Line from an interview
May. 19th, 2003 11:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
karelian posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleI was wondering, for the purposes of a throwaway line in a fic, what kind of farm Viggo's relatives in Denmark have, so I threw "Viggo Mortensen," "farm" and "Denmark" into a Google search and I stumbled across this very badly-translated interview, which I had never seen before. This leaped out at me:
- There are a lot of women who thinks youu are unbelievable sexy in movies?
- Yes, I’ve heard that, and my college Seean Bean also says that.
Okay, it's hard to put a lot of stock in a translation of a quote by someone who couldn't even spell "Sean Bean" correctly, but this put a huge smile on my face so I thought I'd share.
- There are a lot of women who thinks youu are unbelievable sexy in movies?
- Yes, I’ve heard that, and my college Seean Bean also says that.
Okay, it's hard to put a lot of stock in a translation of a quote by someone who couldn't even spell "Sean Bean" correctly, but this put a huge smile on my face so I thought I'd share.
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 09:06 am (UTC)I'm such a marshmallow. *G* I just love it when they talk about each other. Now all they have to do is stand in a room together and have a PICTURE taken, and I'll be happy.
Not that I'm bitter or anything. ;)
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Date: 2003-05-19 09:16 am (UTC)If the two of you will just stand in a room and have your picture taken together, I think we can convince Keely to write transcendent smut about the two of you. And Keely writes transcendent smut, well, transcendently, so this would really be in everyone's best interest. Please go stand someplace and I'll get the camera ready.
Alternatively, if you would prefer to be lying down or taking a shower together, I am sure that would work too.
Best,
Karelian
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Date: 2003-05-19 09:38 am (UTC)I'd be happy if they just had a picture, but if we could get Sean to give Viggo a friendly...er, I mean manly swat on the ass, I might just drop dead from happiness. ;)
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Date: 2003-05-19 11:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-20 06:38 am (UTC)Naked pictures in the shower!
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Date: 2003-05-19 11:04 am (UTC)- Yes, I’ve heard that, and my college Seean Bean also says that.
Wait, wait wait... Did he just say that Sean Bean also says that he's unbelievably sexy in movies? ;-) At least, that's how the sentence read to me. Ah, the joys of ambiguous replies and bad translations. *evil grin*
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Date: 2003-05-19 11:23 am (UTC)- Der er mange kvinder, der mener, at du err utrolig sexet på film? - Ja, det har jeg hørt, og det siger min kollega Sean Bean også. Han spiller krigeren Boromir, lyder det fra Viggo med et stort grin.
*hands Karelian the film for the camera*
(Reply to this)
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Date: 2003-05-19 11:28 am (UTC)Teehee! I knew it! Sean did say that Viggo's unbelievably sexy in his movies. :D
no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 11:30 am (UTC)I am doing an academic study about which films Viggo looks sexiest in and would like your input. Please describe in detail your favorite
whacking scenesimages of Viggo looking sexy on film.Thank you,
Karelian
M.A., Ph.D., DDS
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Date: 2003-05-19 12:00 pm (UTC)I am doing an academic study about which films Viggo looks sexiest in and would like your input. Please describe in detail your favorite
whacking scenesimages of Viggo looking sexy on film.Thank you,
Karelian
M.A., Ph.D., DDS
Dear Ms Karelian,
Despite your most impressive range of academic titles, I regret to inform you that I will unfortunately have to refrain from providing you with any input concerning your undoubtedly
arousinginteresting study. Might I suggest to you to spend less time in your den writing dry research papersand reminding me of Viggo's sexy arseand more time in the cinemadrooling over Viggodoing empirical research?Yours sincerely,
Mr Bean
Yorkshire Man of the Year 2002
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Date: 2003-05-19 01:05 pm (UTC)I am terribly sorry if you think it is rude that I am addressing you by your first name, but I cannot say "Mr. Bean" without picturing Rowan Atkinson, who tickes my funny bone but not my
clitsense of aesthetics. I assure you that there is nothing dry about mysmutresearch papers, nor even the chair in which I write them. Alsomy hands get too slipperyit is too difficult to type in the cinema. And I would really like the perspective of a man whoobviously has a crush on Viggocan bring an actor's perspective to Mr. Mortensen'sreally hot arsecharms. Are you certain that you cannot help me?Most sincerely yours, on the floor or the couch or anywhere you'd like it,
Karelian
BBS, TMI
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Date: 2003-05-19 02:17 pm (UTC)Please refrain in the future from putting my
fuckbuddygood friend Mr. S. Bean on the spot by asking him which movies he thought I lookedsexyshaggableparticularly good in, as he sincerly does not wish to offend any of my oh so lovely castmates. He truly has no opinion on this subject and I would ask that you stopdistracting him for sucking me offharrassing him immediatly. This whole situationhas made him horny as hellhas put him off-center and he needs time tocuddlerecuperate.Completely
Sean'syours,Viggo Mortensen, Esquire.
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Date: 2003-05-19 02:55 pm (UTC)I expected you of all people to appreciate the intellectual value of this endeavor! I had no intention of keeping Sean fixated on questions about your arse, but thought they were a good lead-in to questions like "How many of Viggo's poems are about you?" This is for LITERARY RESEARCH. Please
take Sean out of the handcuffsallow me to interview Mr. Bean for this important project that will ensure that yourhotnesswork is appreciated!Yours, though I'd settle for just watching,
Karelian
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Date: 2003-05-19 03:04 pm (UTC)Be that as it may (and rest assured that I do NOT, despite all evidence to the contrary, write love poetry
not about Sean), I do not believe you are particularly qualified to conduct an in-depth study into mylovelifeartwork, literary or otherwise. As for petitioning for an allotment of Mr. Bean's valuable time, I must inform you thatSean has no desire to be let out of the handcuffs and nipple clampsMr. Bean is a very busy man and cannot entertain all callers. Therefore, we must decline your generous and thoughtful requestso I can go back to fucking Sean into next weekso that Mr. Bean may be able to see more of this beautifulasscountry.Sincerely,
Viggo Mortensen, LSR.
