Fic: The Fountains of Life
Sep. 20th, 2006 01:11 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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rugbytackleTitle: The Fountains of Life
Chapter 1: The Car
Pairing: SB/VM
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: A work of fiction, not reality…but you can’t have everything. Completely daft and shouldn’t be taken seriously by anyone.
Summary: A trip to the mountains ends before it really starts, stranding Viggo and Sean in the Great Outdoors with nothing more than a backpack, a few chocolate bars and more than their fair share of goose-bumps. Can they make it back to civilisation without either killing themselves or falling prey to a squirrel plot?
This chapter has been written for Vehicle Week at Adventures_In. Work is unbeta’d, apologises for any mistakes.
*
“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountain is going home; that wildness is necessity; that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life.”
-John Muir
*
There were many places where it would have been romantic to find yourself cast adrift in the sea of the natural world, to enjoy nature as it was intended with the birds singing in the trees and the breeze on your skin and the brook babbling and the squirrels playing with their nuts … okay, that last one probably wasn’t going to hit the lyrics of any romantic song any time soon but that was not the point. The point was that it was natural, it was good, and it was peaceful.
When it was drizzling, the clouds were grey, the wind wasn’t so much kissing you as shoving its tongue down your throat and your car was broken down miles from absolutely nowhere, the romance kinda died a little.
Sean huddled himself in the front seat of the car with both his and Viggo’s coats wrapped around him, shivering enough that it was beginning to seriously disrupt reading his book which he had thankfully brought along. In front of him Viggo was continuing to tinker with the car’s engine, the tell-tale sound of the thump-clank-curse showing that the repairs were perhaps not being as useful as they might have been.
Finally an oil splattered Viggo moved towards the window and gave a little tap on the side with his knuckles. Sean eyed him for a moment then grudgingly slid a hand out of his cosy blanket shields and rolled down the window.
“ It’s broken,” offered Viggo.
“ Yes, I know. I’ve already had a look, remember?” Sean was in no mood to be forgiving. Viggo completely ignored this complaint and studied the road behind them thoughtfully with a terrifying look in his eye that suggested that the word ‘walk’ was only two seconds away from being said. Sean groaned and almost rolled the window back up again. They were bloody miles from anywhere and the roads were long, winding and not always downhill. Fuck that. “ No,”
“ You don’t know what I was going to say,” Viggo replied mildly. “ I could be simply considering walking back to a garage and getting the necessary parts to fix it.”
“ Vig, the fucking fucker’s fucked to hell and back,” snapped Sean crossly. “ It’s not going to need a part, it’s going to need the entirety of the world’s faith praying for it!”
Viggo rubbed his chin with a hand which sadly was also covered in grease and oil and therefore left quite a mark. He sighed gently in the not particularly bothered manner of someone who was disappointed to find that his sandwich was egg and not ham, and folded his arms.
“ I guess this is what comes of putting your faith in fate,” he commented. Sean rolled his eyes.
“ No, this is what comes of putting your money in a death-trap money pit of a rust bucket and assuming blindly that it’s not going to pack up on you in the middle of the damned mountains where there’s no mobile signal!”
“ Oh, actually the mobile’s not a problem,” Viggo’s voice was cheerful.
Sean’s eyes narrowed. “ Why not?”
“ Because I didn’t pick it up. Its sitting on the sideboard at home,” The fact that he had a death-glare aimed at him obviously registered. “ What? There is no point in coming out here to enjoy the peace and quiet of the countryside if you’re getting messages constantly. And you know that would be what happens, none of the kids can go two seconds without texting someone,”
There was a silence that even the wind didn’t dare interrupt. Sean finally dragged his gaze away from Viggo’s honestly surprised expression to glare out the windscreen. Teeth were ground.
“ So what exactly did you have in mind?” he snarled. “ It’s fucking cold, we’re fucking miles away from the nearest settlement, and we have limited fucking .. everything,”
“ Including vocabulary, I notice,” sighed Viggo. “ It’s not that fair back to walk if you go cross-country,”
“ You have to be fu.. bloody kidding me!” Sean stared back at him incredulously. “ I’m not going out there at this time of day! I watched the Blair Witch Project you know,”
Viggo looked at him. “ You’re just wanting to avoid the walking aren’t you?” he said patiently. There was a sheepish expression on the blonde’s face that suggested that Viggo’s question had hit a fair amount of accuracy. Sean sighed and looked back at the windscreen grumpily.
“ Well, I guess we can wait for the others to come rescue us if you’re not in the mood to walk,” Viggo shrugged. “ I left details with Astin who is bound to find us as … soon.. as….,” he trailed off and gave Sean a suspicious look. “ Ok, what is that expression on your face for, Bean?”
Green eyes flickered to back to him and then resumed their thoughtful assessment of the road ahead. Sean grinned a little, then looked at the mirror to the road behind. Yes, that definitely had possibilities… Not great possibilities, it had to be said, but enough possibilities to suggest that walking might not be their only option. After all, he walked far too much during filming. To do it on his day off was just a step too far.
Dumping the coats in the foot-well of the vehicle, Sean got out the car and wandered towards the bonnet, slamming it shut and assessing the road again. Definitely potential there. He nodded to himself and waved Viggo towards the passenger seat.
“ In,” he instructed, then rolled his eyes as Viggo did nothing more than raise an eyebrow at him. Sean waved an arm expressively. “ In,” he insisted.
“ You’re up to something,” Viggo raised his head and gave him a particular hard look that could happily compete against the structure of diamonds. Sean sighed wearily. Sometimes Viggo just wasn’t that bright.
“ Of course I’m up to something. That’s what I do. Now, get in the ruddy car before I leave you here,” the gesture looked like it was about to get a little ruder. Viggo blinked, took in the obviously battered state of the car, then looked pointedly back at Sean.
“ Uh, car is still requiring repairs you realise,” he pointed out.
“ No, car is requiring a miracle. I know it’s buggered, thanks. Just get in and leave the worrying to me, ok?” Sean waited until Viggo had slid into the passenger seat before he pushed the door shut with a little click. Getting into the other side, he rubbed his hands together in a vague attempt of both cunningness and warmth, and glanced out the window again. Still no other cars on the road. Yeah, they were shoved deep in the arse end of the universe here, in true Viggo style. Viggo obviously was a firm believer that hell was other people; Sean was just aware that other people supplied the cigarettes and allowed him the freedom not to have to cook his own meals.
“ You know, you scare me on occasion,” commented Viggo, who was still suspicious. Sean snorted amusement and readjusted the seat to compensate for Viggo’s ridiculously long legs.
“ Only sometimes? I’ve really got to work on that,” Having adjusted the chair to something reasonable for normal people, Sean leant around to have a better vision out the back window and calmly released the handbrake. Minus the only brake that was keeping it still, the car slowly began to roll backwards.
Viggo watched Sean for a few incredulous moments, then glanced out the back himself where the countryside was slowly but steadily moving past them, proof that a Bean would do anything to avoid the need to walk.
“ You do realise that it’s not downhill for the entirety of the roads, don’t you?” he asked in faint curiosity.
“ We’re moving. It’s a start,” replied Sean, his eyes not moving from the view out the back. “ And don’t distract me.”
Viggo shrugged and remained silent as they rumbled and rolled their way down the somewhat bumpy mountain road, Sean humming the tune to the Great Escape under his breath as the car picked up a little speed down a more than gradual slope. The corners were more vicious than the average road but Sean was making reasonable judgement calls on them, and there was a possibility, just a slim possibility, that they might be able to get to the point where even Sean could accept that they could walk to civilisation.
“ Ah, momentum. You gotta love it-,” Sean began when something large, furry and brown flashed out of the forest immediately in front of the now vaguely speedy vehicle. Viggo’s warning shout was completely ignored as Sean instinctively swerved the car away from hitting the deer, only for a tree to loom out of the non-existent darkness.
“ SHIT!!!”
