Halo, part 5

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Title: Halo, part 5
Pairing: Sean/Viggo
Rating: R
Warning: AU: Sean is a business man, Viggo a photographer in this fic.
Author: govi20
This fic is written for afra_schatz who made me two beautiful drawings, which I'll post below. I promised her to write a fic inspired by those drawings, well this is part 5. Thank you so much again dear Caro!

Part 1: here
Part 2: here
Part 3: here
Part 4: here

DISCLAIMER: I don't know these men, it never happened: it's all just in my head!

“Did you ever have a vision Sean? I mean like something making such an impression that you can’t let it go. I had mine when I was just a kid. Strange thing is I can’t remember when it happened or where, but it was like a revelation. “

“I am not sure what you mean; I don’t think I experienced something like that.’

“Well, as long as I can remember I’ve carried that image with me from someone standing on a beach with that sunlight right behind him, like on that picture.. I am not the kind of person who remembers people or events from his childhood very clearly. Those memories come more like flashes to me. As a child I lived in different countries, my father’s work causing us to travel around the world. I guess that’s one of the reasons.

But this was a very vivid image and it was clear to me I had to do something with that, pin it down so I could share it. I always liked to express myself in an artistic way, so I tried to paint it and even wrote about it. But the picture came closest. It’s not exactly what it should be, but close. And it got me hooked to the camera, made me discover what I really wanted to in life.. Gave me structure when I needed it most. I quess I made a lot of rubbish, but that picture is honest. It’s a part of me.

“So that’s why I won’t sell it, ever. Not even a copy of it.”

”That’s quite a story Vig, I can’t say something like that happened to me. I just have a flair for doing business and I like making money. Must sound horrible to you .”

“I made a mess of a lot of things in my life Sean, I’ve learned not to judge other people the hard way. You should do whatever you feel is right for you.”

“So, I am leaving tomorrow. Does that mean I won’t see you again?”

“If you ever come to L.A. again, sure!  I very much liked these two days.”

“But that’s it? You’re not interested in getting things a bit further?”

Viggo sighed: “Sean, it’s not that I am not interested, but to be honest, I am hopeless when it comes to relationships. I’ve tried and it’s just not for me. I doubt if it would work, especially with you on the other side of the world.”

“I am probably worse when it comes to relationships than you are, so I guess you’re right it won’t work. It’s just that I would like to know you better.”

“I am not trying to hurt your feelings, only being honest Sean.”

“Isn’t it funny: you’re the one talking about visions and revelations and yet you’re so down to earth? And me being the romantic.

“I think it’s California getting to you too Sean. You know, the sun and the beach and some crazy artist working himself into your trousers. It’s a common thing, you’ll get over it.”

“I guess I will have to go home without you or your bloody picture then.”

“Can I take some pictures of you? I would really like to. I wanted to from the moment I saw you in the gallery. I’ve made mental pictures of you already.”

“I am not sure Viggo: I am not much of a model. I never know where to look.”

“Don’t try to look Sean, you don’t need that. You’re just perfect, don’t feel awkward.”

Viggo stood up, taking his camera and started taking pictures.

“Come on Sean, get up. I would like to take some with the sun behind you.”

Because there were only the two of them he managed to relax. He stopped focusing on the camera and thought how he this morning at the gallery before Viggo came in he bought almost all of his pictures and arranged them to be shipped to England. That was one little piece of Viggo he would have.

Viggo was just clicking when the noticed the subtle change in Sean, noticed he was no longer that aware of the camera now and he started taking pictures more seriously. Suddenly something in Sean’s pose let him almost drop his camera and he sucked in his breath sharply.

"Sean? Could you spread your arms out and stretch your body?”

Sean grinned and did what was asked, body stretched taut.

Fuck, fuck, fuck… was all Viggo could think about, that’s it, that’s what I’ve been looking for, and he started shooting pictures until Sean grew tired of it and protested.

Lying down later they kissed, lazy at first, slowly heating. Giggling like schoolboys they rubbed their body’s together, sand chafing them, until they both cried out in pleasure.

The sun started fading and they picked up their stuff, walking back slowly. The car was already in sight when Viggo looked at him.

“I’ll give you that picture Sean. I don’t want to sell it to you; I just want you to have it.”

“But why? What made you change your mind?”

"I realized today I don’t longer need it Sean. It’s yours, please take it.”

How can I tell you I don’t need it any longer because I found the original? I don’t know if it was you standing on that beach; the sun casting that halo around your head and it’s not important, because for me it was you. Now that I’ve found it I know it’s more than I can deal with. So I will never tell you and it will stay what it was. A beautiful image.

