"The Ramblings of Sean Bean"
Aug. 2nd, 2006 05:58 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
rifleman-s.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleThis was written for a Drabble Challenge at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
adult_viggo , but ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nevanoon suggested it might be an idea to post it here, too. It’s the first thing I’ve posted since joining this community, and I’m thrilled to be able to do so, because Rugbytackle was the first ever slash community I found, not quite a year ago.
Title: The Ramblings of Sean Bean
Author:rifleman_s
Characters: Sean / Viggo / Mention of Orlando
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: This is pure fiction. What inspires Viggo’s art and poetry is known only to him.
Written for:adult_viggo Drabble Challenge No. 5
A/N:
Please be assured I intend no offence to Orlando’s admirers . . . for the record, I’m with you on “Communion”. But someone hinted at what follows in a story recently (I’m so sorry, but I can’t for the life of remember who it was – if it was YOU, I give you full credit for putting the idea into my head!) and it really intrigued me, so I thought I’d take it a little further. After all, there’s more than one way to skin a cat . . .
It’s a little longer than the usual Drabble length, so it’s behind the cut.
The Ramblings of Sean Bean
Based on this picture:
So, another meeting finished . . . one of those where you feel obliged to wear a suit and tie . . . okay, the image is good, but it’s also good when you can get out, light a cigarette, take the tie off and wend your way home!
I like the streets round here at this time of day . . . dusk’s closing in, creating mystical shadows to shroud these old buildings – stark, bleak outlines contrasting with the softly rolling clouds above. Damn, where did that come from?? I’m starting to sound like . . . him.
Him . . . it’s a while since I’ve seen him, but every now and then, at this ending time of day, the small memories come back and I smile softly as THAT poem comes to mind . . . you know, the one everyone’s sure he wrote for Orlando. But I know better . . .
Viggo, that’s his name. And he means the world to me. I was the one he turned to when he wanted some adult conversation; some company of the same age; some slow, thoughtful lovemaking; rather than the frenetic passion of youth and the bubbling conversation that often didn’t go anywhere. Ah yes . . . our midnight conversations. Sure, you could call it pillow-talk, but perhaps there was something more . . .
He’d mumble on about this and that, and he told me about growing up in the wide open spaces of Argentina and all the other places he’d lived. I’ll admit I didn’t take a lot of notice – being so sated after our passion was spent and all, and sometimes he digressed for long minutes, or spoke his poetic thoughts, or even lapsed into foreign languages without realising it, so it was hard to follow. At first I told him I thought poetry should rhyme anyway . . . it was easier to understand that way. But he just smiled that slow smile and moved on . . .
And so when I told him about my youth, surrounded by those dark satanic mills and Anglican values, I never expected he’d be listening so intently or even remember it. But then he’s Viggo . . . the method actor-cum-artist-cum-poet, and he’s different . . .
“Sean Bean, what do you mean, ‘Anglican’?” he asked. He always called me that. Sean Bean. Never just Sean or Beanie like everyone else, or even a pet name. “Sean Bean” he always said. I asked him why, once, and he said it was for the symmetry.
“Symmetry!”, I snorted, “listen : S-H-A-U-N B-E-A-N is hardly symmetry”.
“Don’t say it”, he said. “Look at it. See it. Observe it with an artist’s eye : S-E-A-N B-E-A-N; it’s perfect”.
So, that name put together as a gimmick by a Jack-the-Lad straight out of drama school was now the subject of an artist’s vision . . . who’d have guessed?
So I did try to explain what I meant by Anglican . . . it came out a bit garbled and I was going on about growing up in a place where people’s narrow outlook meant having to deny all my inner passions and the person I really wanted to be . . . and how being born in 1959 was 30 years or so too soon . . . and how full of wonder I was at being there in that place, free at last to express myself at this stage in my life!
He said, “I think you mean ‘Anglo-Saxon’ attitudes”.
“Maybe”, I said, “but in my mind the word’s Anglican!”
So while I forgot most of what he revealed – or, in truth, usually lost the thread of it anyway – he must have remembered our pillow-talks and they sank into that unfathomable brain of his, to re-surface . . .
A year or so after we left New Zealand, he sent me a book – a book of photographs, paintings and poetry. Yes, that’s right . . . he’d recorded everything for the world to see!
Ah, but did the world see?
Of course, everyone marked time when they reached the poem “Communion”. Notice anything familiar? The word “Bloom” was the one everyone paused at. And speculated on. And was sure they knew the meaning of. But me . . .after the communion Viggo and I shared, what was I to think when I read that?
Starting out, it was just another Viggo poem, until that word . . . that word that glowed like a beacon . . . I almost gave up reading then, the stab of jealousy was too much. But then, out of nowhere, I swear I heard Viggo saying to me, “Don’t say it. Look at it. See it. Observe it with an artist’s eye” . . . and I knew I had to continue. Eighteen lines later I crumpled into tears. Yes – me in tears. For there it was . . . ”…in the unlit Anglican doorway”. At that moment I knew. Viggo hadn’t put Orlando into a poem, he’d put our midnight ramblings into a poem.
