Zephyrus and Apollo (GreekMyth!VigBean)
Oct. 4th, 2006 01:06 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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rugbytackleTitle: Zephyrus and Apollo (GreekMyth!VigBean)
Paring: Zephyrus!Viggo / Apollo!Sean, plus Hyacinth!Orlando
Rating: G
Beta:![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ayui and bittercaramel, thanks always!
Warning: AU, no violence but there is a death in the story.
Disclaimer: The work is all fiction and I don’t know them at all. Written just for fun, no aim to any profit.
Feedback: Would be nice, thank you!
Note: Inspired by the attic red-figured cup (Tarquinia, 480BC) titled Zephyrus and Hyacinth (not safe work in a sense) from the famous Greek Mythology Apollo and Hyacinth, but too much arranged in my colour to push everything into the VigBean (Zephyrus / Apollo) tune. I tried my best in the usage of English: please excuse me for my lumbering narrative here and there.
A.N. Lots of thanks forbittercaramel, without her prompt I wouldn’t have finished it.
Paring: Zephyrus!Viggo / Apollo!Sean, plus Hyacinth!Orlando
Rating: G
Beta:
ayui and bittercaramel, thanks always!Warning: AU, no violence but there is a death in the story.
Disclaimer: The work is all fiction and I don’t know them at all. Written just for fun, no aim to any profit.
Feedback: Would be nice, thank you!
Note: Inspired by the attic red-figured cup (Tarquinia, 480BC) titled Zephyrus and Hyacinth (not safe work in a sense) from the famous Greek Mythology Apollo and Hyacinth, but too much arranged in my colour to push everything into the VigBean (Zephyrus / Apollo) tune. I tried my best in the usage of English: please excuse me for my lumbering narrative here and there.
A.N. Lots of thanks for
bittercaramel, without her prompt I wouldn’t have finished it. When it occurred, Viggo didn’t know what happened – or what he had done. There, very right below him, Sean cried out something, rushed down to Orlando and folded his upper body in his arms. Kissing on the pale eyes-closed face of his lover, Sean called his name again and again, but neither his eyes nor mouth had even slightly opened, and his legs had been loosely laid on the grass.
Motionlessly, Viggo stared down at Sean to press Orlando’s head to his chest firmly. Then he turned his eyes blankly towards the discus on the grass beside them. It was bloody. So, poor Olando might have been deadly wounded on the back of his head – he watched the weapon hitting there – but from his place he couldn’t see any injures on the beautiful man in Sean’s arms. Only the blood spreading on Sean’s torso told him the young charming human was… dying. Everything seemed to be an unrealistic incident, like a nightmare. Oh yes, he couldn’t have killed Orlando, because…
“Zzzephyrusss!”
Sean’s deep threatening voice vibrated the air, which made some birds flapped away from the treetops while the other living matters conceal themselves, and was enough to pull Viggo back into the reality with great fear and awe. Viggo slowly turned his look back at Sean, Apollo the high god, the sun of Zeus and Leto. On his knees on the grass Sean held his lover, sharply looking up at Viggo in the air. Once his fiercely green eyes met Viggo’s, this angry sun-god didn’t let go of them even for a split of second, so Viggo couldn’t but start to tremble, almost crying, partly for the fear of killing his human friend Orlando, partly for another reason: they two gods had been friends for ages, but never once had Viggo got such a harsh glare from this golden god.
“I… I never meant to that...,” Viggo faded out weakly. His throat was so thick for panic that he couldn’t speak well or figure out what to say.
“As you say. But what you’ve meant doesn’t matter. What you’ve done is we should take now.”
Sean’s divine voice shook Viggo and the reality hit him. Breaking out in a cold sweat, his heart was racing as if it was throbbing out of his chest. Orlando is dying? And I did that?
“You were killing my Orlando,” Sean went on, “but he is your friend, and I know you also love him too. Why did you make such a sudden gust against him?”
There were such controlled hurt and anger in his accusation that Viggo somehow tried gathering his words put together, but “I don’t know…” was all what he could say.
Though it was an almost slurred mumble, Sean could hear the tremor in his unclear voice, and he learned that Viggo was in great shock from what he had made. He knew this Anemoi well – Viggo was a merciful god with a heart of gold, definitely far from killing a person for any reason. So it might be a kind of accident, as he said. Or else, what? With a sigh Sean shook his head, pushed aside his thoughts and looked down at the pallid face of his human lover. Sean almost could have believed Orlando was just sleeping if he didn’t feel the smell and the warmth of the blood soaking his arms.
“He has… died?” hoarsely Viggo asked.
“Not yet. But soon.” Sean glanced up at Viggo without resting his hand from stroking his lover’s colourless cheek. “The wound is so deep that I can’t heal it. I feel his life is draining out.”
No sooner had he finished his words than Viggo caught his breath, and the sound let Sean cut his eyes at him again. Then it was his turn to gasp at Viggo, who was hovering there frozen, gazing at Orlando wordlessly with a wobbly, pale scared look. Sean had never seen him get so weakly… badly like this before. Heavens, he’s more like dying!
“Come down, friend.”
Sean invited Viggo, managing to show no anger in his voice or eyes anymore, and it was surprising to find there was no hardship to do so at all. However, Viggo, yet without any single word, lamely shook his head and stepped back a little, while his eyes kept fixating on the young man in Sean’s arms. Sean recognized his lips faintly shaping “no” and “I’m sorry” repeatedly, and felt Viggo’s distress and sadness had gradually diffused in the air like water ripples on the lake.
His nasty jolt brought Sean pain rather than irritation: nevertheless Sean had the grief of losing his mortal lover, he felt a sudden compulsion to ease the fear and sadness dominating over Viggo, whether the accident was intended or not. The two gods had been friends of Orlando since his very childhood. Even while they were fighting over this beautiful young man, the three of them were the good company all the time, and their friendship had never changed after Orlando chosen Sean. He knew that as a fact.
