Giving

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Title: Giving

Rating: R

Pairing: SB/VM

Author:govi20

 

Author’s note: I’ve picked no. 35 from  moldava's  Christmas Prompts table.Thank you for the great idea Moldava!

DISCLAIMER: This story is FICTION; is NOT true, and did NOT happen. I write these stories for fun, and don't make any profit whatsoever from them. Do not know these celebrities and am NOT making any claims about what they do (or enjoy) in real life.

 

 

I will put these thoughts underneath our Christmas tree, for your eyes only.

Giving…..I feel a lot like it right now. To be giving you something special this Christmas.

I am just considering the things I would like to give you Sean. And also the reason why I want to give them.

First of all I want to give you the images, not the ones on my camera, but the ones in my head.

The images that are in my head and in my heart. Like the first time I saw you. The first time I saw that dangerous smile. The way I caught you sleeping between takes. That dazzling first kiss. The difference between you shredding your clothes in the trailer and undressing for me.

The way your eyes looked in mine when we made love for the very first time.

I want to give you whatever word I am unable to speak.  Because I simply cannot find the right words to tell you what you mean for me.

I am not the easiest person to live with, I am fully aware of that and still you manage. Make me laugh and  love. Forcing to see things in the right perspective when I am lost.

My emergency exit when things go wrong.

I would love to put it all down in music, paint or words, but I am not able to.

I am looking at our Christmas tree right now. The one we’ve been arguing about. I don’t like having a tree in the room. Trees belong in a forest, not in someone’s house, I have a very strong feeling about that.

But then you told me how these trees are specially nursed for this and how we can put it in the garden afterwards and how you’ll tend it, your green eyes glowing with conviction and I let you persuade me.

Because I love the 1000 ways you seem to have to persuade me.

I have no gift to give you except myself Sean. Unwrapped and honest. What you see is what you get. I can only hope it is enough.

 

 

Ah Viggo. Sometimes it’s hard to love a person like you, you know. Feeling the disadvantage of not being a very artful person. I am just what I am, just such a normal guy.

So again, what you see is what you get.

What I would like to give to you?

Just like you’ve said: the images you can’t capture on a camera. Like the crazy things you do, how you make me howl with laughter sometimes. I guess you’re the only American movie star walking around wearing football p.j.’s.

The way you looked fighting your way through Helm’s Deep.

How certain your hands were on my body that first night. How you could really make me believe in myself again, after failing so many times in love and relationship.

Watching you being eccentric, but still being so down to earth, it’s hard to describe a person like you. Hard to understand, but so easy to love..

I’d like to give you the respect I have for carrying out the political beliefs that you have. That unrelenting conviction I always fear will bring you in trouble sometime.

We argued about that: you know there are people who want to really hurt you for that, but that doesn’t stop you.

I admire you for it, but I would prefer you to be more careful. Still I envy your unyielding certainty.

The way you love your friends, uncompromising.

Your integrity. Your personality. But also your sadness and loneliness. I want to share your loneliness Viggo, not just this Christmas.

I have already given you my love, I give you myself now and just hope it’ll be enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[tearsandrainxxx.livejournal.com]

great - loved it :-D

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thank you for commenting. Appreciate it!

[afra_schatz]

Great job - I could almost see it in their handwriting, it felt so very real. Thanks for sharing!

[govi20.livejournal.com]

It's always tricky to write it in first person. Glad you like it!

[mooms.livejournal.com]

Govi, this is a lovely little story !It is so sweet and intimate. Your writing is getting better and better !

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thank you dear Mooms. So where is yours? "hugs"

[mooms.livejournal.com]

It's written, it's written, Gov !! AND posted, so you can stop nagging now !!

Hello

[faramirgirl.livejournal.com]

That was just so beautifully written. Loved it.

Re: Hello

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for your comment faramirgirl!

[liars-dance.livejournal.com]

Ah, lovely. And so true! They are each the finest gifts they could give or receive... And well done with the first person - that is something I have never done in two and half years of writing these two!

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your kind comment,liars dance. Much appreciated!

[nevanoon.livejournal.com]

Their declarations of love - yes, that's true "giving"!!
(And while reading it I caught myself thinking several times : That's exactly what I love them for...)
Thanks for writing and sharing!

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thank you Nevanoon: it's what I love them for too!

[lab-jazz.livejournal.com]

This is great Govi, expressing everything that we love about 'our' boys. Thanks so much for writing and posting it.

[govi20.livejournal.com]

I am glad you like it lab jazz!

[rotpunkt.livejournal.com]

Made my eyes water, but in a happy way...

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's nice to be sentimental I think.

[foxrafer.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful. Honest and soul searching, loving and sweet. Thank you.

[nanathecat.livejournal.com]

*Sigh*
There's a kind of very holy essence of love: what is so true and so honest thing, difficult to see, to get or to give but without it love cannot stay alive. You always make me feel great through your fics, Govi, thank you for creating such good stories of S/V!

[govi20.livejournal.com]

I have to thank you Nana, for your kind and constant support.
I think what you say about love ir very true!