The ‘unlit’ attitudes I’d grown up with; the ‘Anglican’ attitudes I’d put up with; and Viggo my doorway out of there . . . After I’d calmed down a bit, I went back to the beginning and heard – no, saw – Viggo talking to me. So then I went looking further . . . and I’m still not sure, but I think there’s another message in one of the paintings, too. He calls it “Self Portrait, April”. Well . . . that’s my birthday month, and if you look in the top right hand corner, there’s a number 59 . . .
I’m really glad I didn’t stop reading there. When I got to the end of the book, there was the typical Viggo eccentricity – not for him to made a dedication inside the front cover! No . . . he’d signed the last page of the book, hadn’t he! Yeah – right there, next to that quotation from Kant, “Seek not the favour of the multitude…”, he’d written this –
To Sean Bean who has rhyme but not reason
from Viggo Mortensen who has reason but not rhyme.
Ah well . . . it’s late now, darkness has closed in around these Anglican buildings, so I’ll push off home. Funny, though, how they always make me think of him . . . maybe I’ll give him a call . . .
End.
adult_viggo , but nevanoon suggested it might be an idea to post it here, too. It’s the first thing I’ve posted since joining this community, and I’m thrilled to be able to do so, because Rugbytackle was the first ever slash community I found, not quite a year ago. Title: The Ramblings of Sean Bean
Author:
rifleman_sCharacters: Sean / Viggo / Mention of Orlando
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: This is pure fiction. What inspires Viggo’s art and poetry is known only to him.
Written for:
adult_viggo Drabble Challenge No. 5A/N:
Please be assured I intend no offence to Orlando’s admirers . . . for the record, I’m with you on “Communion”. But someone hinted at what follows in a story recently (I’m so sorry, but I can’t for the life of remember who it was – if it was YOU, I give you full credit for putting the idea into my head!) and it really intrigued me, so I thought I’d take it a little further. After all, there’s more than one way to skin a cat . . .
It’s a little longer than the usual Drabble length, so it’s behind the cut.
The Ramblings of Sean Bean
Based on this picture:
So, another meeting finished . . . one of those where you feel obliged to wear a suit and tie . . . okay, the image is good, but it’s also good when you can get out, light a cigarette, take the tie off and wend your way home!
I like the streets round here at this time of day . . . dusk’s closing in, creating mystical shadows to shroud these old buildings – stark, bleak outlines contrasting with the softly rolling clouds above. Damn, where did that come from?? I’m starting to sound like . . . him.
Him . . . it’s a while since I’ve seen him, but every now and then, at this ending time of day, the small memories come back and I smile softly as THAT poem comes to mind . . . you know, the one everyone’s sure he wrote for Orlando. But I know better . . .
Viggo, that’s his name. And he means the world to me. I was the one he turned to when he wanted some adult conversation; some company of the same age; some slow, thoughtful lovemaking; rather than the frenetic passion of youth and the bubbling conversation that often didn’t go anywhere. Ah yes . . . our midnight conversations. Sure, you could call it pillow-talk, but perhaps there was something more . . .
He’d mumble on about this and that, and he told me about growing up in the wide open spaces of Argentina and all the other places he’d lived. I’ll admit I didn’t take a lot of notice – being so sated after our passion was spent and all, and sometimes he digressed for long minutes, or spoke his poetic thoughts, or even lapsed into foreign languages without realising it, so it was hard to follow. At first I told him I thought poetry should rhyme anyway . . . it was easier to understand that way. But he just smiled that slow smile and moved on . . .
And so when I told him about my youth, surrounded by those dark satanic mills and Anglican values, I never expected he’d be listening so intently or even remember it. But then he’s Viggo . . . the method actor-cum-artist-cum-poet, and he’s different . . .
“Sean Bean, what do you mean, ‘Anglican’?” he asked. He always called me that. Sean Bean. Never just Sean or Beanie like everyone else, or even a pet name. “Sean Bean” he always said. I asked him why, once, and he said it was for the symmetry.
“Symmetry!”, I snorted, “listen : S-H-A-U-N B-E-A-N is hardly symmetry”.
“Don’t say it”, he said. “Look at it. See it. Observe it with an artist’s eye : S-E-A-N B-E-A-N; it’s perfect”.
So, that name put together as a gimmick by a Jack-the-Lad straight out of drama school was now the subject of an artist’s vision . . . who’d have guessed?
So I did try to explain what I meant by Anglican . . . it came out a bit garbled and I was going on about growing up in a place where people’s narrow outlook meant having to deny all my inner passions and the person I really wanted to be . . . and how being born in 1959 was 30 years or so too soon . . . and how full of wonder I was at being there in that place, free at last to express myself at this stage in my life!
He said, “I think you mean ‘Anglo-Saxon’ attitudes”.
“Maybe”, I said, “but in my mind the word’s Anglican!”
So while I forgot most of what he revealed – or, in truth, usually lost the thread of it anyway – he must have remembered our pillow-talks and they sank into that unfathomable brain of his, to re-surface . . .
