Green Dark by shegollum -- part 4/?
Aug. 14th, 2005 08:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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rugbytackleTitle: Green Dark
Author: shegollum
Pairing: Viggo/Bean
Rating: R - NC17 (I dunno how to be a rating board, I guess!)
Summary: Morning after the night before...where are they in this strange new space?
Warnings: Angst; mental cruelty/instability; possibly non-con
Disclaimer: All made up in my wee little brain. No truth in it at all. Please do not even BEGIN to think that either of these much beloved men had anything to do with this or influenced it in any way other than by their undeniable hotness. ;-)
Archive: Viggo-Cursive and rugbytackle
A/N: Not beta'd. All errors are completely mine and mine alone.
Also, rape is not something I toy around with in fiction...not really. I know the reality and the fantasy are two different things and I can deal with that, but having had a relevant experience of this sort myself, just know that I have limits on how dark I think I can go into that specific scenario. This story is more mentally dark than physically, I suppose if that makes any sense at all...
I would love to hear feedback please. Any and all welcome.
-- shegollum
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck.
I knew you were rattled. Angry. Knew you would be worried about the way it happened. Why after all this time and why now when I was finally with someone else.
I didn’t have answers. And knew you sure as hell didn’t.
Didn’t know why we’d finally fucked.
But giving into it like we did – with all the fighting and anger around it – seemed about right for us.
You dreamt while you were here. Mumbled some things I couldn’t make out and flailed around a bit. I caught you and held you against me and you settled. For that moment it was like everything I thought we’d had before…only more.
But then again, I suppose that was an odd gentle gesture when we’d beat each other half-senseless in our frenzy to fuck just hours before. I have no explanation for the gentleness nor the roughness that came into it earlier last night. I’ve never felt sex like that, where we fought to be in it and fought to be out of it all at one time. But then that is who we are – not who we are apart really – but it is often who we are when we are together. The physicality we’ve always had in our pushing and fighting and rugby-tackling, for fuck’s sake – all of it on some new level that included sex. I don’t know what that all means. I’m angry on some levels and less so on others. I know I wouldn’t have stopped. Wouldn’t have asked – didn’t ask -- you to stop either. But I didn’t know where we were when morning came.
And then you showed yourself to be a prick like I never thought you would. I’ve seen you be many things over these years, Viggo. Many fucked up and wild things -- but always true to yourself. And to your friends.
Until now. But what I don’t know is whether the dishonesty began last night or this morning. And I realize that perhaps I’ve mistaken who you ever were.
So fuck off, mate. Wilder things have happened. I don’t expect you’ll be crowing about any of this to the tabloids and I certainly won’t so ‘no harm, no foul’ as you fucked up Americans say. Maybe I’ll see you around. But it’s more than likely that I won’t.
Author: shegollum
Pairing: Viggo/Bean
Rating: R - NC17 (I dunno how to be a rating board, I guess!)
Summary: Morning after the night before...where are they in this strange new space?
Warnings: Angst; mental cruelty/instability; possibly non-con
Disclaimer: All made up in my wee little brain. No truth in it at all. Please do not even BEGIN to think that either of these much beloved men had anything to do with this or influenced it in any way other than by their undeniable hotness. ;-)
Archive: Viggo-Cursive and rugbytackle
A/N: Not beta'd. All errors are completely mine and mine alone.
Also, rape is not something I toy around with in fiction...not really. I know the reality and the fantasy are two different things and I can deal with that, but having had a relevant experience of this sort myself, just know that I have limits on how dark I think I can go into that specific scenario. This story is more mentally dark than physically, I suppose if that makes any sense at all...
I would love to hear feedback please. Any and all welcome.
-- shegollum
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck.
I knew you were rattled. Angry. Knew you would be worried about the way it happened. Why after all this time and why now when I was finally with someone else.
I didn’t have answers. And knew you sure as hell didn’t.
Didn’t know why we’d finally fucked.
But giving into it like we did – with all the fighting and anger around it – seemed about right for us.
You dreamt while you were here. Mumbled some things I couldn’t make out and flailed around a bit. I caught you and held you against me and you settled. For that moment it was like everything I thought we’d had before…only more.
But then again, I suppose that was an odd gentle gesture when we’d beat each other half-senseless in our frenzy to fuck just hours before. I have no explanation for the gentleness nor the roughness that came into it earlier last night. I’ve never felt sex like that, where we fought to be in it and fought to be out of it all at one time. But then that is who we are – not who we are apart really – but it is often who we are when we are together. The physicality we’ve always had in our pushing and fighting and rugby-tackling, for fuck’s sake – all of it on some new level that included sex. I don’t know what that all means. I’m angry on some levels and less so on others. I know I wouldn’t have stopped. Wouldn’t have asked – didn’t ask -- you to stop either. But I didn’t know where we were when morning came.
And then you showed yourself to be a prick like I never thought you would. I’ve seen you be many things over these years, Viggo. Many fucked up and wild things -- but always true to yourself. And to your friends.
Until now. But what I don’t know is whether the dishonesty began last night or this morning. And I realize that perhaps I’ve mistaken who you ever were.
So fuck off, mate. Wilder things have happened. I don’t expect you’ll be crowing about any of this to the tabloids and I certainly won’t so ‘no harm, no foul’ as you fucked up Americans say. Maybe I’ll see you around. But it’s more than likely that I won’t.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-15 08:11 pm (UTC)I can only imagine them with contradictory feelings... with a strong element of fight in their relationship, although I like to read the schmoop and sweet harmony as well. But the half-love-half-hate-sort-of-relationship feels somehow more true to me. More like Viggo and Sean would actually feel if they were together (though I can´t know that).
Therefore, though I´m angstily hoping for a happy end, this one gives me a strong feeling of "Viggo and Sean" as I see them...
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 01:17 am (UTC)~~wow...must go right more smut...~~
no subject
Date: 2005-08-16 01:14 am (UTC)I'm happy and reassured that Sean took it all so well and that he seems to be open to fixing the situation with Viggo. I'm hoping here for a happy ending.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 01:17 am (UTC)