Family Values 4/7
Jan. 28th, 2008 06:09 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
govigmoombean.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
rugbytackleTitle : Family Values 4/7
Pairing : Sean/Viggo
Rating : upto NC-17
Warning : AU
Summary : Sean is a succesfull solicitor, and unhappily married. Guess what happens when his daughter falls in love with Viggo's son. Viggo who is unruly and hippy-like.
Authors :![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mooms (Viggo) & govi20 (Sean)
DISCLAIMER : Written for fun, not for profit. All lies !
Previous parts : here
Pairing : Sean/Viggo
Rating : upto NC-17
Warning : AU
Summary : Sean is a succesfull solicitor, and unhappily married. Guess what happens when his daughter falls in love with Viggo's son. Viggo who is unruly and hippy-like.
Authors :
mooms (Viggo) & govi20 (Sean) DISCLAIMER : Written for fun, not for profit. All lies !
Previous parts : here
Family Values
Part 4/7
Viggo
I wake up to a restless Sean and as I slowly swim to the surface of consciousness, he groans audibly.
When I manage to find my voice enough to ask him if he is okay, he admits he is not. Well I’m not surprised that he is panicking in the aftermath of the pretty hot sex we shared earlier, so I hold him tight and do my best to soothe him. He’s right that we need to talk, but I want to postpone that for as long as possible, for fear of what he will say.
We kiss and I slide down his body and swallow his cock to distract him, telling him that I will blow away his worries.
I am out of practice, but I still manage to make him buck and squirm, gripping onto the bed and making delicious noises.
I use everything in my repertoire to bring him to a shuddering orgasm and ignore his warnings, swallowing all he can give me and gentling his softening cock with my tongue, before I release him and slide back up to face him. He is lying with his eyes closed, trying to get his breathing back under control and the worry furrow has gone from his brow.
Kissing him on his forehead and working down to his mouth again, I reflect that this is only a temporary fix. In the past, Chris always used to accuse me of using sex to avoid addressing issues between us.
“You may be good, but you can’t just fuck everything okay,” she would say.
”There comes a time, when you finally have to talk.”
Maybe if we had talked more, it wouldn’t have come to this, but being with Sean has brought a lot of stuff to the surface for me and maybe it’s time to change course. There’s no denying that there are plenty of obstacles, though and I think they may bother the more conventional Sean more than they bother me.
This close to him, I notice that he has really delicate ears for a man and I nibble on the nearest lobe. He opens his eyes and smiles at me,
“So a least we know that it is like riding a bike, then. Fucking you was like freewheeling down a steep hill, with your hands and feet off the pedals and handle bars. Scary as hell, but exhilarating as hell too!”
“I always had you figured for a show-off! Did you really say ‘exhilarating’ when you were ten? ”
Sean hits me with a pillow and we wrestle a little until he gets hard again. He shakes his head as he looks down at his cock.
“He’s getting more of a work out in a few hours than he’s had in years. Must think it’s his birthday!”
“Well as we used all the body lotion and have only shower gel left, if you’d like to join me in the shower, I think we will be able to convince him he’s right.”
I am almost trampled in the rush and we end up squeezed tightly into the small shower stall, me pressed up against the tiling. Sean kisses me senseless, then lifts my hips and I wrap my legs around him. He curses colourfully and says he forgot the condom.
It would be great to tell him to go ahead and to hell with it, but Chris and I were still having sex up until a few weeks ago and like I said, Paul was not her first lover. I never asked her if she practised safe sex with her boyfriends -seemed bad manners somehow - so I can’t guarantee that we’ll be okay.
Reluctantly, I put my legs down and let him go get prepared. He arrives back through the shower curtain, preceded by his jutting cock, sheathed in blue latex.
“Eat your heart out, Janet Leigh, I say. Psycho was never like this!”
“I do intend to impale you, though,” and I gasp as he grabs my hips again and makes good on his promise.
We are squashed so closely together, that neither of us can get a hand between us to attend to my throbbing cock, but it turns out that I don’t need any further stimulation and in a very short time, we both shoot our loads again.
We dry off and crawl back to bed, falling asleep again almost immediately and the next time I wake, it is light and Sean is sitting on the edge of the bed, half dressed.
I sit up and kiss his shoulder, rubbing my hand up his back. It worries me that he doesn’t turn and face me.
“You know, once we get back in practise, we’ll be able to last longer. Next time we’ll try for the full three minutes.”
He doesn’t answer for a long time, then when he does, he speaks so softly that I strain to hear him.
“Well, that’s the thing, Viggo. I don’t think there should be, don’t think there can be a next time.”
Sean
I must say he’s absolutely convincing and he does make me forget my worries. Within minutes am clenching the sheets between my fingers to prevent me from grabbing his head and just shoving in deep, like I want. The few times I allowed myself to think about the early days, I remembered it being good, but not this good.
He’s doing the most wonderful things with his tongue, reducing me to a begging, whimpering mass, and I don’t even fucking care. I do try to warn him when I feel I am close to coming, But he just holds me firmly, and sucks and swallows deliberately around my cock, until orgasm ripples through me and hits me hard.
I lie back with my eyes still closed, panting, but feeling more alive than I have done in more than 25 years. He comes back up and kisses me, and then he teases my earlobe. I like the feeling and I open my eyes and smile at him.
Immediately we are back to joking, and I realize that apart from the amazing and hot sex, we also have a lot of fun together. Perhaps that is what I’ve missed most in my marriage.
Mary and I don’t have that same sense of humour. I know she thinks I am strange and blames it on my background. Mary only laughs – in a very delicate way of course – when we go to a play, or sometimes after a party, mocking her closest girlfriends for the clothes they wear.