Besides, Sean liked this moderate but vigorous god of the west wind a lot, from the depth of his heart. Unlike many of the other gods or people, Viggo never neither flattered him nor hesitated to get along with him. This loving Anemoi was always truly open and friendly with Sean, so he was simply able to feel good around him, anytime anywhere.
The more blood had been losing from Orlando, the more Viggo had inched backwards away. Feeling the weight of Orlando’s helpless body, Sean frowned in fear that Viggo was just going to fly away into the distance in a panic, and his intuition told him that he shouldn’t let Viggo go like this. Sean called on Viggo again,
“If you love him, come and kiss him to give your grace, Zephyrus, the messenger of spring and the lover of Chloris dominating spring.”
And this time it worked. After some hesitation, Viggo alighted on the grass, kneed in front of Sean, cautiously looked into the pale face of Orlando and reached his trembling fingers to touch his yet slightly warm cheeks. Since Viggo’s pale face came to right under Sean’s nose, Sean could see his sadness-filled eyes with quivering thick eyelashes tried to blink back tears but failed. In silence he sensed Viggo’s wordless pain much closely and that deepened his heartache of the loss of Orlando, his human lover, their intimate friend. He left Viggo in tears to caress Orlando awhile; however, Sean knew they were pushed for time: the body in his arms had been gradually losing its warmth.
“Quick, before Hades takes him,” Sean prompted Viggo, steady but quietly.
Letting the tears run down his cheeks, Viggo turned his watery eyes towards Sean, which were eloquent enough to ask whether he really should do that on Orlando, so Sean nodded to encourage him.
“I’m not able to do but you can, Zephyrus, the wind-god to bring spring prosperity. And none of us want him to leave us, I know.”
And that was true. Viggo didn’t want to let him go, he wasn’t even ready for that yet. Orlando was a human to be mortal, but the bereavement should have to be in the distant future, not now, not such sudden, not for… his fault. Ah, for my fault! Viggo felt the new tears welling up and shut his eyes tightly to fight back them. He needed a great concentration on what he was going to do from now. Sean watched Viggo breathing deeply to stop trembling, and patiently waited to see the wind-god gently bent down to Orlando.
“Orli, I’m sorry – but I love you. Please forgive me…”
Viggo kissed and breathed on Orlando’s pallid eyelids and lips. Then he shifted Orlando’s body from Sean’s arms to his own, letting his bloodless forehead lean towards Viggo’s chest, so that he could push aside the man’s bloody strands to examine the wound on the back of his head. The bleeding from the cut dyed his fingers but there was no time to care about that. As Sean said there was hardly any time left, everything should be done in hurry. And there it was the still bleeding fresh wound exposed to accuse Viggo of his sin. Sean didn’t miss the pain reflected in his friend’s eyes, but before he could say something, Viggo quickly brought his lips towards the wound to kiss and breathe his very divine breath on, the breath of the grace promising the cycle of life.
Silently, Viggo pressed Orlando’s head to his chest and buried his nose into the young man’s black hair. Sean mutely cuddled up, got his arms around Viggo and held him together with Orlando. Now that the time had come, the two gods both felt the last dew of Orlando’s life was dropping off from his body. And in another moment, Sean saw the countless crimson petals strewn over Orlando one after another. Unfolding his arms, he looked down his own chest and Viggo’s to see the bloodstains there turning into the pieces and pieces of red petals, and one by one flaked off to flutter down over the still body of Orlando.
“So you’ve done well, Zephyrus,” Sean sighed with relief. The satisfaction in that voice let Viggo face up to look at his golden friend.
“Or I confined him…”
“That’s not true, my friend. He could have gone if he didn’t want to stay.”
But who can refuse to be immortal, whatsoever it would be? Viggo wondered but reminded silent. He didn’t feel like disputing with Sean over that. There seemed no point to talk about this issue at this moment. He gave his grace and Orlando took that, all had been already done.
Viggo blankly gazed at Sean scooping up a palmful of petals and kissed them. Then he turned his eyes towards in his arms, Orlando, now his body was half covered with a myriad of crimson petals born from his own blood, his new anima in a different form. He wasn’t sure it was really what the human friend wanted with all his heart, and he wouldn’t know that forever. He tenderly caressed Orlando’s cold cheeks. Maybe Sean was right, Orlando had chosen it by himself to stay on earth, to stay with Sean to show his heart, because… because Sean wanted that.
Ah, such lovebirds shouldn’t be ripped apart! The fact floored Viggo and he felt the great grief coming up his throat again. If only he could turn back the clock, or else could vanish himself right now! But no one could unwind the time, not even Zeus. He smoothed Orlando’s hair and gave him a kiss of apologizing on the forehead. I’m sorry for everything, Orli – I’ve killed you, made you leave Apollo and tied you to the earth.
After waiting Viggo to raise his face, Sean gently took Orlando’s remain from his arms to lay it down on the grass. Covered by a sea of petals, the young man looked as if just sleeping, except for his bloodless face. Viggo watched Sean stroking the cold cheek of his passed lover, wondering if by some miracle Orlando would open his eyes to smile at his lover, but that would never happen, of course.
“I’ll ask the earth to embrace him as he’d be at peace until his time comes round every spring, but it’s up to you,” Viggo asked Sean demurely, “You’re taking him back to his family? Or want me to let you alone?”
“Let’s return him to the earth.” Sean took Orlando’s hand, brought it to his lips, and placed a soft kiss on his fingers, “So that my light of the sun can kiss his earth everyday.”
“Then I’m sweeping the clouds away for you,” Viggo dropped his eyes. He couldn’t help wallowing in guilt, never would he get used to this pain, but this was what he had to deal with for the rest of his life.
Viggo swallowed the lump in his throat and asked Sean to take up Orlando’s upper body. While Sean was doing that, he bent himself down to kiss on the ground where Orlando’s blood had seeped, then placed his forehead against there, closing his eyes, motionlessly like a prayer waiting for a Pythian oracle. Sean felt as if it would last forever, but before long Viggo unbent quietly and let Sean place back Orlando’s body on the grass, and there Sean saw herbs and grass start to grow to cover Orlando’s body gradually sinking into the bosom of the earth.