There was a crash, a thump, and some gentle ticking that sounded as though the crocodile from Peter Pan had come for a visit. And then silence fell over the car again, both occupants staring at the spider-web cracked back window behind them as though faced with a full grown yeti. Finally Viggo turned his head towards the white faced Sean and studied him in interest.
“ Bean,” he said. “ Have you just crashed another of my cars?”
No response. Viggo raised an eyebrow and waved a hand in front of Sean’s eyes. Finally, moving as slowly as a zombie in a movie just without the neck creaks, Sean turned his head to look at him in honest bewilderment.
“ When did we order the tree?”
Viggo stared at him for a moment longer before chuckling, giving him a quick gentle clip round the ear before unclipping his safety belt and focusing on the driver’s condition.
“ You hurt, my little idiot?” his hand gently massaged Sean’s shoulder. “ No whiplash or muscle pain or anything else that appears on daytime television advertisements?”
Sean shook his head, paused, rotated it and finished with a jiggle of the shoulders. His neck was slightly stiff but then again that might also be from the cold rather than the jolt, which thankfully hadn’t been that fast. Groaning slightly, he attempted to open the door which for some reason refused to budge. Unfastening his seatbelt, Sean swivelled in the chair and booted the door several times with a foot until the car finally gave up the ghost and it creaked open. There was little crunch and something fell off the vehicle with a tinkle-tinkle.
Having assessed the damage and moved onto hands and knees to check the fuel tank hadn’t ruptured or anything else that tended to end up on an episode of the A-Team, Sean got up again and began to brush off the bits of pine-cone and random forest crap that had decided to stick to the material over his knees.
“ I’m impressed. I’ve managed to make a crap car even crapper,” he commented, then gave Viggo a bright smile as the man got out of the vehicle and looked across at him. “ Sorry about that,”
Viggo sighed through his teeth and drummed his fingers on the top of the car, giving a look at the essentially caved in rear of the vehicle and completely dismissing the idea that they could get the vehicle out without a lot of assistance. “ Right. So we’re still stuck out here and now the car is going to require specialist equipment to get it away from the tree. Am I missing something?”
“ We’re off the road as well,” offered Sean. Viggo sighed.
“ Ah yes, and our visibility to other road users is suddenly a little more problematic,” the fingers continued to drum their little marching pattern. “ You know, next time you have a good idea, don’t, there’s a good boy.” He sighed and stopped the drumming. “ Well, I guess we should consider starting to walk back to town,”
“ Its getting dark!” protested Sean. “ And its bloody cold already!”
“ We’re near the mountains. It does that,” replied Viggo patiently. “ And I don’t think we have a choice unless you have a burning desire to stay out here for the night,”
Sean looked around the little section of woodland that they found themselves in, back at the broken car and then at Viggo. A grin slowly found its way onto his expression before Sean strolled towards the tree and began to pick up branches from the floor, watched in faint bafflement by Viggo. The older man licked his lip and leant forward.
“ Sean,” he said slowly. “ You hate camping, remember?”
“ You got any matches?” Sean was determined not to pay the worry wart too much attention in his search for further branches. Viggo sighed and looked upwards at the overhanging branches for a moment before returning his gaze to the figure of the blonde who was still collecting wood.
“ I have a lighter. As do you,” he said dryly. “ And don’t you dare try to say you don’t smoke. You can swallow as many mints as you want and gargle with two litres of mouthwash per day but you still have that particular aroma. And,” Viggo added when Sean opened his mouth to protest. “ I found your supply of cigarettes behind the books in the spare room,”
The protest hesitated for sheer self preservation. Sean immediately went back to picking up his branches.
“ Did you?” he kept his voice matter of fact.
“ I did.”
Silence. Plenty of silence. Tons of silence. So much silence you could slice it and use it to fully wallpaper a mansion. Sean kept his eyes on the ground, which at least was good for the supply of firewood that began to increase in number at the same rate as bunnies did in the breeding season.
“ I’m not going to apologise,” Sean said finally, shaking a stick which had a beetle on it before adding it to the pile under his arm. No comment from Viggo.
“ It’s my life. I don’t smoke in the house either,” continued Sean.
Still no comment from Viggo. Sean refused to look towards him. The woodpile continued to grow.
“ Its only the occasional one or two anyway,” Sean maintained.
The silence settled down for a long term stay. More wood appeared.
“ Barely more than four a day and that’s only in social situations,” Sean’s explanation was getting a wave of the hand as decoration.
The silence opened up the metaphorical newspaper and began to read. Sean growled to himself, dumped the wood in a dry spot under a tree and went to find some more.
“ I’m even cutting back,” he added, defensively.
Viggo stretched idly. “ Sean,” he said finally. Sean stopped and sighed, rubbing his forehead with his arm and shivering slightly as a cold breeze drifted past him.
“ Okay, I’m sorry for not telling you,” he said finally without looking back at Viggo. “ Its just … I didn’t really want the hassle and I knew what you’d say,”
Viggo shrugged slightly and continued to watch him. “ Sean,” he said again. “ You do realise-,”
“ Okay, okay, I’m sorry for smoking, right? I just like it for god’s sake!”
There was a little nod from Viggo, who scratched the side of his face and watched Sean calmly.
“ Sean, I appreciate your apology but-,”
“ But?” Sean finally looked up at him and dumped the additional wood he had collected onto the woodpile. “ I apologise and you say but? What the hell else d’you want me to do? Okay, fine, I’ll get rid of the cigarettes when we get back,”
“ That’s not-,”
“ –good enough? For god’s sake Vig! You want blood as well?” Sean folded his arms and scowled at him. Viggo waited until the outburst had died back again and gave him a winning smile.
“ What I was trying to say was to point out you have a spider the size of an arrow head sitting on your arm,” Viggo’s finger pointed towards it. “ Just there. See?”
An additional five minutes went past with Sean bouncing around the clearing brushing off his arm frantically and jumping around the leafy ground as though he was trying to remain off the ground for as long as possible. Which, of course, he was. The spider disappeared to pastures new and less energetic but this didn’t stop Sean’s little maypole dance of horror which Viggo watched in pure fascination.
“ You done?” he queried after Sean appeared to have halted, the blonde’s breathing so fast and hard Viggo could hear each gasp for air. There was a one finger gesture in his general direction. Viggo chuckled to himself and opened the car door which creaked. Sean raised his head and frowned towards him.
“ Vig, what are you doing?” he asked suspiciously. “ That car’s going nowhere,”
“ Yes, you certainly made sure of that,” agreed Viggo. “ And the chances of you sleeping on that ground with all the creepy crawlies is probably minimal so therefore I think it is prudent to consider the back seat as our temporary tent before we set out early tomorrow morning,”
Sean eyed Viggo then eyed the “temporary tent” which was still looking damned uncomfortable as far as he was concerned. And cold. And knobbly. And not enough room to allow his legs to stretch out, even if they did fiddle with the back seats.
“ I’m not sure whether that’s any better than the floor,” he commented. “ It’s … small,”
“ It’s not the size that matters, Sean. It’s the spiders,” replied Viggo patiently, and tapped the top of the door with a hand. “ So, I’m sure we can turn this little car into a travelling motel of luxury proportions. I even have chocolate bars,”
“ That’s not the point…,” Sean trailed off as the words penetrated and glanced up. “ Chocolate? You have chocolate?”
“ Good source of energy, chocolate,” confirmed Viggo. “ Of course I have chocolate. I’m not stupid,”
“ I don’t remember seeing that in the bag,” Sean frowned. “ Where did you hide it?”
Viggo rolled his eyes and leant against the door a little more. “ I just told you, Sean. I’m not stupid.” He replied patiently. “ Anyway. You coming or what?”
Sean’s eyebrows rose, glancing around at the darkening but nowhere near dark enough forest area and then back at Viggo. Obviously someone was getting impatient with nature, although he didn’t entirely blame him. He always held suspicions about squirrels, with their bright little eyes and their bushy tails and their ability to always find some hidden nuts. If squirrels were gay men, they would be remarkably efficient in their social life.
