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Feb. 21st, 2006 02:16 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
mooms.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleTitle: The Het Resistance
Author: mooms
Pairing: VM/SB
Rating: R
Summary: Het fans strike back
Warnings: RPS
Disclaimer: Written for fun, not profit. This is a work of imagination and does not imply anything about the real life activities of either person.
Archive: rugbytackle, Viggo_cursive
Author’s note : This was written to tease some of my friends from the forums, who show a perverted preference for het fiction.
The Het Resistance Movement
The two men on the bed breathed evenly, in perfect harmony with each other, wrapped in a deep and dreamless sleep, one spooned behind his mate, his strong arms protectively clasped around the firmly muscled chest. His lover slept pressed back against him, virtually sitting in his lap, his long fingers interlaced with the paint-stained ones holding him so tightly.
“Fuck !” hissed one of the black-clad figures who had entered the bedroom , as silent and deadly as ninjas, “why do they have to sleep coiled around each other like that ? How are we supposed to separate them ?”
“It’s compulsory !” whispered another. “They have to sleep like that. It’s in the slashy contract. Here, take the hypodermic and sedate them both, then we’ll be able to roll them apart.”
“They look so cute, like that, though, seems a shame,” sighed another regretfully, only to find herself pushed roughly up against the wall, almost choked by the leather – gloved hand at her throat, nose to masked nose with her leader, who towered over her menacingly.
“I trust you are not wavering in your resolve, Commando Greentea,” she snarled. “As het-lovers, it is our mission to stamp out this slash and I will not tolerate any back-sliders. You know what we are up against. We are badly outnumbered ! You are either for us or against us !”
“OK,” squeaked Greentea, with the little breath available to her. She actually quite liked some of the slash fiction as well, but didn’t feel this was the right time to confess !
“Right,” said Jo, authoritatively, “Here we go.”
She plunged the syringe forcefully into Viggo’s right buttock, as simultaneously, Commando Terry plunged hers into Sean’s thigh.
Both sets of eyes flashed open in shock, but before there was time for either man to react, the powerful sedative did its dastardly work and they lapsed into deep unconsciousness.
Efficiently, two of them rolled Sean away from Viggo’s protective grasp, wrapping him in a thick travelling rug and reverently carrying him downstairs into the living room, where they placed him gently on the floor.
“We’ll soon have him tucked up in bed with that insipid blonde he keeps being photographed with ! Shame it has to be her, but at least it’ll be good, proper het ! Now load him into the truck and Terry, you are in command of this part of the mission.”
“But what are you going to do, Boss ?”
“Er, well, I was going to slip out of these restrictive clothes and join Viggo upstairs, I mean, someone needs to take care of him……make sure that he doesn’t have a bad reaction to the sedative, comfort him for the loss of Sean, make him see that het is the only way.”
Several hostile pairs of eyes turned mutinously towards her.
“ What ??? Is this insubordination ? I am most disappointed in you all !”
“How come YOU get to comfort Viggo ? How come the rest of us don’t get a look in ? And we could comfort Sean, we don’t need to take him to Little Miss Latex.”
An argument broke out and two of the commandos picked up Sean’s mummified body again and clutched it to them, protectively.
CRASH !!
A heavily - booted foot kicked the door open and the commandos quailed in the awesome presence of Govi and Catgirl, clad in black leather jumpsuits and toting primed laptops.
“Just put down the Bean slowly and back away, ladies ! “ cried Govi, terrible in her wrath! “ We are the Slash Police and we are here to restore everything to its rightful place. Sean’s rightful place is in Viggo’s arms, or with his cock shoved up Viggo’s ass.”
“Or vice versa,” said Catgirl, who likes Viggo to top. “Or beating Sean, with his belt, “she went on, her eyes clouding with lust at the mental picture this provided.
“Curses. Foiled again,” snarled Jo, as she and the commandos slunk away into the night, resigned to the fact that resistance was futile.
Soon, Govi and Catgirl had carried Sean back upstairs and unwrapped him.
“We had better check him over for damage,” said Govi responsibly.
“I will assist,” said Catgirl, helpfully.
A couple of hours later, they were satisfied that Sean was relatively unscathed by his ordeal and Sean seemed satisfied too, by the beatific smile on his still unconscious face.
“Quick, put him back into bed, Viggo seems to be coming round,” whispered Govi urgently.
Only just in time, they managed to replace Sean in Viggo’s arms, as both men began to wake up.
“Shit, Sean,” mumbled Viggo. “Did you bite my ass last night ? It hurts like a bitch ?”
“You can talk, you wanker, what about my thigh ? What the fuck were we drinking last night, Viggo ? My mouth is as dry as a camel’s crotch.”
“Well come here and let me get your juices flowing, “ murmured Viggo, turning Sean towards him.
Two pairs of voyeuristic eyes glittered through the slats in the wardrobe as Govi turned to Catgirl and whispered,
“Our work here is done !”
Author: mooms
Pairing: VM/SB
Rating: R
Summary: Het fans strike back
Warnings: RPS
Disclaimer: Written for fun, not profit. This is a work of imagination and does not imply anything about the real life activities of either person.
Archive: rugbytackle, Viggo_cursive
Author’s note : This was written to tease some of my friends from the forums, who show a perverted preference for het fiction.
The Het Resistance Movement
The two men on the bed breathed evenly, in perfect harmony with each other, wrapped in a deep and dreamless sleep, one spooned behind his mate, his strong arms protectively clasped around the firmly muscled chest. His lover slept pressed back against him, virtually sitting in his lap, his long fingers interlaced with the paint-stained ones holding him so tightly.