“You’ll see him opening beautiful red flowers during spring through summer,” Viggo murmured, “his earthbound life will last forever as long as the seasons go around.”
“I feel Orli,” Sean tenderly caressed the place where Orlando was laid to sleep as he used to do for his lover, who had now united with the earth, one of the elements of the great nature, they all gods belonging to. Through the tender heat of the earth Sean could feel the energy of Orlando, and that sensation soothed his sorrow a lot. “Thank you for giving him your grace, Zephyrus.”
“Don’t say thank you, it’s far from it,” Viggo shook his head, “I have to apology to you both… I shouldn’t have made such a rush of wind.”
“You don’t have to talk about that now,” Sean looked at his friend’s still pale face. “I don’t feel upset about you anymore. Whether the accident was your fault or not, he couldn’t have escaped from the cutter of Atropos. Nobody can flee from the arms of the three Fates Moirae.”
“But you have a right to blame me for what I’ve done.”
“I won’t blame you,” Sean patted Viggo on his arm reassuringly. “Don’t push yourself, you look so blue.”
“Thank you, but I’m alright.”
‘You don’t look alright at all’ was what Sean bit back, instead he stroked Viggo’s arm to comfort him, “The accident brought me sore but no anger anymore, and I’m really not angry at you. But if you need to talk about that, then I’ll listen to you.”
To form his thoughts into words Viggo dropped his eyes awhile, and then raised them back to meet Sean’s and started to talk,
“When I found you and Orli playing the discus, I didn’t want to interrupt you, so I was leaving there, but at that time…,” he paused choking a lump in his throat. Tears rapidly gathered in his eyes and Sean surprised how straight he kept his eyes meeting Sean’s even under the circumstances.
“…At that time,” quivering, Viggo struggled to continue his words, “Orli called your name… well, I don’t know, but I suppose that was your name, because I heard that but couldn’t catch the sounds…, and you turned back to give him a smile, and…,” pausing again, he swallowed a lump in his throat and blinked with emotion, so the tears on the brink of overflowing helplessly spilled over onto his cheeks. Without wiping them away Viggo went on,
“And that occurred. I don’t know why, but it…, it just happened. I have no idea what’s made me do that, really, but I know there’s no excuse. And that’s all I call tell you.”
Sean had lost his words: it was such an unexpected confession that he couldn’t follow what Viggo meant well. Orli called my name, I smiled back at him, and that upset him to cause that sudden blast? If the narration was in reason, then wouldn’t it mean that he got jealous of Orli? However, never once had Sean got such a kind of suggestive sign from Viggo. Even right now his straight eyes didn’t seem to convey any romantic feelings at all. Sean tried to say something but just ended up moving his lips slightly, and that brought Viggo to drop his eyes from Sean’s apologetically.
“I’m sorry about I can’t explain myself well,” cowering, Viggo muttered, blinked away and roughly wiped his still weeping eyes with the back of his hand.
In confusion, without any apparent thought but from impulse, Sean raised his hand, cupped the teary cheek of Viggo and traced each line of tears with his fingertips. This sudden behaviour startled Viggo and he just looked at Sean wonderingly, but the moment Sean tenderly wiped away the teardrops in his corner of eye: a slight flash of tremor in his hand was what Sean felt at first then, in the next breath, Sean amazed at Viggo’s face growing flushed to the tips of his ears. It was such a pronounced change that Sean had a stunned pause, almost forgetting what he was doing, until a sudden flurry of wind whirred around them to let him come round.
“Uh, sorry,” awkwardly Sean took his hand back, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Viggo’s, which were red-rimmed and timidly gazing back at Sean’s.
“No, I should say sorry, I’m… just not myself.” Viggo lowered his eyelashes for shame for his odd behaviour towards Sean, then looked him in the eye and said, “Thank you for your concern.”
“Not at all…” Sean responded automatically, feeling himself far from being normally. Now he couldn’t turn away from his old friend, especially his moist bluegray eyes. Up to this very moment, he didn’t know Viggo’s eyes were such eloquent windows of his heart, and it hit Sean like a thunderbolt: He’s in love with me, but he himself doesn’t know it!
In shock and disbelief, Sean looked back on his past with Viggo. It had been quite long since they got to know each other, but he couldn’t think of any memories related to their intimacy beyond the friendship. Ruminating, he gave a sideway glace at Viggo, who seemed to be distracted by Orlando’s petals spiralling down to them and on the grass: So, if he loves me, what would I do?
Sean had never got into relationship with other male or female gods before. He favoured a human lover, because he preferred the vital brightness and toughness of the mortal beings to the decadence and boredom karma the god beings had. While on the other hand, Viggo always went out with nymphs or goddesses. No male lovers he had had as long as Sean knew, except for the case of Orlando, which had turned out to be his broken heart to Sean’s surprise: he would thought Orlando would choose Viggo, because their human friend used to be more enthralled by Viggo… and now, suddenly, there came to him the words Olando once said: Because he’s not in love with me.
*** *** ***
“Because he’s not in love with me,” said Orlando when he was asked why he chose Sean but not Viggo.
Since that was a kind of cozy pillow talk, Sean didn’t pay attention much to what Orlando meant. It was in one of their very intimate moments at the beginning of their new relationship.
“Could be,” Sean chuckled, “he has lots of beautiful birds on his arms, so you’ve made a good choice, so to speak.”
“But don’t get me wrong, Sean, you’re not his alternative. I love you.”
“No doubt about that, my love. You’ve got my name and it’ll stay with you as long as your love is true. But to be fair for my friend, I must tell you that Zephyrus is obviously in love with you. He’d never toy with love.”
“I know that,” Orlando smiled a little wanly, “but I feel guilty for him… I love you both a lot. Kiss me, Sean, my god…”
*** *** ***
Heavens, then Orli was talking about this!