~End~ 

Comments

[sheepyshop.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaaah ... *sniffles into hanky* that was very sweet. So they never actually find out - I wasn't expecting that but it's very effective!

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I am so glad you liked it sheepyshop!

[painted-horse.livejournal.com]

Sweetly-resigned Viggo twists my heart! An unexpected turn but very good. There's no reason for the usual "happily ever-after" or, in contrast, the "catastrophic-relationship-fic". This end has the colours of a soft sundown on a slightly overcast evening. Beautiful.

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for your kind f/b painted_horse: I really appreciate it!

[runriggers.livejournal.com]

So Viggo remembers and he is not going to tell Sean!!!! That's sort of mean, but romantic! Nice story!

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading and commenting

[elintirn.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's finished! Unexpected, but good way of keeping everybody on their toes, its good to surprise people sometimes! And I agree, you don't always need a happy ending to every story, I enjoyed this as it was!

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your comment: much appreciated!

[msdavidwenham.livejournal.com]

Viggo remembers but he is not telling Sean. I am glad that he has given the picture to Sean. He can always make another one with the pictures that he has just taken.

Sorry to see this story end here, but life don't always have a happy ending. Hopely your will write another tale where these two men meet again.

[govi20.livejournal.com]

I probably will: I am hopelessly addicted to VigBean writing! Thanks for the reading and commenting!

[angiepen.livejournal.com]

That's the end?!?!

Angie pokes her monitor hoping the rest of the story will fall out.

So... Viggo basically says to himself, "Wow, Sean is my perfect image of a person, all I've been searching for since I was a teenager, all I've been struggling to capture as an artist, everything I could ever want... but now that it's within my grasp I can't deal with it so whatever." And then he shakes Sean's hand and they walk away and never see each other again?

Huh.

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Yep... that's what you get from being too arty! It's not what (this) Viggo wants out of life I guess.

[angiepen.livejournal.com]

I'm not so much objecting to the "sad" or "artistic" ending. Rather, my problem here is that I don't feel where Viggo's coming from. You're hinging your entire story, the entire resolution of this one pivot point which had the power to change both these men's lives, on the fact that Viggo doesn't feel he can deal with getting the thing he's been searching for all his life.

Why? Why does he feel that way? What is he afraid will or might happen? What made him make that decision? This kind of story only works if I'm right there in Viggo's head, knowing what he knows and feeling what he feels. I need to understand where he's coming from and what the options are as he sees them and what the pluses and minuses are. I need to feel just how wrenching this decision is for him (and if it's not wrenching then it's not a strong enough incident to be the basis of a story) and when he makes the hard choice I, the reader, need to be right there hurting for him. Even if I end up disagreeing with him, I need to see and understand exactly why he decided what he did because that's what this kind of story is about.

I don't get any of that here. Viggo realizes that Sean's all he ever wanted, then decides he can't deal with it and that's the end. I want to be in his head and in his heart but instead I'm on the outside watching and what I see doesn't make any sense and isn't even very interesting.

You have the basis for a great story here but I think you need to go deeper into Viggo's character and show more of what went on inside him at the end there. But that's just my opinion.

Angie

[govi20.livejournal.com]

I understand what you mean, I quess what I was trying to say is that Viggo was not looking for Sean, or for love or something like that. He was trying to catch the beauty of that special moment. He was content with the picture, because it was close. Now he's got more grip on ot, or at least that's what he thinks.

He doesn't want Sean or the complications of a relationship, he settle for his art. In his way (I am talking about the Viggo in my story not about RL Viggo! )he's afraid I think. Afraid for commitment or the difficulties love brings along. I never wanted this story to end or in a happy end, or a dreadful drama. I've written nostalgic fluff with a little sharp edge and that's what I intended.

I hope that makes it more clear for you: I am not too good in explainig, sorry about that! I appreciate your comment.

[(Anonymous)]

This was beautiful ... simply beautiful. While I wasn't expecting this ending it was perfect. Thank you so much for sharing your talents.

Anonymous lurker

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot: I am glad you've enjoyed it!

[rotpunkt.livejournal.com]

Finally, I read it all in one go, and it gave me a few things to think about. As someone who thinks in images and loves images and pictures I partly understand that Viggo makes his choice for the "perfect moment caught in a perfect image" instead of dealing with reality, though I also find Angies points very interesting - and find it great that you deal that well with constructive criticism (but I knew you would, because you are cool!)
In any case, it's a very intriguing idea with some intense images.

[govi20.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the compliment rotpunkt! I can easily understand Angie's point of view, and in a way it would have been easier to write another ending. But I felt like it needed to be like this, so it's not something I really gave a lot of thought: it's what my instincts made me write. Hard to explain, but it's really as simple as that.