“Fuck !” hissed one of the black-clad figures who had entered the bedroom , as silent and deadly as ninjas, “why do they have to sleep coiled around each other like that ? How are we supposed to separate them ?”
“It’s compulsory !” whispered another. “They have to sleep like that. It’s in the slashy contract. Here, take the hypodermic and sedate them both, then we’ll be able to roll them apart.”
“They look so cute, like that, though, seems a shame,” sighed another regretfully, only to find herself pushed roughly up against the wall, almost choked by the leather – gloved hand at her throat, nose to masked nose with her leader, who towered over her menacingly.
“I trust you are not wavering in your resolve, Commando Greentea,” she snarled. “As het-lovers, it is our mission to stamp out this slash and I will not tolerate any back-sliders. You know what we are up against. We are badly outnumbered ! You are either for us or against us !”
“OK,” squeaked Greentea, with the little breath available to her. She actually quite liked some of the slash fiction as well, but didn’t feel this was the right time to confess !
“Right,” said Jo, authoritatively, “Here we go.”
She plunged the syringe forcefully into Viggo’s right buttock, as simultaneously, Commando Terry plunged hers into Sean’s thigh.
Both sets of eyes flashed open in shock, but before there was time for either man to react, the powerful sedative did its dastardly work and they lapsed into deep unconsciousness.
Efficiently, two of them rolled Sean away from Viggo’s protective grasp, wrapping him in a thick travelling rug and reverently carrying him downstairs into the living room, where they placed him gently on the floor.
“We’ll soon have him tucked up in bed with that insipid blonde he keeps being photographed with ! Shame it has to be her, but at least it’ll be good, proper het ! Now load him into the truck and Terry, you are in command of this part of the mission.”
“But what are you going to do, Boss ?”
“Er, well, I was going to slip out of these restrictive clothes and join Viggo upstairs, I mean, someone needs to take care of him……make sure that he doesn’t have a bad reaction to the sedative, comfort him for the loss of Sean, make him see that het is the only way.”
Several hostile pairs of eyes turned mutinously towards her.
“ What ??? Is this insubordination ? I am most disappointed in you all !”
“How come YOU get to comfort Viggo ? How come the rest of us don’t get a look in ? And we could comfort Sean, we don’t need to take him to Little Miss Latex.”
An argument broke out and two of the commandos picked up Sean’s mummified body again and clutched it to them, protectively.
CRASH !!
A heavily - booted foot kicked the door open and the commandos quailed in the awesome presence of Govi and Catgirl, clad in black leather jumpsuits and toting primed laptops.
“Just put down the Bean slowly and back away, ladies ! “ cried Govi, terrible in her wrath! “ We are the Slash Police and we are here to restore everything to its rightful place. Sean’s rightful place is in Viggo’s arms, or with his cock shoved up Viggo’s ass.”
“Or vice versa,” said Catgirl, who likes Viggo to top. “Or beating Sean, with his belt, “she went on, her eyes clouding with lust at the mental picture this provided.
“Curses. Foiled again,” snarled Jo, as she and the commandos slunk away into the night, resigned to the fact that resistance was futile.
Soon, Govi and Catgirl had carried Sean back upstairs and unwrapped him.
“We had better check him over for damage,” said Govi responsibly.
“I will assist,” said Catgirl, helpfully.
A couple of hours later, they were satisfied that Sean was relatively unscathed by his ordeal and Sean seemed satisfied too, by the beatific smile on his still unconscious face.
“Quick, put him back into bed, Viggo seems to be coming round,” whispered Govi urgently.
Only just in time, they managed to replace Sean in Viggo’s arms, as both men began to wake up.
“Shit, Sean,” mumbled Viggo. “Did you bite my ass last night ? It hurts like a bitch ?”
“You can talk, you wanker, what about my thigh ? What the fuck were we drinking last night, Viggo ? My mouth is as dry as a camel’s crotch.”
“Well come here and let me get your juices flowing, “ murmured Viggo, turning Sean towards him.
Two pairs of voyeuristic eyes glittered through the slats in the wardrobe as Govi turned to Catgirl and whispered,
“Our work here is done !”
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Date: 2006-02-21 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 03:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:05 pm (UTC)“Or vice versa,” said Catgirl, who likes Viggo to top. “Or beating Sean, with his belt, “she went on, her eyes clouding with lust at the mental picture this provided.
I'm going to have to send you the bill for the brand-spanking-new laptop I'm going to have to replace, now that I've blown an entire mouthful of coffee all over the keyboard and monitor. What a scream.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-22 02:24 am (UTC)Still laughing, hours later btw after re-reading it.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 04:56 pm (UTC)You're crazy and I love you for it! *hug*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 08:27 pm (UTC)I don't know the girls you portrayed as "The Het Resistance Movement", but it doesn't matter: it's been great fun reading this!!
"Slash Police" - restoring everything to its rightful place - I almost burst with laughter! Thank you, mooms, I really had a bad day today, I feel so much better now!
Your "quarrel" with Govi about who's the favourite top.. priceless, great!
"Little Miss Latex" - and I, of course, love you for this! :) :)
Your work here isn't done, I hope!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 10:21 pm (UTC). . . with his cock shoved up Viggo’s ass.” “Or vice versa,” Priceless, absolutely Priceless!!!! *giggling*
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Date: 2006-02-21 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-22 12:46 am (UTC)lab_jazz aka catgirl
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Date: 2006-02-22 08:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-22 05:43 am (UTC)i'm one of those weirdos who will write both, but this was still friggin' hilarious. great characterizations...
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Date: 2006-02-22 09:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-23 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-23 07:04 pm (UTC)CHS = Closet Het Society (for the uninitiated.)