Stunned in silence, Sean speechlessly looked at Viggo: His deep-set crystal bluegray eyes, perfect bridge of the straight nose, now tightened but usually talkative line of the lips, tanned smooth skin over the high cheekbones to the dimple in the chin, soft strawberry blond and muscular body with clean limbs, …Damned, he’s so …amazing!
Maybe Sean was gazing at Viggo too much rude while he was lost in his thoughts: Viggo jiggled his body uncomfortably and Sean returned to himself. Showing a kind of mixed emotions of shyness and embarrassment, Viggo was mutely staring about the sun-god. Well, it was a new aspect of him Sean to see for the first time, but no wonder, he had never gazed on Viggo like this, almost examining, before.
“Are you OK?” head tilted, Viggo stared in Sean’s eyes questioningly.
“Ah – yeah, I’m all right.”
Sean blinked as if dazzled by his friend’s straight eyes. It was kind of an amazing experience that now Sean could easily see Viggo’s truth reflected in his eyes. He wondered why he could be blind to such a visible sign of his love by now. The love once Orlando saw in his eyes and Sean had come to realize, but only Viggo himself hadn’t learned who he was, yet.
Could he go with a man – or with me? Looking at still puzzled Viggo, Sean thought in stony silence. What it’d be like to get steady with him? My old friend, footloose lifeful Anemoi, one of the vagarious wind-gods. No one is able to ground him to be around, nor am I, never.
Sean’s earnest eyes made Viggo uncomfortable in a constrained silence. Until a little while ago Sean looked more – well, relaxed, though filled with sorrow, but now he gave Viggo a stern look, lowering his brows, without a single word. He may well get angry… and that’s a given, I hurt him a lot… Viggo slightly shuddered with fear and regret mixed with pain. He never apology enough to them, actually he had no idea how to show his apologizing in words. Maybe he should leave now, to let Sean alone as he could spend time with his memories of Orlando. Since nothing had left what he could do for them, there seemed no reason for Viggo to stay here any longer. He couldn’t stand the situation anymore; to be condemned would be much better than this weird tensed silence. I’ve lost the two of my beloved friends at once, but I have no right to cry out about that. Clenching his jaw, Viggo was about opening his wings to catch the air. Must go now… and just in time:
With merry laughter, few nymphs of the breath of air ran through between them, stirring up Orlando’s red petals in the air. Greeting the sun-god with ripple of hello and bows, the nymphs gathered to stay around Viggo, giving hundreds of greeting kisses and caresses on his face and hair, inviting him to soar to the sky. While Sean was taken back, Viggo slowly started to float up. And very suddenly Sean found himself didn’t want Viggo to go. He wanted to… or wanted him to… to what? Now Orlando’s petals were fluttering here and there like a shower of blossom. Not knowing what to do, Sean vaguely had a view of Viggo flying upwards surrounded by the air-nymphs. Their past friend’s pieces of life were airily dancing a waltz with nymphs in the air, up and down, swung and turned… Then a soft, sweet voice waft in the breeze had caught his attention. “Come on, Vig…”
‘Vig’ … it might be his name, but the moment Sean heard the sound, it vanished like a bubble leaving no traces in his memory, and he couldn’t stop an unexpected jealousy swelling up in his mind: So Zephyrus gave his name to the nymph!
Gods’ names were a part of their graces: to call his name Sean had to be given it by Viggo himself, and they had never exchanged their names each other, because they were friends, because friends didn’t need to share their names. But if they were just a friend, why did Viggo look at Sean in that way? Why did Sean now feel a sudden urge to call his name, not the god’s name but his true one, and wanted him to call Sean’s own as well? It sounds as if I’m in love him too…though I’ve just lost my Orlando! Sean felt dizzy, but maybe that was true, maybe he loved Viggo. Since when? He had no idea. It seemed like from now this moment, or seemed like since olden days.
As higher and higher went on the wind-god and his nymphs, the red petal flakes whirled upwards as if following them in a tailwind. With his eyes half-closed by the afternoon blue sky, Sean watched Viggo made a hovering to expand his wings wider, flapping them twice or thrice, and just before seemingly flying sky-high away, he glanced down Sean and…
“Zephyrus!”
The word automatically sprang to Sean’s lips: he read Viggo said “good bye” with no voice, and understood he was going to vanish in front of Sean, forever.
“No, you can’t leave me like this!”
Sean thundered. The voice scattered the nymphs and threatened Viggo, but he had no room to care about that, because he knew how it would be hard to catch the wind-gods once they decided not to show themselves.
“Stay with me, don’t go. We – we need talk.”
After a quite long silence, the breeze brought the quivering words of Viggo. “Talk – but about what? I have no words to apologize to you both,” pensively he paused, “…But if there’s something I could do for you, tell me, I’ll do my best, I swear. Any requirements or punishments are welcome, and you have a right to do on me what you want, Apollo.”
“No, you shouldn’t swear such things,” said Sean, wondering how to begin by saying about what he had just seen into Viggo’s eyes, and his newborn feelings towards Viggo. He didn’t want Viggo to have any guilty feelings about the new relationship they might start to build from now.
Sean closed his eyes and had deep breaths to calm down. Viggo believed Sean was still in love with Orlando, and it was true; but he was also in love with Viggo, there was no inconsistency of these feelings. Orlando, you were wrong, Sean talked to his lover in his mind. Viggo is in love with you. Now I understand that well, because I am in love with you both, though you human beings maybe can’t deal with our multiple loves: we love you for your momentary brightness as a mortal being.
Sean had decided what to say at the beginning. He wanted Viggo to call his name with his soft velvet voice. He imagined how it would sound like and that made him smile.
Sean opened his eyes to meet Viggo’s, spreading his arms towards his friend of the wind-god.
“Come down here beside me, Zephyrus, and let me give you my name, please.”