A year or so after we left New Zealand, he sent me a book – a book of photographs, paintings and poetry. Yes, that’s right . . . he’d recorded everything for the world to see!
Ah, but did the world see?
Of course, everyone marked time when they reached the poem “Communion”. Notice anything familiar? The word “Bloom” was the one everyone paused at. And speculated on. And was sure they knew the meaning of. But me . . .after the communion Viggo and I shared, what was I to think when I read that?
Starting out, it was just another Viggo poem, until that word . . . that word that glowed like a beacon . . . I almost gave up reading then, the stab of jealousy was too much. But then, out of nowhere, I swear I heard Viggo saying to me, “Don’t say it. Look at it. See it. Observe it with an artist’s eye” . . . and I knew I had to continue. Eighteen lines later I crumpled into tears. Yes – me in tears. For there it was . . . ”…in the unlit Anglican doorway”. At that moment I knew. Viggo hadn’t put Orlando into a poem, he’d put our midnight ramblings into a poem.
The ‘unlit’ attitudes I’d grown up with; the ‘Anglican’ attitudes I’d put up with; and Viggo my doorway out of there . . . After I’d calmed down a bit, I went back to the beginning and heard – no, saw – Viggo talking to me. So then I went looking further . . . and I’m still not sure, but I think there’s another message in one of the paintings, too. He calls it “Self Portrait, April”. Well . . . that’s my birthday month, and if you look in the top right hand corner, there’s a number 59 . . .
I’m really glad I didn’t stop reading there. When I got to the end of the book, there was the typical Viggo eccentricity – not for him to made a dedication inside the front cover! No . . . he’d signed the last page of the book, hadn’t he! Yeah – right there, next to that quotation from Kant, “Seek not the favour of the multitude…”, he’d written this –
To Sean Bean who has rhyme but not reason
from Viggo Mortensen who has reason but not rhyme.
Ah well . . . it’s late now, darkness has closed in around these Anglican buildings, so I’ll push off home. Funny, though, how they always make me think of him . . . maybe I’ll give him a call . . .
End.
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 09:26 am (UTC)(PS. While we're speaking - may I just congratulate you on the absolutely stunning pictures you drew for the story "Halo" - they're just breathtaking!).
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 09:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 05:39 pm (UTC)Lovely piece of work :)
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 09:30 am (UTC)I did enjoy writing it once I'd found the voice, so it was great that you noticed that.
Thanks for reading, and for the lovely comment.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 10:19 am (UTC)Thanks for commenting.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-02 10:20 pm (UTC)And like others have said, I can actually imagine what you've written being Sean's thoughts.
Yep, I liked this quite a lot!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 10:34 am (UTC)Thank you so much - it's wonderful to see what different people make of these stories and I think you're the first person who's picked up on the dedication part. It's nice to know what different parts 'speak' to different people.
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 01:17 am (UTC)However, a few years ago I was talking to
Oh well! My personal theory is that Viggo had something with both Sean and Orlando. We'll never know for sure in real life (unless Vig or someone comes out) so it'll remain as pure speculation until then.
Thanks for writing such a nice fic and bringing up this interesting topic again!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 10:48 am (UTC)I came to these communities and LOTR very late - way after all the stories, articles, etc, so I'm still learning. I didn't know about the road trip to the South Island, so am doubly grateful to you - for your wonderful comments and compliments, and for filling in a little more of their history for me! It just makes what I wrote that bit more special, knowing there's so much more of a connection than ever I could have guessed! I was just thinking about Church buildings in the UK - never realising they'd explored them in NZ too!!! How wonderful . . . learning something new every day!
I'm with your "theory" too - at least it would be wonderful if it were true . . . we can live in hope!
Thanks again for the extra bit of history - I love to learn more about their time in NZ whenever I can.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 04:13 pm (UTC)Even though I've been a fan of Vig/Sean and LOTR RPS in general for some time, I'm still learning new things everyday about them and the fandom in general, and it's always great to discuss stuff with people and speculate on theories (aka gossip ;) so I completely enjoyed both this fic and my mini-discussion with you ;)
Now I'm off to read your new fic, Well Met. Oh, and for the record, I completely adore the other fic you posted that had the La Selva painting in it - I really loved the interpretation that the blue and green colours were the representation of Vig and Sean's eye colour. I squee-ed towards the end when you said the painting really existed! Just wonderful stuff. My apologies for not commenting on that fic itself, because I'm the laziest person in the world ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 08:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 08:10 am (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed both stories - I've only written a few drabbles before; these were my first two of a longer length, and it's very encouraging to have them so well received. And yes, the painting's one of my very favourites!!
Thanks again for your lovely compliments.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 10:51 am (UTC)It's difficult to get into someone else's 'head', but I'd like to think he maybe did have some happy memories like these!
:D
no subject
Date: 2006-08-03 05:27 pm (UTC)I like the concept that even though they're not romantically together now, there are no regrets, and they're still friends.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-04 08:19 am (UTC)Like you, I like to walk and ponder, so it seemed natural to project it onto Sean; he seems like a 'rambler' at times!!
And the "no regrets" was the sort of look he had on his face . . . glad you liked it!