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Date: 2003-05-19 03:10 pm (UTC)Hugs and kisses,
Karel
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Date: 2003-05-19 03:14 pm (UTC)I am very wary of your suddenly genial tone. Just what you do you have up your sleeve?
re: the pictures. They've already been taken, of course. What else do you think I do with my time? And would you be willing to chip in to the purchase of a scanner?
Yours in Confusion,
Vig
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Date: 2003-05-19 03:31 pm (UTC)I am sure that we in the Rugbytackle community would all be delighted to chip in and purchase a scanner for you. In fact I daresay we will be happy to invest in a top of the line webcam.
I am unsure what you mean about my genial tone; I am always genial, as anyone here can tell you, except when I am the Bitch of Life, but that only occurs on days when I have been deprived of my schmoopy Aragorn/Boromir fix. The only things I have up my sleeve are a kleenex, a pencil and possibly some cat hairs.
Yours in devotion,
K.
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Date: 2003-05-19 03:37 pm (UTC)I - no, Sean, you may not use the computer. What am I doing? Why, protecting your virture. Of course you have virtue, love. Everyone does, you especially. And you're very cute when you pout like that. - I really don't think that would be neccessary, darling stalker. Mr. Bean and I have already investigated thoroughly every interesting use there can be made of webcams. - What, love? Yes, I will take it out of your ass soon. Just give me a moment. There's someone on here that wants to see us naked together. Yes, that's a problem. Two words, love: Tab. Loids. - So, we thank you for your support but must remind you that all fair in love and Beany-babies.
My regards to your friends and fellows,
V.M.
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Date: 2003-05-19 03:42 pm (UTC)snickering over this exchangequietly reading these notes know my various secret identities, yet can be trusted not to out me. Besides, with The Establishment in business over at Journalfen, are there really any secrets left?Wishing only for your happiness and public nudity,
K.
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Date: 2003-05-19 03:48 pm (UTC)Re: The Establishment. That's gone public??? Oh, dear.
Sean, we have to plan a trip to England. Now.
Yours in panic,
Mortensen, Sr.
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Date: 2003-05-20 06:41 am (UTC)And I'll chip in my bit for the webcam in frantic haste, check or money order!
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Date: 2003-05-20 07:10 am (UTC)Stipulated. Now didn't you have some kink to write?
Yours in fandom,
Viggo Mortensen, LSR.
P.S. Sean is most definitly not into bestiality or Orc-iality, or whatever. Just for the record.
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Date: 2003-05-20 07:19 am (UTC)If you're going to keep spamming the community, I think you should contribute some
kinkstories as well. We are all working on becoming more accurate writers and would appreciatesordid detailsassistance in getting the facts correct.Best,
K.
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Date: 2003-05-20 07:51 am (UTC)You have no idea how tempted I am to send you an old angst I wrote when Sean and I weren't getting along so famouslyI have spoken with both my lawyers and my agent and they both inform me that it would be very detrimental to my reputation as an actor and as an artist to write "porn" or even "erotica". Therefore, I would be forced to take on a pen name. How does"Sean's Bitch""Not in this lifetime" sound?Though, to be fair to my partner in
sincrime, I will consult him.Yours faithfully,
Vig.
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Date: 2003-05-20 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-20 08:53 am (UTC)oh, fuck.
Keep talking. What's your offer, Madam?
You'll be the death of me, and that's supposed to be Sean,
Vigggggggggo.
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Date: 2003-05-20 11:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-20 11:41 am (UTC)Oh, and for the record: Sean loves me. And only me. He does not "do" girls. That's just delusions on behalf of the leakers.
-Vig
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Date: 2003-05-20 12:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-21 03:42 pm (UTC)Sometimes I wonder if he's straighter than he'll admit to. It's troubling.
Anyway, you probably don't care for trouble-in-paradise sort of rumor fodder. I'll see what I can
make uppull of our my ass (after Sean's dick)do.Yours Truly,
Johnny Dollar.
(that's what he's making me call myself today. Not sure how I pissed him off last night. Sure didn't piss on him. I hope.)
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Date: 2003-05-21 03:52 pm (UTC)You don't even REMEMBER?
Heh.
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Date: 2003-05-21 04:25 pm (UTC)talentscaliber?Yours in perplexedness,
Mr. John F. Dollar
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Date: 2003-05-21 05:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-21 07:35 pm (UTC):|
~Johnny Dollar
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Date: 2003-05-21 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-21 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-14 02:08 pm (UTC)and how do you type the words that are crossed out? just wondering - I dunno what the code is ^__^
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Date: 2005-12-15 12:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-26 12:52 pm (UTC)plots to destroy the world so this information will be kept secretwhy thankyou ^__^
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Date: 2003-05-19 01:57 pm (UTC)How ... interesting.
Anyways, the farm is a pig farm. Svinefarm *S* in case you're still wondering.
Somewhere close to Ringsted - which sounds to modern ears as if it means "place of the Ring" - honestly *G*
It probably doesn't mean that at all but it's still kind of funny *S*
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Date: 2003-05-19 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-26 09:09 pm (UTC)PS: What is this "Establishment" you speak of?
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Date: 2003-05-27 07:55 pm (UTC)http://www.journalfen.net/community/establishment
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Date: 2003-05-27 08:04 pm (UTC)