on his thoughts long enough to process what had happened, how it had even happened. The night’s events kept haunting him. Sure he’d been drunk but he hadn’t been *that* drunk. Had he really come on to Viggo like he had thought?
Confused, Sean went to the shower and turned the water on. He stepped into the spray, enjoying how it cleaned his skin, making him feel refreshed. He didn’t want to touch his ass or dick but had to when he soaped. The memory of pain was still vivid in his mind, not made less by the dull ache he felt. Sean shook his head as he let the water wash away the soap. Viggo would never hurt him. He hadn’t known he had never been with a man before. He must have thought that he had been with others since he had come on to him…strange but Sean still wasn’t sure he had been the one to come on to him but if Viggo said so….
Sean closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall of the shower and pretended he didn't see the small trail of red in the water. It still hurt but it wasn't agonizing, and as long as he could walk and function he could pretend that nothing bad had happened last night. This wasn’t happening, hadn’t happened. He kept repeating those words in his mind as he stayed in the shower until the water turned cold. As if in a trance, he wiped off and found some clean clothes in one corner, next to the washing machine that was stored in the bathroom. It was one of Viggo’s old sweatshirts and some sweatpants but it was better than walking back out to face Viggo naked. He noticed how big Viggo’s shirt was on him and smiled as he smelt the shirt and was met by a mixture of newly washed clothes and the smell that was uniquely Viggo’s. He found he liked Viggo’s smell despite its masculinity but it was in the same way he might tell Karl he liked his suit and not in any sexual or romantic way. This realization was both disturbing and calming to him after last night yet a part of him was relieved to know that in a world which had been turned upside down at least some things hadn’t changed completely overnight.
Sean put his hand on the door handle, ready to go out again but something made him stop. What would he say to Viggo? He had come to care deeply for the man; there was something special about him. He enjoyed his company and loved being near him. Viggo had been there for him, supported him and guided him. He didn’t want to lose him. He had never thought of Viggo in a romantic sense but if Viggo said he had been the one to come on to him maybe he unconsciously had. Yet he still wasn’t sure. He had never been attracted to men before but then Viggo wasn’t just any man…. He bit his lower lip and tasted blood, as the cut that Viggo had left there reopened. He hadn’t enjoyed the sexual act in itself, it had been far too painful to be pleasurable, but he hadn’t said no and he had come, Sean reminded himself, so maybe…he could learn to like it. Maybe it was just because it was so new, so different….
Surprised and angry with himself for his train of thought Sean unlocked and opened the door. Back in the bedroom he saw that Viggo seemingly hadn’t moved since he had left, still staring at the ceiling, smoking. Then as Sean took another step into the room Viggo turned around on his side and smiled at Sean as he put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table.
“Come here, angel,” The Alter said warmly and patted the bed next to him.
Nervously Sean sat beside him, not sure what to do now. He didn’t want to hurt Viggo and he certainly didn’t want to risk losing him.
“Oh, you’re so beautiful when you’re confused,” his tone was light as The Alter sat up in bed and gave Sean a quick kiss.
Sean found himself responding to the kiss but then The Alter drew back. “Sorry, love, we don’t have time for anything else.”
The comment made a shudder run down Sean’s back as he remembered the pain he had felt last night. He liked Viggo’s hugs and kisses a lot, needing and enjoying the comfort of them but the thought of …Sean shook his head, refusing to think about it.
“Viggo, I think we…” Sean began, confused. This was going way too fast for him. He didn’t have time to think.
The Alter silenced him with another quick kiss, not wanting him to think. If he did he might discover that he wasn’t Viggo and The Alter couldn’t have that.
“You’re so right, angel,” The Alter agreed and caressed his cheek. The closer Sean was to him the stronger The Alter’s control over the body he shared with Viggo would be and the easier it would be for him to gain the kind of closeness and possession of Sean that he not only craved but also needed more than he had needed anything else in his existence. “When I’m ready to go we’ll drop by your place and pick up some things for you so you can move in here.”
Having said that The Alter swung around him and went to go to the bathroom, stark naked and smiling at Sean’s embarrassment.
“Move in with you? But…” Sean began, his eyes fixed on the floor to avoid looking at his naked friend. But he had wanted to apologize to Viggo and suggest they returned to just being good friends…at least until Sean was able to get a better handle on things.
“Don’t argue with me, angel,” there was a hint of a warning in the voice and Sean’s eyes flew up and he searched his friend’s face to try and read him but couldn’t. He always used to be able to read Viggo but now he wasn’t able to and he frowned in confusion.
“But….” Sean began softly again; feeling like this was going way too fast. He felt like he was a swimmer caught in a tide he couldn’t escape from.
“No ‘buts’. You did come on to me so what else should I think? Or maybe you come on to everyone?” The Alter’s voice was hard now, cold.
“No!” Sean denied hotly, shocked Viggo could even suggest this.