“ It’s not night,” Sean pointed out finally.
“ I’m not intending to sleep,” Viggo raised an eyebrow of his own and patted the door in a manner that was somewhat reminiscent of a Lassie owner. “ Come on. We’ve got to do something to increase our warmth in the face of a lack of blankets and an abundance of spiders,”
It took five seconds for the meaning to sink in, the blonde staring at him incredulously. “ You filthy bugger!”
Viggo was completely unabashed by the labelling and simply raised the eyebrow a little further. “ Like you wouldn’t jump at the chance? Look, there’s only so long I want to stand here holding open the door. Either get with the programme or start getting friendly with the local spider population. And trust me,” the grin widened further. “ They don’t tend to have chocolate,”
Green eyes studied Viggo, then moved to the back seat, then looked back again. “ I’m sure there’s rules against messing around in the back seat when you’re past twenty,” he objected. “ And we’re well past twenty.”
“ Did I sign that contract?” This was most unusual. Ordinarily whenever sex was mentioned, indicated or even formed part of another word Sean’s ears pricked up so much he looked like he should belong on Star Trek as one of the Vulcans. Obviously the fresh air had managed to stimulate places that really weren’t normally stimulated, in this case tact and dignity. It was bloody annoying.
“ That’s not the point. We’re going to get cramp. And,” he added, when it was clear from Viggo’s expression that cramp really wasn’t a big thing in the great scheme of things. “ we’ve got no lube. Unless you happened to bring it with the chocolate,” he added dryly.
“ I don’t carry lube with chocolate. It’s not hygienic,” replied Viggo patiently. “ However, all we need is a lubricant and we have that,”
Sean blinked. “ We do?”
“ We do,”
The universe paused for a moment just to listen. Sean frowned at him then folded his arms. “ What, exactly?”
“ What happened to the art of surprise?” Viggo sighed, rubbing his forehead.
“ Surprise is so last century and completely banned ever since you did that whole underwear thing. Come on. Spill it. Well, not spill it literally, but you know what I mean. Confess,” if there had been a surface which wasn’t covered in ants Sean would have slapped his hand down in a dramatic fashion.
“ Confess? You turning into the Spanish Inquisition?” Viggo’s head cocked on one side. “ Although I could really see you in a red robe-,”
“ NO!” The day was bad enough without red robes or other dress look-alikes turning up. Sean growled softly and walked a little further, eying the back seat as though there was a possibility that it would turn into a large toothed monster, and then looked at Viggo who was still remarkably lube-free. He sighed. “ Well?”
“ Very, thanks for asking,” Viggo smiled and moved towards the front of the car. “ As for lube, I’m sure some oil would be perfectly fine-“
Sean’s head snapped up. Engine oil? Fuck that. Well, don’t fuck that anyway. He dreaded to think about how long it would take to try and get oil out of bodily areas. Viggo noticed the expression and chuckled to himself.
“ Kidding,” he advised. “ Don’t sweat the small stuff. I’ve got other lubrication choices. Ketchup, for example,”
Sean looked at him strangely. “ Vig, what the hell is it with you and ketchup? Any one would think you’d signed a contract with Heinz or something,”
Viggo sighed softly and stepped forward, running his hand along a highly suspicious Sean’s arm and giving him a pleasant little smile. Sean was suspicious of pleasant little smiles. They normally accompanied completely unpleasant situations, or at least situations with plenty of rope involved. Or, indeed, leather. Or … well, yes. If he listed every single little perversion Viggo had he would be there for the next year.
By the next longer, more pointed, sigh, it was clear that Sean’s thoughts were a little too clear. Patiently, Viggo started to unbutton Sean’s shirt with the expression of a mother readjusting her offspring’s tie.
“ Hang on a tick, it’s damn cold out here!” protested Sean who had been vowing to keep as much on as possible to fight against nature’s attempts to freeze his balls off. This, however, made no difference to Viggo’s movements. The hand giving Viggo a slap on his backside did, with an echo that seemed to threaten avalanches. On the basis that there wasn’t actually any snow about, this was impressive indeed.
“ Look,” Viggo said with weary patience. “ You can’t fuck with your clothes on. That’s taking safe sex too far,”
“ All I need to do is shift said clothing a little and then it’ll be fine,” protested Sean, sulking slightly. “ Okay, so there’s likely to be more washing than normal but I’m sure it’ll be fine,”
Viggo’s expression obviously begged to differ. Said expression was always shouting about its opinions, being an awkward bugger. Sean would have sulked further had it not been for the fact that Viggo clearly ran out of patience, slamming the blonde against the car and kissing him deeply enough that the fact that bare skin was at the mercy of the elements was buried deep in the back of Sean’s mind. Automatically he returned it with a sigh and a growl and a lot of enthusiasm. When it came to the Bean Manual Viggo had obviously been swotting up, although Sean had a sneaking suspicion the test was only going to be a multiple choice one set at playschool level.
“ Vig,” he managed when the kiss paused for a little oxygen. The older man allowed his head to move back a few millimetres simply to allow speech, the heat of his breath causing untold shivers to run down Sean’s back which was a bastard of a way to win an argument. Okay, so it was efficient, but it was … cheating for god’s sake!
“ Hmmmm?” Viggo studied him lazily.
“ .. not fair…,”
“ Hmmmm,” By the tone, this was possibly an agreement, but then again it offered some more warm breath and the shivers started their exercises down the spinal run again. Sean closed his eyes briefly then refocused.
“ .. still can’t..,” he said weakly.
“ Hmmmm?” The tone mocked this suggestion.
“ … you know we can’t…,”
“ Hmmmm,” The tone knew no such thing. Another kiss added to the mix, a long, lingering one that increased the shiver traffic down Sean’s back; obviously his boots was an excellent place to visit at the moment. Viggo’s tongue lazily explored Sean’s mouth, the kiss getting deeper and deeper until it probably needed mining permits. The blonde had no idea when Viggo’s hand had managed to end up on his thigh but there it was and it was slowly squeezing in a rhythmic fashion, over and over again until Sean was sure he was being hypnotised.
“ … the car you say…?” Sean panted.
“ Hmmmmm,” The tone was obviously polite enough not to point out the fact that there wasn’t exactly anywhere else to start exploring sexual activity unless they seriously wanted to increase the possibility of splinters up the backside. Sean found himself carefully moved back towards the back seat; as the car pressed against the back of his calves, he decided to give up on the whole protesting front. Viggo never listened to him anyway, and the longer he protested, the longer he was both draughty and sex-free.
“ This is incredibly undignified you realise,” he grumbled as he got into the back of the car and rolled to lie on his back. “ And we’re too large for this. There’s a reason why teenagers specialise in this sort of movement you know. They haven’t got anywhere else to do it and they’re less likely to accidentally abuse the gear stick. And that was not a suggestion, take that expression off your face!”
“ You crashed my car,” Viggo pointed out mildly. “ You owe me,”
“ I owe you?” Sean repeated, raised an eyebrow at the implications. Viggo snorted.
“ I’d be happy with you just shutting up, sweetheart,” a lazy grin aimed itself at him. “ You’ve got enough hot air to fully inflate one of Richard Branson’s balloons. However, since your mind is drifting that way…,”
Viggo was already unbuckling the blonde’s belt and undoing the buttons whilst he was speaking. Sean watched him for a moment, the next few words turning into a yelp as the brunette slid his hands under Sean’s hips and dragged him a little further towards him. The yelp turned into one of indignation as his trousers were tugged downwards in a not particularly subtle hint to get them removed.
“ Vig, its still cold,” Sean protested. Viggo sighed and changed the movement to one of flipping him over, Sean suddenly finding himself a mouthful of old but clean vehicle upholstery. His back arched as the coolness of the air suddenly found a new surface to chill, namely his backside, as Viggo yanked down the trousers a little further.