END
Motionlessly, Viggo stared down at Sean to press Orlando’s head to his chest firmly. Then he turned his eyes blankly towards the discus on the grass beside them. It was bloody. So, poor Olando might have been deadly wounded on the back of his head – he watched the weapon hitting there – but from his place he couldn’t see any injures on the beautiful man in Sean’s arms. Only the blood spreading on Sean’s torso told him the young charming human was… dying. Everything seemed to be an unrealistic incident, like a nightmare. Oh yes, he couldn’t have killed Orlando, because…
“Zzzephyrusss!”
Sean’s deep threatening voice vibrated the air, which made some birds flapped away from the treetops while the other living matters conceal themselves, and was enough to pull Viggo back into the reality with great fear and awe. Viggo slowly turned his look back at Sean, Apollo the high god, the sun of Zeus and Leto. On his knees on the grass Sean held his lover, sharply looking up at Viggo in the air. Once his fiercely green eyes met Viggo’s, this angry sun-god didn’t let go of them even for a split of second, so Viggo couldn’t but start to tremble, almost crying, partly for the fear of killing his human friend Orlando, partly for another reason: they two gods had been friends for ages, but never once had Viggo got such a harsh glare from this golden god.
“I… I never meant to that...,” Viggo faded out weakly. His throat was so thick for panic that he couldn’t speak well or figure out what to say.
“As you say. But what you’ve meant doesn’t matter. What you’ve done is we should take now.”
Sean’s divine voice shook Viggo and the reality hit him. Breaking out in a cold sweat, his heart was racing as if it was throbbing out of his chest. Orlando is dying? And I did that?
“You were killing my Orlando,” Sean went on, “but he is your friend, and I know you also love him too. Why did you make such a sudden gust against him?”
There were such controlled hurt and anger in his accusation that Viggo somehow tried gathering his words put together, but “I don’t know…” was all what he could say.
Though it was an almost slurred mumble, Sean could hear the tremor in his unclear voice, and he learned that Viggo was in great shock from what he had made. He knew this Anemoi well – Viggo was a merciful god with a heart of gold, definitely far from killing a person for any reason. So it might be a kind of accident, as he said. Or else, what? With a sigh Sean shook his head, pushed aside his thoughts and looked down at the pallid face of his human lover. Sean almost could have believed Orlando was just sleeping if he didn’t feel the smell and the warmth of the blood soaking his arms.
“He has… died?” hoarsely Viggo asked.
“Not yet. But soon.” Sean glanced up at Viggo without resting his hand from stroking his lover’s colourless cheek. “The wound is so deep that I can’t heal it. I feel his life is draining out.”
No sooner had he finished his words than Viggo caught his breath, and the sound let Sean cut his eyes at him again. Then it was his turn to gasp at Viggo, who was hovering there frozen, gazing at Orlando wordlessly with a wobbly, pale scared look. Sean had never seen him get so weakly… badly like this before. Heavens, he’s more like dying!
“Come down, friend.”
Sean invited Viggo, managing to show no anger in his voice or eyes anymore, and it was surprising to find there was no hardship to do so at all. However, Viggo, yet without any single word, lamely shook his head and stepped back a little, while his eyes kept fixating on the young man in Sean’s arms. Sean recognized his lips faintly shaping “no” and “I’m sorry” repeatedly, and felt Viggo’s distress and sadness had gradually diffused in the air like water ripples on the lake.
His nasty jolt brought Sean pain rather than irritation: nevertheless Sean had the grief of losing his mortal lover, he felt a sudden compulsion to ease the fear and sadness dominating over Viggo, whether the accident was intended or not. The two gods had been friends of Orlando since his very childhood. Even while they were fighting over this beautiful young man, the three of them were the good company all the time, and their friendship had never changed after Orlando chosen Sean. He knew that as a fact.
Besides, Sean liked this moderate but vigorous god of the west wind a lot, from the depth of his heart. Unlike many of the other gods or people, Viggo never neither flattered him nor hesitated to get along with him. This loving Anemoi was always truly open and friendly with Sean, so he was simply able to feel good around him, anytime anywhere.
The more blood had been losing from Orlando, the more Viggo had inched backwards away. Feeling the weight of Orlando’s helpless body, Sean frowned in fear that Viggo was just going to fly away into the distance in a panic, and his intuition told him that he shouldn’t let Viggo go like this. Sean called on Viggo again,
“If you love him, come and kiss him to give your grace, Zephyrus, the messenger of spring and the lover of Chloris dominating spring.”
And this time it worked. After some hesitation, Viggo alighted on the grass, kneed in front of Sean, cautiously looked into the pale face of Orlando and reached his trembling fingers to touch his yet slightly warm cheeks. Since Viggo’s pale face came to right under Sean’s nose, Sean could see his sadness-filled eyes with quivering thick eyelashes tried to blink back tears but failed. In silence he sensed Viggo’s wordless pain much closely and that deepened his heartache of the loss of Orlando, his human lover, their intimate friend. He left Viggo in tears to caress Orlando awhile; however, Sean knew they were pushed for time: the body in his arms had been gradually losing its warmth.
“Quick, before Hades takes him,” Sean prompted Viggo, steady but quietly.
Letting the tears run down his cheeks, Viggo turned his watery eyes towards Sean, which were eloquent enough to ask whether he really should do that on Orlando, so Sean nodded to encourage him.
“I’m not able to do but you can, Zephyrus, the wind-god to bring spring prosperity. And none of us want him to leave us, I know.”
And that was true. Viggo didn’t want to let him go, he wasn’t even ready for that yet. Orlando was a human to be mortal, but the bereavement should have to be in the distant future, not now, not such sudden, not for… his fault. Ah, for my fault! Viggo felt the new tears welling up and shut his eyes tightly to fight back them. He needed a great concentration on what he was going to do from now. Sean watched Viggo breathing deeply to stop trembling, and patiently waited to see the wind-god gently bent down to Orlando.