“Maybe I should ask around to be sure,” The Alter thought out loud.
Sean paled at the thought of Viggo telling anyone what had happened between them. Right now keeping it secret and silent was his number one priority. He hadn’t even figured out how he should handle the situation so the thought of trying to respond to anyone else’s response to it was terrifying. “Don’t.” It wasn’t really a command but more like a plea.
“Don’t what?” The Alter snared before he forced himself to calm down. “Maybe you would rather I left and compared notes with your earlier lovers?” The Alter’s voice was even darker, serious and a bit accusing. It was a bluff of course. The Alter needed Sean but then Sean didn’t know that.
“No,” Sean quickly shook his head at the thought of Viggo telling anyone what had happened as well as him thinking that poorly of him and leaving him. Viggo couldn’t leave him. He had been so good to him, helped him so much through all this mess with his divorce and everything. He couldn’t have Viggo think he just went to bed with everyone…and he certainly couldn’t have everyone knowing what had happened. They could figure this out somehow. “No…no,” he said more quietly. “I…I’ll move in.” He wasn’t sure why that came out as if he was admitting his surrender. Viggo was his friend and he had spent most of his time in his home anyway. Moving in really wasn’t such a big deal he tried but convince himself but didn’t quite succeed.
“So that’s settled then. Go wait for me in the livingroom, angel,” The Alter smiled at him as he went and kissed him again before disappearing into the bathroom.
Sean drew a deep breath and ran a hand through his still damp hair before he stood up.
“Yeah, settled,” Sean mumbled. Just what had been settled? One day Viggo had been his best friend and now he was his lover. Just the thought was overwhelming. Remembering the pain last night he wanted to tell Viggo that it had all been a mistake but then he recalled Viggo’s words, that he would leave him, and Sean stopped in his tracks. Viggo had been there for him. He couldn’t let him leave. He couldn’t bear to go through so many changes alone…not again. And he had come on to Viggo so on some level he must want this. Thoughtful, he walked to the livingroom and sat down on the sofa, waiting for Viggo. Thinking about what had happened made his head hurt even worse. Maybe he was just overanalyzing. Maybe he should just stop thinking so much and instead just enjoy being with Viggo. He was already his best friend…In time the love for a friend could become the love for a lover.
TBC
Thanks for your patience in letting me develop this story and thanks for taking a chance on it and me. And even more thanks if you actually take the time to read and review this *smiles*
On something else: I have 3 fics that have been nominated in the LOTR RPS Oscars. (Don't look so shocked; believe me...I was even MORE amazed! *laughs*). Anyway, Falling To Pieces and Steel Dove are both up for the best bondage short story and my drabble Stealing Kisses is up as best drabble. However all are up against not only great fics but in general Viggo/Orli fics so I am not too hopeful. Still, it's amazing to be nominated. If you feel like voting, for me or someone else, please go here:
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=slashy_oscars
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 06:04 am (UTC)Oh, you're a sweetheart! Thanks, babe! Your kind FB means the world to me and keeps me writing.
Thanks again! *blows kisses*
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 04:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 06:55 pm (UTC)Thanks, sweetheart! *blows a kiss*
DID is fascinating and I have often thought about how terrifying it must be for the sufferer.
Yes. *whispers: Viggo will prove this fact*
The fact that you have Viggo suffering from a mental disorder makes the whole fic belivable and complex, dealing in shades of grey not straightforward right and wrong, I like that.
*beams and blushes* Thanks so much.
I also have to confess to loving fics in which Sean suffers, (don't think that says anything very good about me)
Most of us love fics in which the character we love suffers.
We're probably all sick in some way. Join the madness; it's more fun together *grins*
and I too love the fic Varg which inspired this.
So do I *worships BlueKat once again*
I hope you continue with this
*fond smile* Thanks, lov. With such kind words as yours I am greatly encouraged to do so.
and hope you don't get abuse/flames.
Thanks, babe! I really worried about this.
So far people have been friendly for which I'm truly thankful. *hugs all around*
Thanks so much for your kind words. They mean the world to me and keeps me writing. *warm embrace*
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 06:59 pm (UTC)*laughs* Thanks, babe! *hugs and kisses*
Your kind words means so much to me! *warm embrace*
Could you give me your email please?
Of course. It's alexabond2000@yahoo.com
I would like to give a proper review :)
Thanks, sweetheart. That's so kind of you. *warm embrace*
(If you're gonna say something not so nice then that's okay but do it kindly please...I've had a shitty day. Thanks so much *hugs*)
no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-11 10:58 pm (UTC)*ashamed* No, darlin', you do not. I am sorry. I am depressed. Please forgive me. I'm...not feeling right in the head (or the heart) right now. I am sorry. I meant no offence.
No worries, I will be gentle, dear :) *hugs*
Thanks, lov though after what I did I do not deserve it *warm embrace*
Get better!!
Will try. Thanks *hugs*