“ You know, you’d be warmer if you tried that obviously little known piece of clothing called underwear,” commented Viggo. “ You go commando so much I’m surprised the British Army aren’t paying you a salary,”
Sean squirmed on the seat and ignored the comment in the face of such artic conditions. “ This is undignified!”
“ Yeah, probably is,” agreed Viggo, his warm hands stroking skin which had managed to be both hot and cold at the same time. Sean groaned softly, his hands clenching on the seat, nails trying to rip through. Suddenly a thought made him lift his head and glance over his shoulder.
“ Lube?” he said in a pointed manner.
“ You say the sweetest things, love,” Viggo smiled back at him, completely unconcerned. Well, he probably wouldn’t be, this wasn’t after all his arse on the literal line. Sean growled softly, the last part of it hitching as hands gently stroked into the more sensitive areas of his body. Why these more sensitive areas of his body were the only things exposed to the wilderness was another question and a good question, but these questions were completely overcome by the fact that Viggo’s hands had come back and, by god, were creeping closer and closer until-
“ ARRRRGGGGHHHH HOLY FUCK!!!”
Every animal for five miles suddenly vanished into holes, burrows or anything else that happened to be suitable. Viggo finally opened his eyes again and gave Sean a rueful smile.
“ I take it the lube was cold then?”
“ Cold?! It was like shoving a fucking icicle up there!!” Sean squirmed further, which was spoilt by Viggo’s other hand firmly remaining in the small of his back. Viggo sighed and gently began to move his finger, the digit having been smeared with the lube he had been carrying around with him as emergency precaution. Sean groaned softly and let his head fall back down to the back seats whose foam had seen better days, feeling the finger slowly beginning to circle within him, stretching, teasing, tormenting. Trouble was, regardless of where he was and how fucking cold it was, Viggo normally went at his own pace which was apparently supposed to allow him to appreciate the event to the fullest possible extent. It was also, by the feel of it, extremely useful if Sean wanted to be cryogenically frozen.
“ Get. On. With. It,” snarled Sean, pretty much into the seat. Viggo sighed but obliged, adding another finger which slid smoothly within the other man’s body and grinning to himself as Sean groaned weakly and bucked, burying the fingers even deeper.
“ So you approve of the general plan now?” he queried idly.
There was another snarl worthy of a large cat and Sean’s body bucked again to answer the question. Viggo laughed to himself and continued to corkscrew his fingers within the other man. A further buck from Sean protested about the self imposed speed limits. Viggo put a little more weight on Sean’s back to keep him vaguely still and removed the fingers with a grin and Sean’s curse echoing in his ears. Well, if Sean was eager for speed then obviously they could skip a few stages…
Viggo’s smile was angelic, his actions less so. There was another howl of protest that sent squirrels scuttling up trees and birds flying into the air as the first and apparently unexpected thrust went into the blonde. Sean whimpered and closed his eyes as he felt the familiar sensation of being stretched, his body desperately trying to cope with the invasion; Viggo had slowed his thrust dramatically after the initial push but he was still a damned large man, and the burn wasn’t likely to bugger off simply because of convenience.
Of course Viggo knew this and was happily not going to rush things. This was equally a bugger. Sean panted, his body trembling in both effort and exhaustion, trying to spread his legs a little more for ease whilst also circling his hips as much as possible on the seats to get some well needed friction. Seizing hold of his bravery Sean nudged back a little more, ignoring the burn in his eagerness to get both warm and action to occur. Two birds, one stone and a hell of a large bush after all.
“ Come on, Viggo,” he groaned softly. “ Move your arse.”
Arse refused to move. Perhaps this was why the Americans always called it ‘ass’; there were definite tendencies towards donkey stubbornness being displayed and this was certainly not the first time it had happened. Viggo slowly thrust in again, enjoying the feel of simply gliding within Sean, the velvet heat gripping him so powerfully that the world could be in the middle of an Ice Age and he doubted whether he would have noticed. Sean moaned again, his hands curling into claws on the seat, his back arching as Viggo thrust in again and again. The windows were already beginning to get slightly steamed although the open door thankfully stopped the windows getting too embarrassing to any onlooker, even if squirrels were the only ones who were likely to be watching.
Sean groaned again, weakly, his breath a little cloud of water moisture in the cold air. Viggo’s hands gripped him a little tighter as he began to –finally!- increase the speed and power of the thrusts, over and over again until the car was rocking on the battered suspension to the accompaniment of squealing creaks.
“ For God’s sake-,” Sean’s voice was completely cut off as Viggo thrust in again, striking the bundle of nerves and making a good statement on why you should never take the lord’s name in vain. Sean yelled in sensation, his hands freezing for a moment then scrabbling once again, nails raking across the material as though it was the one thing stopping him from orgasm. His breathing was more ragged than a scarecrow, hitched breaths coming faster and faster as both he and the car were rocked by Viggo’s powerful thrusts. The fabric of the back seat, once mocked for being rough and uncomfortable, was now a blessing in disguise as the blonde rubbed himself against the glorious friction.
Once more…
Twice….
Okay, possibly another one…
Once again the birds took to the air as Sean howled in his completion, the material finally tearing under his hands as the golden glow burst through his body and spread to every single part of him. The burn suddenly came back for a brief hello as Sean felt himself grip Viggo harder, the grunt of surprise and pleasure from the man behind him briefly breaking through his concentration. Said concentration was broken a little more as Viggo’s hands clenched tighter on Sean’s hips, his short nails digging into the soft skin to leave little red horseshoe marks as an accusation as Viggo gasped, trembled, and gave a small cry of his own as he thrust once more into Sean, shooting deep within him. Even in orgasm Viggo had the ability to control himself which was damned embarrassing for anyone who couldn’t.
Git. Utter, utter git.
For a few moments there was simply the sounds of gasping, Sean’s face buried in the back seat as he attempted to get his heart rate back to a mild gallop. Hot, sweaty and breathless, he finally moved himself only to find that gravity had a whole new idea for him, forcing him to slide to a sweaty heap out of the car and pretty much onto Viggo’s boots. Spiders be damned.
Viggo himself was hardly in a better position. He had rested a hand on the top of the car to steady himself, but his ragged breathing gave him away, the slight tremble in his limbs visible to the careful observer. The older man grinned at the pool of Bean at his feet.
“ So,” he said after he had regained his breath. “ Warmer?”
“ Fucker,” growled Sean, who wasn’t in the mood to admit anything.
“ Well spotted. Now, go grab some more logs. We’ll need them to build that fire,” Viggo bent down and carefully helped Sean to his shaky feet, carefully removing a leaf from his hair with a hand. Sean looked at him incredulously, then waved a hand towards the car.
“ What the hell happened about using the back seat as a tent?!” he protested.
“ The whole of said back seat is now pretty much a wet patch. I’ll take my chances with a blanket and the spiders,” Viggo had an annoying habit of sounding cheerful even when he was talking about camping, which no one should be cheerful about. Sean growled and folded his arms, only going off to collect further firewood when the chocolate was waved at him.
Okay, so camping was in. However, this did not mean he had to like it. After all, tomorrow was another day, and the wilderness still beckoned…
Yeah, it was going to be a fine few days off, he could see it now.
Git.
TBC
Chapter 1: The Car
Pairing: SB/VM
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: A work of fiction, not reality…but you can’t have everything. Completely daft and shouldn’t be taken seriously by anyone.
Summary: A trip to the mountains ends before it really starts, stranding Viggo and Sean in the Great Outdoors with nothing more than a backpack, a few chocolate bars and more than their fair share of goose-bumps. Can they make it back to civilisation without either killing themselves or falling prey to a squirrel plot?
This chapter has been written for Vehicle Week at Adventures_In. Work is unbeta’d, apologises for any mistakes.
*
“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountain is going home; that wildness is necessity; that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life.”
-John Muir
*
There were many places where it would have been romantic to find yourself cast adrift in the sea of the natural world, to enjoy nature as it was intended with the birds singing in the trees and the breeze on your skin and the brook babbling and the squirrels playing with their nuts … okay, that last one probably wasn’t going to hit the lyrics of any romantic song any time soon but that was not the point. The point was that it was natural, it was good, and it was peaceful.
