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rugbytackleTitle: Faith
Pairing: SB/VM
Rating: R
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
govi20
A.N.: Attempt on prompt 55 of moldava's Christmas Table (New Year's Eve)
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[Bad username or unknown identity: Disclaimer: ]This story is fiction. It’s all in my head!
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So it’s the last day of the year. I look at you from the other side of the room, unable to tell you how I feel with all this people around us. Even though they’re good friends I can’t wait to see them go, so I can tell you what’s on my mind.
New Year’s Eve is the ultimate time for reflection and reminiscing.
My life has changed in so many ways this year. And it’s all because of you.
I knew all along I loved you. Almost from the first time we met. But I loved you as a friend I thought, not a mate, but a friend. Someone special, something rare.
And you waited, you gave me time to wake up. But I didn’t, so you took matters in own hand.
I’ll never forget that evening you came to my house and told me about your feelings. When I rejected you, you told me about my feelings. Because you knew.
There was no getting away. From the moment you kissed me I was lost.
I always felt very confident in my masculinity and you shook that confidence. I had a hard time to deal with it. Was so afraid for the complications and refused to give in completely.
And again you stepped back and gave me time. Confusion hit me: how can you be afraid of the thing you want most of all. Afraid of being hurt, again. Afraid of losing something you haven’t even got yet. I am not good at all in figuring things like that out, so I did nothing, waiting for you to act. And you did eventually.
Sitting on my couch we spoke almost all night. Listening to my arguments, slowly tearing down my walls. Refusing to let me hide behind words, until I finally broke down and admitted I was afraid. Afraid for what the world around us would think. But even more afraid to love and lose that love again. Before I knew it I was telling you the whole thing, my marriages, my relations, my failures.
Here I was, stripped to bare essence and you still wanted me. That night you gave me back faith. I had been so sure I was never going to love again and you proved me wrong.
The way we made love then, it was a whole new world open for discovery.
You never ever gave me reason to regret that.
Isn’t it wonderful how we laugh , fight and love. Soft and tender caresses, struggle for dominance, painful ache for release: it’s all that and more..
Even though you have your mistresses I sometimes hate, because they take you away from me. Arts, politics, friends, demanding mistresses they are.
But I am no longer afraid, because I know I come first.
It’s like they say in that old love song: “even the bad times are good”.
So I can’t wait to be alone with you, my love.
“Happy New Year, Viggo”.
.
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Date: 2005-12-31 10:02 am (UTC)Either I´m very sentimental today or the little story pressed some buttons... I feel so much with Sean I can´t help shedding two little tears (but don´t worry, I like the feeling).
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Date: 2005-12-31 10:18 am (UTC)Hello
Date: 2005-12-31 10:15 am (UTC)Re: Hello
Date: 2005-12-31 10:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-31 10:42 am (UTC)Happy New Year!
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Date: 2005-12-31 10:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-01 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-01 11:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-01 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-02 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-02 04:45 pm (UTC)