“Orli, I’m sorry – but I love you. Please forgive me…”
Viggo kissed and breathed on Orlando’s pallid eyelids and lips. Then he shifted Orlando’s body from Sean’s arms to his own, letting his bloodless forehead lean towards Viggo’s chest, so that he could push aside the man’s bloody strands to examine the wound on the back of his head. The bleeding from the cut dyed his fingers but there was no time to care about that. As Sean said there was hardly any time left, everything should be done in hurry. And there it was the still bleeding fresh wound exposed to accuse Viggo of his sin. Sean didn’t miss the pain reflected in his friend’s eyes, but before he could say something, Viggo quickly brought his lips towards the wound to kiss and breathe his very divine breath on, the breath of the grace promising the cycle of life.
Silently, Viggo pressed Orlando’s head to his chest and buried his nose into the young man’s black hair. Sean mutely cuddled up, got his arms around Viggo and held him together with Orlando. Now that the time had come, the two gods both felt the last dew of Orlando’s life was dropping off from his body. And in another moment, Sean saw the countless crimson petals strewn over Orlando one after another. Unfolding his arms, he looked down his own chest and Viggo’s to see the bloodstains there turning into the pieces and pieces of red petals, and one by one flaked off to flutter down over the still body of Orlando.
“So you’ve done well, Zephyrus,” Sean sighed with relief. The satisfaction in that voice let Viggo face up to look at his golden friend.
“Or I confined him…”
“That’s not true, my friend. He could have gone if he didn’t want to stay.”
But who can refuse to be immortal, whatsoever it would be? Viggo wondered but reminded silent. He didn’t feel like disputing with Sean over that. There seemed no point to talk about this issue at this moment. He gave his grace and Orlando took that, all had been already done.
Viggo blankly gazed at Sean scooping up a palmful of petals and kissed them. Then he turned his eyes towards in his arms, Orlando, now his body was half covered with a myriad of crimson petals born from his own blood, his new anima in a different form. He wasn’t sure it was really what the human friend wanted with all his heart, and he wouldn’t know that forever. He tenderly caressed Orlando’s cold cheeks. Maybe Sean was right, Orlando had chosen it by himself to stay on earth, to stay with Sean to show his heart, because… because Sean wanted that.
Ah, such lovebirds shouldn’t be ripped apart! The fact floored Viggo and he felt the great grief coming up his throat again. If only he could turn back the clock, or else could vanish himself right now! But no one could unwind the time, not even Zeus. He smoothed Orlando’s hair and gave him a kiss of apologizing on the forehead. I’m sorry for everything, Orli – I’ve killed you, made you leave Apollo and tied you to the earth.
After waiting Viggo to raise his face, Sean gently took Orlando’s remain from his arms to lay it down on the grass. Covered by a sea of petals, the young man looked as if just sleeping, except for his bloodless face. Viggo watched Sean stroking the cold cheek of his passed lover, wondering if by some miracle Orlando would open his eyes to smile at his lover, but that would never happen, of course.
“I’ll ask the earth to embrace him as he’d be at peace until his time comes round every spring, but it’s up to you,” Viggo asked Sean demurely, “You’re taking him back to his family? Or want me to let you alone?”
“Let’s return him to the earth.” Sean took Orlando’s hand, brought it to his lips, and placed a soft kiss on his fingers, “So that my light of the sun can kiss his earth everyday.”
“Then I’m sweeping the clouds away for you,” Viggo dropped his eyes. He couldn’t help wallowing in guilt, never would he get used to this pain, but this was what he had to deal with for the rest of his life.
Viggo swallowed the lump in his throat and asked Sean to take up Orlando’s upper body. While Sean was doing that, he bent himself down to kiss on the ground where Orlando’s blood had seeped, then placed his forehead against there, closing his eyes, motionlessly like a prayer waiting for a Pythian oracle. Sean felt as if it would last forever, but before long Viggo unbent quietly and let Sean place back Orlando’s body on the grass, and there Sean saw herbs and grass start to grow to cover Orlando’s body gradually sinking into the bosom of the earth.
“You’ll see him opening beautiful red flowers during spring through summer,” Viggo murmured, “his earthbound life will last forever as long as the seasons go around.”
“I feel Orli,” Sean tenderly caressed the place where Orlando was laid to sleep as he used to do for his lover, who had now united with the earth, one of the elements of the great nature, they all gods belonging to. Through the tender heat of the earth Sean could feel the energy of Orlando, and that sensation soothed his sorrow a lot. “Thank you for giving him your grace, Zephyrus.”
“Don’t say thank you, it’s far from it,” Viggo shook his head, “I have to apology to you both… I shouldn’t have made such a rush of wind.”
“You don’t have to talk about that now,” Sean looked at his friend’s still pale face. “I don’t feel upset about you anymore. Whether the accident was your fault or not, he couldn’t have escaped from the cutter of Atropos. Nobody can flee from the arms of the three Fates Moirae.”
“But you have a right to blame me for what I’ve done.”
“I won’t blame you,” Sean patted Viggo on his arm reassuringly. “Don’t push yourself, you look so blue.”
“Thank you, but I’m alright.”
‘You don’t look alright at all’ was what Sean bit back, instead he stroked Viggo’s arm to comfort him, “The accident brought me sore but no anger anymore, and I’m really not angry at you. But if you need to talk about that, then I’ll listen to you.”
To form his thoughts into words Viggo dropped his eyes awhile, and then raised them back to meet Sean’s and started to talk,
“When I found you and Orli playing the discus, I didn’t want to interrupt you, so I was leaving there, but at that time…,” he paused choking a lump in his throat. Tears rapidly gathered in his eyes and Sean surprised how straight he kept his eyes meeting Sean’s even under the circumstances.
“…At that time,” quivering, Viggo struggled to continue his words, “Orli called your name… well, I don’t know, but I suppose that was your name, because I heard that but couldn’t catch the sounds…, and you turned back to give him a smile, and…,” pausing again, he swallowed a lump in his throat and blinked with emotion, so the tears on the brink of overflowing helplessly spilled over onto his cheeks. Without wiping them away Viggo went on,
“And that occurred. I don’t know why, but it…, it just happened. I have no idea what’s made me do that, really, but I know there’s no excuse. And that’s all I call tell you.”