When it was drizzling, the clouds were grey, the wind wasn’t so much kissing you as shoving its tongue down your throat and your car was broken down miles from absolutely nowhere, the romance kinda died a little.
Sean huddled himself in the front seat of the car with both his and Viggo’s coats wrapped around him, shivering enough that it was beginning to seriously disrupt reading his book which he had thankfully brought along. In front of him Viggo was continuing to tinker with the car’s engine, the tell-tale sound of the thump-clank-curse showing that the repairs were perhaps not being as useful as they might have been.
Finally an oil splattered Viggo moved towards the window and gave a little tap on the side with his knuckles. Sean eyed him for a moment then grudgingly slid a hand out of his cosy blanket shields and rolled down the window.
“ It’s broken,” offered Viggo.
“ Yes, I know. I’ve already had a look, remember?” Sean was in no mood to be forgiving. Viggo completely ignored this complaint and studied the road behind them thoughtfully with a terrifying look in his eye that suggested that the word ‘walk’ was only two seconds away from being said. Sean groaned and almost rolled the window back up again. They were bloody miles from anywhere and the roads were long, winding and not always downhill. Fuck that. “ No,”
“ You don’t know what I was going to say,” Viggo replied mildly. “ I could be simply considering walking back to a garage and getting the necessary parts to fix it.”
“ Vig, the fucking fucker’s fucked to hell and back,” snapped Sean crossly. “ It’s not going to need a part, it’s going to need the entirety of the world’s faith praying for it!”
Viggo rubbed his chin with a hand which sadly was also covered in grease and oil and therefore left quite a mark. He sighed gently in the not particularly bothered manner of someone who was disappointed to find that his sandwich was egg and not ham, and folded his arms.
“ I guess this is what comes of putting your faith in fate,” he commented. Sean rolled his eyes.
“ No, this is what comes of putting your money in a death-trap money pit of a rust bucket and assuming blindly that it’s not going to pack up on you in the middle of the damned mountains where there’s no mobile signal!”
“ Oh, actually the mobile’s not a problem,” Viggo’s voice was cheerful.
Sean’s eyes narrowed. “ Why not?”
“ Because I didn’t pick it up. Its sitting on the sideboard at home,” The fact that he had a death-glare aimed at him obviously registered. “ What? There is no point in coming out here to enjoy the peace and quiet of the countryside if you’re getting messages constantly. And you know that would be what happens, none of the kids can go two seconds without texting someone,”
There was a silence that even the wind didn’t dare interrupt. Sean finally dragged his gaze away from Viggo’s honestly surprised expression to glare out the windscreen. Teeth were ground.
“ So what exactly did you have in mind?” he snarled. “ It’s fucking cold, we’re fucking miles away from the nearest settlement, and we have limited fucking .. everything,”
“ Including vocabulary, I notice,” sighed Viggo. “ It’s not that fair back to walk if you go cross-country,”
“ You have to be fu.. bloody kidding me!” Sean stared back at him incredulously. “ I’m not going out there at this time of day! I watched the Blair Witch Project you know,”
Viggo looked at him. “ You’re just wanting to avoid the walking aren’t you?” he said patiently. There was a sheepish expression on the blonde’s face that suggested that Viggo’s question had hit a fair amount of accuracy. Sean sighed and looked back at the windscreen grumpily.
“ Well, I guess we can wait for the others to come rescue us if you’re not in the mood to walk,” Viggo shrugged. “ I left details with Astin who is bound to find us as … soon.. as….,” he trailed off and gave Sean a suspicious look. “ Ok, what is that expression on your face for, Bean?”
Green eyes flickered to back to him and then resumed their thoughtful assessment of the road ahead. Sean grinned a little, then looked at the mirror to the road behind. Yes, that definitely had possibilities… Not great possibilities, it had to be said, but enough possibilities to suggest that walking might not be their only option. After all, he walked far too much during filming. To do it on his day off was just a step too far.
Dumping the coats in the foot-well of the vehicle, Sean got out the car and wandered towards the bonnet, slamming it shut and assessing the road again. Definitely potential there. He nodded to himself and waved Viggo towards the passenger seat.
“ In,” he instructed, then rolled his eyes as Viggo did nothing more than raise an eyebrow at him. Sean waved an arm expressively. “ In,” he insisted.
“ You’re up to something,” Viggo raised his head and gave him a particular hard look that could happily compete against the structure of diamonds. Sean sighed wearily. Sometimes Viggo just wasn’t that bright.
“ Of course I’m up to something. That’s what I do. Now, get in the ruddy car before I leave you here,” the gesture looked like it was about to get a little ruder. Viggo blinked, took in the obviously battered state of the car, then looked pointedly back at Sean.
“ Uh, car is still requiring repairs you realise,” he pointed out.
“ No, car is requiring a miracle. I know it’s buggered, thanks. Just get in and leave the worrying to me, ok?” Sean waited until Viggo had slid into the passenger seat before he pushed the door shut with a little click. Getting into the other side, he rubbed his hands together in a vague attempt of both cunningness and warmth, and glanced out the window again. Still no other cars on the road. Yeah, they were shoved deep in the arse end of the universe here, in true Viggo style. Viggo obviously was a firm believer that hell was other people; Sean was just aware that other people supplied the cigarettes and allowed him the freedom not to have to cook his own meals.
“ You know, you scare me on occasion,” commented Viggo, who was still suspicious. Sean snorted amusement and readjusted the seat to compensate for Viggo’s ridiculously long legs.
“ Only sometimes? I’ve really got to work on that,” Having adjusted the chair to something reasonable for normal people, Sean leant around to have a better vision out the back window and calmly released the handbrake. Minus the only brake that was keeping it still, the car slowly began to roll backwards.
Viggo watched Sean for a few incredulous moments, then glanced out the back himself where the countryside was slowly but steadily moving past them, proof that a Bean would do anything to avoid the need to walk.
“ You do realise that it’s not downhill for the entirety of the roads, don’t you?” he asked in faint curiosity.
“ We’re moving. It’s a start,” replied Sean, his eyes not moving from the view out the back. “ And don’t distract me.”
Viggo shrugged and remained silent as they rumbled and rolled their way down the somewhat bumpy mountain road, Sean humming the tune to the Great Escape under his breath as the car picked up a little speed down a more than gradual slope. The corners were more vicious than the average road but Sean was making reasonable judgement calls on them, and there was a possibility, just a slim possibility, that they might be able to get to the point where even Sean could accept that they could walk to civilisation.
“ Ah, momentum. You gotta love it-,” Sean began when something large, furry and brown flashed out of the forest immediately in front of the now vaguely speedy vehicle. Viggo’s warning shout was completely ignored as Sean instinctively swerved the car away from hitting the deer, only for a tree to loom out of the non-existent darkness.
“ SHIT!!!”
There was a crash, a thump, and some gentle ticking that sounded as though the crocodile from Peter Pan had come for a visit. And then silence fell over the car again, both occupants staring at the spider-web cracked back window behind them as though faced with a full grown yeti. Finally Viggo turned his head towards the white faced Sean and studied him in interest.
“ Bean,” he said. “ Have you just crashed another of my cars?”
No response. Viggo raised an eyebrow and waved a hand in front of Sean’s eyes. Finally, moving as slowly as a zombie in a movie just without the neck creaks, Sean turned his head to look at him in honest bewilderment.
“ When did we order the tree?”
Viggo stared at him for a moment longer before chuckling, giving him a quick gentle clip round the ear before unclipping his safety belt and focusing on the driver’s condition.
“ You hurt, my little idiot?” his hand gently massaged Sean’s shoulder. “ No whiplash or muscle pain or anything else that appears on daytime television advertisements?”
