Christmas Prompt List # 37 Reindeer
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rugbytackleTitle: Prompt # 37 Reindeer
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mooms
Pairing: Sean/Viggo Donner/Blitzen
Rating: G
Warnings: RPS
Summary: Sean may have been drinking but I swear I haven’t !
Disclaimer: Written for fun, not profit and not implying anything about the
real-life activities of either person.
Archive : rugbytackle
Prompt #37 Reindeer
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen
From THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by Clement Clarke Moore
“Shit….. Vig, what the fook was ah drinkin’ last night ? me ‘ead feels so heavy.”
“Um, Sean, promise you’re not gonna freak, but it’s the antlers !”
“Whatever it was, it’s affecting me hearin’, ‘cause I could ‘a sworn yer just said ‘antlers’.”
“Sean, open your eyes, but please keep calm.”
“Aaaaargh !!! “
“ Stop shying and bucking like that, your hooves are trampling the guys in front and the harness will cut into you.”
“But Vig, yer a fookin reindeer !”
“Yes, Sean and so are you !”
“No talking down there in the ranks, Donner, Blitzen, eyes front !”
“
“Not just an elf, but Chief Elf and Santa’s right hand elf, if you don’t mind . Now eyes front and prepare for take-off.”
“Take –off ?? Vig, ah don’t like flyin’ in a fookin’ aeroplane, let alone like this. Ah need a drink !”
“You’re not actually Sean, Sean, so try to be philosophical about this. Sean is scared of flying, but Donner is a flying reindeer, so you’ll be OK. “
“OK ???? What weird definition of OK is this exactly ? Ah went ter sleep…well. Passed out, technically, as Sean Bean, actor, in bed with me boyfriend and woke up as a soddin’ reindeer, up ter me fetlocks in snow, harnessed to Santa’s sleigh, looking up another reindeer’s arse, being ordered around by the Elf with delusions of grandeur an’ apparently about to plunge off a fookin cliff without a parachute an’ “Blitzen” is telling me it’s OK ?”
“There, there, I asked you not to freak out. This isn’t helpful. You’ve just deposited a huge pile of dung under the noses of the guys behind. Sorry, Prancer and Vixen, my partner is a little nervous.”
“Well ah’ve a right ter be nervous. This has been a bit of a shock an’ ah don’t like the way that Prancer is eyin’ up me arse, Vig!”
“It’s OK, Sean, a reindeer you may be, and a very cute one, I must say, but you’re my reindeer !”*nuzzle*
“Thanks, mate, but why aren’t you nervous ? Even inside that maelstrom of arty weirdness that passes for your mind, this can’t by any stretch of the imagination be construed as OK!”
“Right everybody, on the crack of the whip, in formation, following Rudolph…..”
“Whip ??? ………… Woooooooooooh !!”
“Breathe, Sean, we’re airborne !”
“Aye, ah know ! Hold me hand, Vig.”
“Er, hoof, Donner ! Look, we don’t seem to need them for the flying, so I’ll kind of hook my front one around yours. Better ?”
“Thanks, Blitzen. This is all a horrible dream, Please tell me it’s a dream. Woooh ! Ah think ah’m gonna throw up !”
“Deep breaths, now. Don’t you find this exhilarating ? And so interesting ! I’ve always wanted to really feel at one with nature, but to actually become an animal, this is awesome !”
“Fookin’ method actor ! If we had to become animals, why couldn’t we be lions or tigers ? Never saw meself as a soddin’ reindeer !”
“To tell the truth, you’re beautiful, Donner. You’re a very pretty shade of beige and your antlers are downright magnificent.”
“An’ ah wish me name were different . Sounds like you’re calling me “Donna”, like a bloody bird !”
“So you’d rather be Cupid ? Stop snorting at me. I think you’re losing your sense of humour !”
“Ow, Sean, stop it !!”
“Wahhhhhh ?”
“You were head-butting me in your sleep and muttering in German ! Something about Donner und Blitzen. You don’t even speak German !”
“Shit….. Vig, what the fook was ah drinkin’ last night ? Me ‘ead feels so heavy.”
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 09:11 pm (UTC)Poor Sean/Donner, wanting only to keep his hooves firmly on the ground!
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Date: 2006-12-07 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 11:12 pm (UTC)Rudolph the red nose reindeer, lalala
Gosh, I am drunk! Me head.... *headdesk*
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Date: 2006-12-07 02:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 12:27 am (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2006-12-07 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 05:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 02:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 05:15 am (UTC)Of course, I'll never of Santa and the Reindeers in the same way again *wink*
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Date: 2006-12-07 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 09:31 pm (UTC)Heheh...!:D
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Date: 2006-12-07 10:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-08 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-09 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-08 10:54 am (UTC)*snorts hysterically as reads again!*
It's also very sweet. I love this!!! Really feel good for this time of year!!!
Well Done!!!
Merry Christmas!!
no subject
Date: 2006-12-09 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-08 01:28 pm (UTC)"Ah went ter sleep… as Sean Bean, actor, in bed with me boyfriend and woke up as a soddin’ reindeer, up ter me fetlocks in snow, harnessed to Santa’s sleigh, looking up another reindeer’s arse, being ordered around by the Elf with delusions of grandeur an’ apparently about to plunge off a fookin cliff without a parachute an’ “Blitzen” is telling me it’s OK ?”"
*chortles again*
Most inventive!!!!
no subject
Date: 2006-12-09 03:35 pm (UTC)