Sean had lost his words: it was such an unexpected confession that he couldn’t follow what Viggo meant well. Orli called my name, I smiled back at him, and that upset him to cause that sudden blast? If the narration was in reason, then wouldn’t it mean that he got jealous of Orli? However, never once had Sean got such a kind of suggestive sign from Viggo. Even right now his straight eyes didn’t seem to convey any romantic feelings at all. Sean tried to say something but just ended up moving his lips slightly, and that brought Viggo to drop his eyes from Sean’s apologetically.
“I’m sorry about I can’t explain myself well,” cowering, Viggo muttered, blinked away and roughly wiped his still weeping eyes with the back of his hand.
In confusion, without any apparent thought but from impulse, Sean raised his hand, cupped the teary cheek of Viggo and traced each line of tears with his fingertips. This sudden behaviour startled Viggo and he just looked at Sean wonderingly, but the moment Sean tenderly wiped away the teardrops in his corner of eye: a slight flash of tremor in his hand was what Sean felt at first then, in the next breath, Sean amazed at Viggo’s face growing flushed to the tips of his ears. It was such a pronounced change that Sean had a stunned pause, almost forgetting what he was doing, until a sudden flurry of wind whirred around them to let him come round.
“Uh, sorry,” awkwardly Sean took his hand back, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Viggo’s, which were red-rimmed and timidly gazing back at Sean’s.
“No, I should say sorry, I’m… just not myself.” Viggo lowered his eyelashes for shame for his odd behaviour towards Sean, then looked him in the eye and said, “Thank you for your concern.”
“Not at all…” Sean responded automatically, feeling himself far from being normally. Now he couldn’t turn away from his old friend, especially his moist bluegray eyes. Up to this very moment, he didn’t know Viggo’s eyes were such eloquent windows of his heart, and it hit Sean like a thunderbolt: He’s in love with me, but he himself doesn’t know it!
In shock and disbelief, Sean looked back on his past with Viggo. It had been quite long since they got to know each other, but he couldn’t think of any memories related to their intimacy beyond the friendship. Ruminating, he gave a sideway glace at Viggo, who seemed to be distracted by Orlando’s petals spiralling down to them and on the grass: So, if he loves me, what would I do?
Sean had never got into relationship with other male or female gods before. He favoured a human lover, because he preferred the vital brightness and toughness of the mortal beings to the decadence and boredom karma the god beings had. While on the other hand, Viggo always went out with nymphs or goddesses. No male lovers he had had as long as Sean knew, except for the case of Orlando, which had turned out to be his broken heart to Sean’s surprise: he would thought Orlando would choose Viggo, because their human friend used to be more enthralled by Viggo… and now, suddenly, there came to him the words Olando once said: Because he’s not in love with me.
*** *** ***
“Because he’s not in love with me,” said Orlando when he was asked why he chose Sean but not Viggo.
Since that was a kind of cozy pillow talk, Sean didn’t pay attention much to what Orlando meant. It was in one of their very intimate moments at the beginning of their new relationship.
“Could be,” Sean chuckled, “he has lots of beautiful birds on his arms, so you’ve made a good choice, so to speak.”
“But don’t get me wrong, Sean, you’re not his alternative. I love you.”
“No doubt about that, my love. You’ve got my name and it’ll stay with you as long as your love is true. But to be fair for my friend, I must tell you that Zephyrus is obviously in love with you. He’d never toy with love.”
“I know that,” Orlando smiled a little wanly, “but I feel guilty for him… I love you both a lot. Kiss me, Sean, my god…”
*** *** ***
Heavens, then Orli was talking about this!
Stunned in silence, Sean speechlessly looked at Viggo: His deep-set crystal bluegray eyes, perfect bridge of the straight nose, now tightened but usually talkative line of the lips, tanned smooth skin over the high cheekbones to the dimple in the chin, soft strawberry blond and muscular body with clean limbs, …Damned, he’s so …amazing!
Maybe Sean was gazing at Viggo too much rude while he was lost in his thoughts: Viggo jiggled his body uncomfortably and Sean returned to himself. Showing a kind of mixed emotions of shyness and embarrassment, Viggo was mutely staring about the sun-god. Well, it was a new aspect of him Sean to see for the first time, but no wonder, he had never gazed on Viggo like this, almost examining, before.
“Are you OK?” head tilted, Viggo stared in Sean’s eyes questioningly.
“Ah – yeah, I’m all right.”
Sean blinked as if dazzled by his friend’s straight eyes. It was kind of an amazing experience that now Sean could easily see Viggo’s truth reflected in his eyes. He wondered why he could be blind to such a visible sign of his love by now. The love once Orlando saw in his eyes and Sean had come to realize, but only Viggo himself hadn’t learned who he was, yet.
Could he go with a man – or with me? Looking at still puzzled Viggo, Sean thought in stony silence. What it’d be like to get steady with him? My old friend, footloose lifeful Anemoi, one of the vagarious wind-gods. No one is able to ground him to be around, nor am I, never.