Sean shook his head, paused, rotated it and finished with a jiggle of the shoulders. His neck was slightly stiff but then again that might also be from the cold rather than the jolt, which thankfully hadn’t been that fast. Groaning slightly, he attempted to open the door which for some reason refused to budge. Unfastening his seatbelt, Sean swivelled in the chair and booted the door several times with a foot until the car finally gave up the ghost and it creaked open. There was little crunch and something fell off the vehicle with a tinkle-tinkle.
Having assessed the damage and moved onto hands and knees to check the fuel tank hadn’t ruptured or anything else that tended to end up on an episode of the A-Team, Sean got up again and began to brush off the bits of pine-cone and random forest crap that had decided to stick to the material over his knees.
“ I’m impressed. I’ve managed to make a crap car even crapper,” he commented, then gave Viggo a bright smile as the man got out of the vehicle and looked across at him. “ Sorry about that,”
Viggo sighed through his teeth and drummed his fingers on the top of the car, giving a look at the essentially caved in rear of the vehicle and completely dismissing the idea that they could get the vehicle out without a lot of assistance. “ Right. So we’re still stuck out here and now the car is going to require specialist equipment to get it away from the tree. Am I missing something?”
“ We’re off the road as well,” offered Sean. Viggo sighed.
“ Ah yes, and our visibility to other road users is suddenly a little more problematic,” the fingers continued to drum their little marching pattern. “ You know, next time you have a good idea, don’t, there’s a good boy.” He sighed and stopped the drumming. “ Well, I guess we should consider starting to walk back to town,”
“ Its getting dark!” protested Sean. “ And its bloody cold already!”
“ We’re near the mountains. It does that,” replied Viggo patiently. “ And I don’t think we have a choice unless you have a burning desire to stay out here for the night,”
Sean looked around the little section of woodland that they found themselves in, back at the broken car and then at Viggo. A grin slowly found its way onto his expression before Sean strolled towards the tree and began to pick up branches from the floor, watched in faint bafflement by Viggo. The older man licked his lip and leant forward.
“ Sean,” he said slowly. “ You hate camping, remember?”
“ You got any matches?” Sean was determined not to pay the worry wart too much attention in his search for further branches. Viggo sighed and looked upwards at the overhanging branches for a moment before returning his gaze to the figure of the blonde who was still collecting wood.
“ I have a lighter. As do you,” he said dryly. “ And don’t you dare try to say you don’t smoke. You can swallow as many mints as you want and gargle with two litres of mouthwash per day but you still have that particular aroma. And,” Viggo added when Sean opened his mouth to protest. “ I found your supply of cigarettes behind the books in the spare room,”
The protest hesitated for sheer self preservation. Sean immediately went back to picking up his branches.
“ Did you?” he kept his voice matter of fact.
“ I did.”
Silence. Plenty of silence. Tons of silence. So much silence you could slice it and use it to fully wallpaper a mansion. Sean kept his eyes on the ground, which at least was good for the supply of firewood that began to increase in number at the same rate as bunnies did in the breeding season.
“ I’m not going to apologise,” Sean said finally, shaking a stick which had a beetle on it before adding it to the pile under his arm. No comment from Viggo.
“ It’s my life. I don’t smoke in the house either,” continued Sean.
Still no comment from Viggo. Sean refused to look towards him. The woodpile continued to grow.
“ Its only the occasional one or two anyway,” Sean maintained.
The silence settled down for a long term stay. More wood appeared.
“ Barely more than four a day and that’s only in social situations,” Sean’s explanation was getting a wave of the hand as decoration.
The silence opened up the metaphorical newspaper and began to read. Sean growled to himself, dumped the wood in a dry spot under a tree and went to find some more.
“ I’m even cutting back,” he added, defensively.
Viggo stretched idly. “ Sean,” he said finally. Sean stopped and sighed, rubbing his forehead with his arm and shivering slightly as a cold breeze drifted past him.
“ Okay, I’m sorry for not telling you,” he said finally without looking back at Viggo. “ Its just … I didn’t really want the hassle and I knew what you’d say,”
Viggo shrugged slightly and continued to watch him. “ Sean,” he said again. “ You do realise-,”
“ Okay, okay, I’m sorry for smoking, right? I just like it for god’s sake!”
There was a little nod from Viggo, who scratched the side of his face and watched Sean calmly.
“ Sean, I appreciate your apology but-,”
“ But?” Sean finally looked up at him and dumped the additional wood he had collected onto the woodpile. “ I apologise and you say but? What the hell else d’you want me to do? Okay, fine, I’ll get rid of the cigarettes when we get back,”
“ That’s not-,”
“ –good enough? For god’s sake Vig! You want blood as well?” Sean folded his arms and scowled at him. Viggo waited until the outburst had died back again and gave him a winning smile.
“ What I was trying to say was to point out you have a spider the size of an arrow head sitting on your arm,” Viggo’s finger pointed towards it. “ Just there. See?”
An additional five minutes went past with Sean bouncing around the clearing brushing off his arm frantically and jumping around the leafy ground as though he was trying to remain off the ground for as long as possible. Which, of course, he was. The spider disappeared to pastures new and less energetic but this didn’t stop Sean’s little maypole dance of horror which Viggo watched in pure fascination.
“ You done?” he queried after Sean appeared to have halted, the blonde’s breathing so fast and hard Viggo could hear each gasp for air. There was a one finger gesture in his general direction. Viggo chuckled to himself and opened the car door which creaked. Sean raised his head and frowned towards him.
“ Vig, what are you doing?” he asked suspiciously. “ That car’s going nowhere,”
“ Yes, you certainly made sure of that,” agreed Viggo. “ And the chances of you sleeping on that ground with all the creepy crawlies is probably minimal so therefore I think it is prudent to consider the back seat as our temporary tent before we set out early tomorrow morning,”
Sean eyed Viggo then eyed the “temporary tent” which was still looking damned uncomfortable as far as he was concerned. And cold. And knobbly. And not enough room to allow his legs to stretch out, even if they did fiddle with the back seats.
“ I’m not sure whether that’s any better than the floor,” he commented. “ It’s … small,”
“ It’s not the size that matters, Sean. It’s the spiders,” replied Viggo patiently, and tapped the top of the door with a hand. “ So, I’m sure we can turn this little car into a travelling motel of luxury proportions. I even have chocolate bars,”
“ That’s not the point…,” Sean trailed off as the words penetrated and glanced up. “ Chocolate? You have chocolate?”
“ Good source of energy, chocolate,” confirmed Viggo. “ Of course I have chocolate. I’m not stupid,”
“ I don’t remember seeing that in the bag,” Sean frowned. “ Where did you hide it?”
Viggo rolled his eyes and leant against the door a little more. “ I just told you, Sean. I’m not stupid.” He replied patiently. “ Anyway. You coming or what?”
Sean’s eyebrows rose, glancing around at the darkening but nowhere near dark enough forest area and then back at Viggo. Obviously someone was getting impatient with nature, although he didn’t entirely blame him. He always held suspicions about squirrels, with their bright little eyes and their bushy tails and their ability to always find some hidden nuts. If squirrels were gay men, they would be remarkably efficient in their social life.
“ It’s not night,” Sean pointed out finally.
“ I’m not intending to sleep,” Viggo raised an eyebrow of his own and patted the door in a manner that was somewhat reminiscent of a Lassie owner. “ Come on. We’ve got to do something to increase our warmth in the face of a lack of blankets and an abundance of spiders,”
It took five seconds for the meaning to sink in, the blonde staring at him incredulously. “ You filthy bugger!”
Viggo was completely unabashed by the labelling and simply raised the eyebrow a little further. “ Like you wouldn’t jump at the chance? Look, there’s only so long I want to stand here holding open the door. Either get with the programme or start getting friendly with the local spider population. And trust me,” the grin widened further. “ They don’t tend to have chocolate,”
Green eyes studied Viggo, then moved to the back seat, then looked back again. “ I’m sure there’s rules against messing around in the back seat when you’re past twenty,” he objected. “ And we’re well past twenty.”
“ Did I sign that contract?” This was most unusual. Ordinarily whenever sex was mentioned, indicated or even formed part of another word Sean’s ears pricked up so much he looked like he should belong on Star Trek as one of the Vulcans. Obviously the fresh air had managed to stimulate places that really weren’t normally stimulated, in this case tact and dignity. It was bloody annoying.
“ That’s not the point. We’re going to get cramp. And,” he added, when it was clear from Viggo’s expression that cramp really wasn’t a big thing in the great scheme of things. “ we’ve got no lube. Unless you happened to bring it with the chocolate,” he added dryly.
“ I don’t carry lube with chocolate. It’s not hygienic,” replied Viggo patiently. “ However, all we need is a lubricant and we have that,”
Sean blinked. “ We do?”
“ We do,”
The universe paused for a moment just to listen. Sean frowned at him then folded his arms. “ What, exactly?”
“ What happened to the art of surprise?” Viggo sighed, rubbing his forehead.
“ Surprise is so last century and completely banned ever since you did that whole underwear thing. Come on. Spill it. Well, not spill it literally, but you know what I mean. Confess,” if there had been a surface which wasn’t covered in ants Sean would have slapped his hand down in a dramatic fashion.
“ Confess? You turning into the Spanish Inquisition?” Viggo’s head cocked on one side. “ Although I could really see you in a red robe-,”
“ NO!” The day was bad enough without red robes or other dress look-alikes turning up. Sean growled softly and walked a little further, eying the back seat as though there was a possibility that it would turn into a large toothed monster, and then looked at Viggo who was still remarkably lube-free. He sighed. “ Well?”
“ Very, thanks for asking,” Viggo smiled and moved towards the front of the car. “ As for lube, I’m sure some oil would be perfectly fine-“
Sean’s head snapped up. Engine oil? Fuck that. Well, don’t fuck that anyway. He dreaded to think about how long it would take to try and get oil out of bodily areas. Viggo noticed the expression and chuckled to himself.
“ Kidding,” he advised. “ Don’t sweat the small stuff. I’ve got other lubrication choices. Ketchup, for example,”
Sean looked at him strangely. “ Vig, what the hell is it with you and ketchup? Any one would think you’d signed a contract with Heinz or something,”
Viggo sighed softly and stepped forward, running his hand along a highly suspicious Sean’s arm and giving him a pleasant little smile. Sean was suspicious of pleasant little smiles. They normally accompanied completely unpleasant situations, or at least situations with plenty of rope involved. Or, indeed, leather. Or … well, yes. If he listed every single little perversion Viggo had he would be there for the next year.
By the next longer, more pointed, sigh, it was clear that Sean’s thoughts were a little too clear. Patiently, Viggo started to unbutton Sean’s shirt with the expression of a mother readjusting her offspring’s tie.
“ Hang on a tick, it’s damn cold out here!” protested Sean who had been vowing to keep as much on as possible to fight against nature’s attempts to freeze his balls off. This, however, made no difference to Viggo’s movements. The hand giving Viggo a slap on his backside did, with an echo that seemed to threaten avalanches. On the basis that there wasn’t actually any snow about, this was impressive indeed.
“ Look,” Viggo said with weary patience. “ You can’t fuck with your clothes on. That’s taking safe sex too far,”
“ All I need to do is shift said clothing a little and then it’ll be fine,” protested Sean, sulking slightly. “ Okay, so there’s likely to be more washing than normal but I’m sure it’ll be fine,”
Viggo’s expression obviously begged to differ. Said expression was always shouting about its opinions, being an awkward bugger. Sean would have sulked further had it not been for the fact that Viggo clearly ran out of patience, slamming the blonde against the car and kissing him deeply enough that the fact that bare skin was at the mercy of the elements was buried deep in the back of Sean’s mind. Automatically he returned it with a sigh and a growl and a lot of enthusiasm. When it came to the Bean Manual Viggo had obviously been swotting up, although Sean had a sneaking suspicion the test was only going to be a multiple choice one set at playschool level.
“ Vig,” he managed when the kiss paused for a little oxygen. The older man allowed his head to move back a few millimetres simply to allow speech, the heat of his breath causing untold shivers to run down Sean’s back which was a bastard of a way to win an argument. Okay, so it was efficient, but it was … cheating for god’s sake!
“ Hmmmm?” Viggo studied him lazily.
“ .. not fair…,”
“ Hmmmm,” By the tone, this was possibly an agreement, but then again it offered some more warm breath and the shivers started their exercises down the spinal run again. Sean closed his eyes briefly then refocused.
“ .. still can’t..,” he said weakly.
“ Hmmmm?” The tone mocked this suggestion.
“ … you know we can’t…,”
“ Hmmmm,” The tone knew no such thing. Another kiss added to the mix, a long, lingering one that increased the shiver traffic down Sean’s back; obviously his boots was an excellent place to visit at the moment. Viggo’s tongue lazily explored Sean’s mouth, the kiss getting deeper and deeper until it probably needed mining permits. The blonde had no idea when Viggo’s hand had managed to end up on his thigh but there it was and it was slowly squeezing in a rhythmic fashion, over and over again until Sean was sure he was being hypnotised.
“ … the car you say…?” Sean panted.
“ Hmmmmm,” The tone was obviously polite enough not to point out the fact that there wasn’t exactly anywhere else to start exploring sexual activity unless they seriously wanted to increase the possibility of splinters up the backside. Sean found himself carefully moved back towards the back seat; as the car pressed against the back of his calves, he decided to give up on the whole protesting front. Viggo never listened to him anyway, and the longer he protested, the longer he was both draughty and sex-free.
“ This is incredibly undignified you realise,” he grumbled as he got into the back of the car and rolled to lie on his back. “ And we’re too large for this. There’s a reason why teenagers specialise in this sort of movement you know. They haven’t got anywhere else to do it and they’re less likely to accidentally abuse the gear stick. And that was not a suggestion, take that expression off your face!”
“ You crashed my car,” Viggo pointed out mildly. “ You owe me,”
“ I owe you?” Sean repeated, raised an eyebrow at the implications. Viggo snorted.
“ I’d be happy with you just shutting up, sweetheart,” a lazy grin aimed itself at him. “ You’ve got enough hot air to fully inflate one of Richard Branson’s balloons. However, since your mind is drifting that way…,”
Viggo was already unbuckling the blonde’s belt and undoing the buttons whilst he was speaking. Sean watched him for a moment, the next few words turning into a yelp as the brunette slid his hands under Sean’s hips and dragged him a little further towards him. The yelp turned into one of indignation as his trousers were tugged downwards in a not particularly subtle hint to get them removed.
“ Vig, its still cold,” Sean protested. Viggo sighed and changed the movement to one of flipping him over, Sean suddenly finding himself a mouthful of old but clean vehicle upholstery. His back arched as the coolness of the air suddenly found a new surface to chill, namely his backside, as Viggo yanked down the trousers a little further.
“ You know, you’d be warmer if you tried that obviously little known piece of clothing called underwear,” commented Viggo. “ You go commando so much I’m surprised the British Army aren’t paying you a salary,”
Sean squirmed on the seat and ignored the comment in the face of such artic conditions. “ This is undignified!”
“ Yeah, probably is,” agreed Viggo, his warm hands stroking skin which had managed to be both hot and cold at the same time. Sean groaned softly, his hands clenching on the seat, nails trying to rip through. Suddenly a thought made him lift his head and glance over his shoulder.
“ Lube?” he said in a pointed manner.
“ You say the sweetest things, love,” Viggo smiled back at him, completely unconcerned. Well, he probably wouldn’t be, this wasn’t after all his arse on the literal line. Sean growled softly, the last part of it hitching as hands gently stroked into the more sensitive areas of his body. Why these more sensitive areas of his body were the only things exposed to the wilderness was another question and a good question, but these questions were completely overcome by the fact that Viggo’s hands had come back and, by god, were creeping closer and closer until-
“ ARRRRGGGGHHHH HOLY FUCK!!!”