Sean’s earnest eyes made Viggo uncomfortable in a constrained silence. Until a little while ago Sean looked more – well, relaxed, though filled with sorrow, but now he gave Viggo a stern look, lowering his brows, without a single word. He may well get angry… and that’s a given, I hurt him a lot… Viggo slightly shuddered with fear and regret mixed with pain. He never apology enough to them, actually he had no idea how to show his apologizing in words. Maybe he should leave now, to let Sean alone as he could spend time with his memories of Orlando. Since nothing had left what he could do for them, there seemed no reason for Viggo to stay here any longer. He couldn’t stand the situation anymore; to be condemned would be much better than this weird tensed silence. I’ve lost the two of my beloved friends at once, but I have no right to cry out about that. Clenching his jaw, Viggo was about opening his wings to catch the air. Must go now… and just in time:
With merry laughter, few nymphs of the breath of air ran through between them, stirring up Orlando’s red petals in the air. Greeting the sun-god with ripple of hello and bows, the nymphs gathered to stay around Viggo, giving hundreds of greeting kisses and caresses on his face and hair, inviting him to soar to the sky. While Sean was taken back, Viggo slowly started to float up. And very suddenly Sean found himself didn’t want Viggo to go. He wanted to… or wanted him to… to what? Now Orlando’s petals were fluttering here and there like a shower of blossom. Not knowing what to do, Sean vaguely had a view of Viggo flying upwards surrounded by the air-nymphs. Their past friend’s pieces of life were airily dancing a waltz with nymphs in the air, up and down, swung and turned… Then a soft, sweet voice waft in the breeze had caught his attention. “Come on, Vig…”
‘Vig’ … it might be his name, but the moment Sean heard the sound, it vanished like a bubble leaving no traces in his memory, and he couldn’t stop an unexpected jealousy swelling up in his mind: So Zephyrus gave his name to the nymph!
Gods’ names were a part of their graces: to call his name Sean had to be given it by Viggo himself, and they had never exchanged their names each other, because they were friends, because friends didn’t need to share their names. But if they were just a friend, why did Viggo look at Sean in that way? Why did Sean now feel a sudden urge to call his name, not the god’s name but his true one, and wanted him to call Sean’s own as well? It sounds as if I’m in love him too…though I’ve just lost my Orlando! Sean felt dizzy, but maybe that was true, maybe he loved Viggo. Since when? He had no idea. It seemed like from now this moment, or seemed like since olden days.
As higher and higher went on the wind-god and his nymphs, the red petal flakes whirled upwards as if following them in a tailwind. With his eyes half-closed by the afternoon blue sky, Sean watched Viggo made a hovering to expand his wings wider, flapping them twice or thrice, and just before seemingly flying sky-high away, he glanced down Sean and…
“Zephyrus!”
The word automatically sprang to Sean’s lips: he read Viggo said “good bye” with no voice, and understood he was going to vanish in front of Sean, forever.
“No, you can’t leave me like this!”
Sean thundered. The voice scattered the nymphs and threatened Viggo, but he had no room to care about that, because he knew how it would be hard to catch the wind-gods once they decided not to show themselves.
“Stay with me, don’t go. We – we need talk.”
After a quite long silence, the breeze brought the quivering words of Viggo. “Talk – but about what? I have no words to apologize to you both,” pensively he paused, “…But if there’s something I could do for you, tell me, I’ll do my best, I swear. Any requirements or punishments are welcome, and you have a right to do on me what you want, Apollo.”
“No, you shouldn’t swear such things,” said Sean, wondering how to begin by saying about what he had just seen into Viggo’s eyes, and his newborn feelings towards Viggo. He didn’t want Viggo to have any guilty feelings about the new relationship they might start to build from now.
Sean closed his eyes and had deep breaths to calm down. Viggo believed Sean was still in love with Orlando, and it was true; but he was also in love with Viggo, there was no inconsistency of these feelings. Orlando, you were wrong, Sean talked to his lover in his mind. Viggo is in love with you. Now I understand that well, because I am in love with you both, though you human beings maybe can’t deal with our multiple loves: we love you for your momentary brightness as a mortal being.
Sean had decided what to say at the beginning. He wanted Viggo to call his name with his soft velvet voice. He imagined how it would sound like and that made him smile.
Sean opened his eyes to meet Viggo’s, spreading his arms towards his friend of the wind-god.
“Come down here beside me, Zephyrus, and let me give you my name, please.”
END
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Date: 2006-10-03 10:29 pm (UTC)I have to admit that sometimes I had to read very carefully to work out,or guess at, what you meant, but the 'gifting' of names is a powerful idea - our society has become so casual that people expect to be able to address you by your first name on little or no acquaintance (perhaps the persona/names we take on as fanfic writers makes us more aware of this - more considerate of others feelings?).
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Date: 2006-10-04 05:14 pm (UTC)Yes, this is very unusual, might be an odd story as a Vigbean fic, but I couldn't stop working on it because the sudden idea of Viggo as Zephyrus prompted me a lot. :P
My image about the relationship of flower, Chloris (or Flora) and Zephyrus is from Primavera by Botticelli, one of my favourite paintings. The idea of the true name, which called 'Mana' in Japanese, is ruted in Japanese culture, I think. 'Mana' originally means 'Kanji'(Chinese letter) in contrast to 'Kana'(Hiragana, arisen from Chinese letters). 'Kanji' is ideographical representations of objects and ideas whereas 'Kana' only conveys sounds, so to know a certain object's 'Mana/true name' means to know what it is, in a sense. I don't think the concept of 'Mana' is familiar to all Japanese, but it's sometimes seen in Japanese fantasy novels, comics, animations or TV games, which teach me how to apply 'Mana/true name' in a story, though it was my first time to use it by myself. I enjoyed creating what style of Mana-usage to use the fic.
European culture to call each other by their first names is not common in Japan. In Japan when you call his/her first name it means you are his/her family, friend or very close acquaintance/co-worker, but even in that case we often use a kind of honorific with the name such as '-san' '-kun' or '-chan' because many people have a tendency to feel it's rude or overfamiliar manner to call someone with his/her first name. I think for us Japanese the first name is kind of a private thing so to speak.
Oops, it's got too long... but just one thing before I end the comment! I would appreciate if you could tell me which point(s) in the fic made you confuse to follow the story, if it's not a burden for you.
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Date: 2006-10-04 06:35 pm (UTC)makar.quine@tiscali.co.uk
I'll reply to you there.
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Date: 2006-10-05 03:02 pm (UTC)I'll e-mail you later, and there's no need to hurry, I really won't bother you about this issue.
*hugs*
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Date: 2006-10-05 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 05:02 pm (UTC)