Every animal for five miles suddenly vanished into holes, burrows or anything else that happened to be suitable. Viggo finally opened his eyes again and gave Sean a rueful smile.
“ I take it the lube was cold then?”
“ Cold?! It was like shoving a fucking icicle up there!!” Sean squirmed further, which was spoilt by Viggo’s other hand firmly remaining in the small of his back. Viggo sighed and gently began to move his finger, the digit having been smeared with the lube he had been carrying around with him as emergency precaution. Sean groaned softly and let his head fall back down to the back seats whose foam had seen better days, feeling the finger slowly beginning to circle within him, stretching, teasing, tormenting. Trouble was, regardless of where he was and how fucking cold it was, Viggo normally went at his own pace which was apparently supposed to allow him to appreciate the event to the fullest possible extent. It was also, by the feel of it, extremely useful if Sean wanted to be cryogenically frozen.
“ Get. On. With. It,” snarled Sean, pretty much into the seat. Viggo sighed but obliged, adding another finger which slid smoothly within the other man’s body and grinning to himself as Sean groaned weakly and bucked, burying the fingers even deeper.
“ So you approve of the general plan now?” he queried idly.
There was another snarl worthy of a large cat and Sean’s body bucked again to answer the question. Viggo laughed to himself and continued to corkscrew his fingers within the other man. A further buck from Sean protested about the self imposed speed limits. Viggo put a little more weight on Sean’s back to keep him vaguely still and removed the fingers with a grin and Sean’s curse echoing in his ears. Well, if Sean was eager for speed then obviously they could skip a few stages…
Viggo’s smile was angelic, his actions less so. There was another howl of protest that sent squirrels scuttling up trees and birds flying into the air as the first and apparently unexpected thrust went into the blonde. Sean whimpered and closed his eyes as he felt the familiar sensation of being stretched, his body desperately trying to cope with the invasion; Viggo had slowed his thrust dramatically after the initial push but he was still a damned large man, and the burn wasn’t likely to bugger off simply because of convenience.
Of course Viggo knew this and was happily not going to rush things. This was equally a bugger. Sean panted, his body trembling in both effort and exhaustion, trying to spread his legs a little more for ease whilst also circling his hips as much as possible on the seats to get some well needed friction. Seizing hold of his bravery Sean nudged back a little more, ignoring the burn in his eagerness to get both warm and action to occur. Two birds, one stone and a hell of a large bush after all.
“ Come on, Viggo,” he groaned softly. “ Move your arse.”
Arse refused to move. Perhaps this was why the Americans always called it ‘ass’; there were definite tendencies towards donkey stubbornness being displayed and this was certainly not the first time it had happened. Viggo slowly thrust in again, enjoying the feel of simply gliding within Sean, the velvet heat gripping him so powerfully that the world could be in the middle of an Ice Age and he doubted whether he would have noticed. Sean moaned again, his hands curling into claws on the seat, his back arching as Viggo thrust in again and again. The windows were already beginning to get slightly steamed although the open door thankfully stopped the windows getting too embarrassing to any onlooker, even if squirrels were the only ones who were likely to be watching.
Sean groaned again, weakly, his breath a little cloud of water moisture in the cold air. Viggo’s hands gripped him a little tighter as he began to –finally!- increase the speed and power of the thrusts, over and over again until the car was rocking on the battered suspension to the accompaniment of squealing creaks.
“ For God’s sake-,” Sean’s voice was completely cut off as Viggo thrust in again, striking the bundle of nerves and making a good statement on why you should never take the lord’s name in vain. Sean yelled in sensation, his hands freezing for a moment then scrabbling once again, nails raking across the material as though it was the one thing stopping him from orgasm. His breathing was more ragged than a scarecrow, hitched breaths coming faster and faster as both he and the car were rocked by Viggo’s powerful thrusts. The fabric of the back seat, once mocked for being rough and uncomfortable, was now a blessing in disguise as the blonde rubbed himself against the glorious friction.
Once more…
Twice….
Okay, possibly another one…
Once again the birds took to the air as Sean howled in his completion, the material finally tearing under his hands as the golden glow burst through his body and spread to every single part of him. The burn suddenly came back for a brief hello as Sean felt himself grip Viggo harder, the grunt of surprise and pleasure from the man behind him briefly breaking through his concentration. Said concentration was broken a little more as Viggo’s hands clenched tighter on Sean’s hips, his short nails digging into the soft skin to leave little red horseshoe marks as an accusation as Viggo gasped, trembled, and gave a small cry of his own as he thrust once more into Sean, shooting deep within him. Even in orgasm Viggo had the ability to control himself which was damned embarrassing for anyone who couldn’t.
Git. Utter, utter git.
For a few moments there was simply the sounds of gasping, Sean’s face buried in the back seat as he attempted to get his heart rate back to a mild gallop. Hot, sweaty and breathless, he finally moved himself only to find that gravity had a whole new idea for him, forcing him to slide to a sweaty heap out of the car and pretty much onto Viggo’s boots. Spiders be damned.
Viggo himself was hardly in a better position. He had rested a hand on the top of the car to steady himself, but his ragged breathing gave him away, the slight tremble in his limbs visible to the careful observer. The older man grinned at the pool of Bean at his feet.
“ So,” he said after he had regained his breath. “ Warmer?”
“ Fucker,” growled Sean, who wasn’t in the mood to admit anything.
“ Well spotted. Now, go grab some more logs. We’ll need them to build that fire,” Viggo bent down and carefully helped Sean to his shaky feet, carefully removing a leaf from his hair with a hand. Sean looked at him incredulously, then waved a hand towards the car.
“ What the hell happened about using the back seat as a tent?!” he protested.
“ The whole of said back seat is now pretty much a wet patch. I’ll take my chances with a blanket and the spiders,” Viggo had an annoying habit of sounding cheerful even when he was talking about camping, which no one should be cheerful about. Sean growled and folded his arms, only going off to collect further firewood when the chocolate was waved at him.
Okay, so camping was in. However, this did not mean he had to like it. After all, tomorrow was another day, and the wilderness still beckoned…
Yeah, it was going to be a fine few days off, he could see it now.
Git.
TBC
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Date: 2006-09-20 01:47 pm (UTC)Oh, I can't wait to see how much more trouble these two get into...
~Kris
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Date: 2006-09-20 02:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-20 05:02 pm (UTC)I'm with Bean on that whole sleeping outside with the spiders thing. Starry skies, great. The spiders in your sleeping bag and the rocks under your butt and the freezing your knees off, thanks, but no.
Yeah, it was going to be a fine few days off, he could see it now.
Git. *snicker* I love the way they get along perfectly togethr by on the surface not getting along at all. ;)
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Date: 2006-09-20 06:43 pm (UTC)I was in love with this story beginning with this line. I adore the metaphors and comparisons you came up with, such a well balanced mix of humourous precision and loving detail.
The dialogue is great as well – aside from it sounding totally in character (I can practically hear them bantering as I read) it also shows that both of them are slightly crazy and completely crazy for each other. I laughed my ass off during Sean’s smoking confession (I loved Sean thinking that other people around mainly is useful for getting more cigarettes – so hilarious). I adored Viggo’s “pleasant little smile”, love Sean scaring the shit out of the birds when he comes.
Great story all around, thanks for sharing!
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Date: 2006-09-21 07:20 am (UTC)What a fantastic writing style - I just grinned from the very first sentence to the last "Git"!! Your utterly unique descriptions just ticked me pink.
I don't think I will ever be able to forget the image of the car rolling backwards down the road and "Sean humming the tune to the Great Escape under his breath" !! I laughed for so long at that. (In fact it's next morning now and I'm still giggling!!!)
There were just too many wonderful sentiments to pick out just one to quote back to you - I'd end up repeating the whole thing. What an utterly stunning writing style you have - it's tremendous and I shall very much look forward to seeing your name appearing in the future!
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Date: 2006-09-21 10:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 05:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-02 11:34 am (UTC)