Here with Viggo, I can be myself again, and we even have a pillow fight, Wrestling for fun amazingly gives me another hard on, and I want him again. It’s as if I am back being a horny teenager again.
Unfortunately we’re out of anything we could use for lube, but Viggo is resourceful, and we wind up pressed together in the shower stall. Of course I have to step out and get the condom I forgot, and again we’re laughing together, making inappropriate Psycho comments.
It does occur to me that maybe, just maybe, I should have him let me fuck me this time. It’s something I never allowed anyone to do, but I trust him, even though we’ve only just found each other. ´Maybe next time,´ I think while I fuck him into the wall, biting my completion into the arch of his neck. Again it was so good it didn’t last long.
We rub each other dry, and then we’re back to bed, both exhausted enough to fall asleep immediately.
This time when I awake, it’s clearly daytime, and I entangle myself carefully from a still sleeping Viggo. Again I feel panic rising up. As good as it was – and it was, I am not going to deny that – I still have my daughter to think of.
There are a lot of issues we’ll have to address too, and I must be a father in the first place, must put her needs before mine.
I sit on the foot of the bed and slowly start dressing, intending to just leave, making it easier for both of us, but I can’t. I never get any further than putting on my jeans and socks and I just sit there, feeling sorry for myself.
Finally Viggo wakes up, running a hand over my still naked back and then kissing me. I don’t turn round to face him, because I know I will give in, again, like I did last night.
When he refers to a next time I say it, although I almost choke on it,
”I don’t think there should be, don’t think there can be a next time.”
His hand falls off my back, but he scoots closer on the bed. His voice is soft, but clearly audible.
“Are you sorry about what happened last night Sean? Is that what you are saying? “
This time I do turn around and look him full in the face.
“No Viggo, I am not, it was great, and special and… but I have Lucy to think off, and you have your son. I couldn’t bear losing Lucy, you’ve got to understand that.“
His face softens, and he smiles at me. “I do understand Sean, and as open minded as Blake is, I still think he will have some trouble coping with this too. But then again, we don’t have to tell them immediately, do we? “
I lean back at him, and just the support of his solid frame makes me feel better already. He wraps an arm around me, and then kisses the back of my head.
“I think you should first talk to Lucy about her leaving home Sean. Tell her you have been overreacting. Tell her about you and Mary not fitting together any more. Just be careful to not blame Mary, it will drive Lucy away from you. And then perhaps she’ll be willing to go home with you. Of course you’ll then have to talk to Mary. “
He grabs my shoulder, turning me to face him.
”And maybe that’ll buy us some time to decide on where we are going Sean. Can you live with that? “
Viggo
My stomach turns over, when Sean says he doesn’t think we can go on and the queasy feeling reminds me that I didn’t eat at all yesterday.
I feel reassured by the fact that he doesn’t actually regret what we did, but he is worried about his daughter and wants to put her first. I hold him again and suggest a way forward right now.
He needs to talk to Lucy and level with her about him and her mum and then deal with Mary. Of course, I need to talk with Chris and Blake. One way and another, there’s a hell of a lot of talking to be done all round.
I tell him that sorting things out with his family will also buy us some time to figure out what we want and he nods.
We kiss again, wrinkling our noses and bemoaning the lack of even a single toothbrush between us. We agree that we are both hungry, though at least Sean did manage to get breakfast yesterday and we check out of the hotel and head for a little café I know.
I don’t need to be in the university until around noon today, but I am a little surprised that Sean isn’t more worried about being late to his law practice.
Over breakfast, I mention this and Sean says that the thought of losing Lucy and then what has happened between us has kind of changed his view of things. He’s about to rearrange his priorities. He’s going home and call his secretary to tell her he’ll be late and to rearrange his appointments. Then he’ll talk to Mary and apologise for his inconsiderate behaviour, but he will take a firm line with her and tell her he feels the relationship just isn’t working out.
He expects that Lucy will be at school, so he’ll try and talk with her this evening.
I smile and ask him when he plans to fit talking to me into his schedule. Sean grins back and nudges my knee under the table.
“I’m sure I can fit you in somewhere.”
We separate and I wish him luck. As I make my way home I wince a little at the unaccustomed stiffness in my limbs and a slight discomfort I haven’t experienced in a long time. I decide that maybe I won’t be taking my bike into the university today.
I let myself into the kitchen and Bella leaps up to greet me, wagging her tail enthusiastically. Chris turns round from the kitchen sink and my reception from her is less enthusiastic.
“So I gather that you and Sean got drunk together yesterday. Paul told me about your childish behaviour. You left me fielding Mary and consoling Lucy, while you two hung out together. You even stayed out all night. Thanks a lot!”
“Come on, Chris. You sent me out to stop Sean coming here. He wanted to fight me. I suggested a civilized drink to talk things over. He didn’t want to go home and I went to a hotel with him. Had to make sure he was okay.”
She pulls up a chair and fixes me with a steely glare.
“Hmm. Paul told me you two seemed very friendly in the pub. He couldn’t believe you had only met the night before. And why did you need to crash at the hotel with him?”
Suddenly, I see the light come on in her head. She could always read me real well.
“My God, I don’t believe you! You had a one night stand with Lucy’s father. Well, didn’t you?”
I feel full of righteous indignation, given the situation with Paul.
“Please don’t take the moral high ground here, Chris. We both know you’ve been fucking Paul for months and that he’s not the first by any means. I admit that I slept with Sean last night, but it wasn’t a one night stand. At least, I hope it wasn’t. I’d like it to be much more.”
“What about the kids? How do you think they are gonna take this? If you screw up Blake’s relationship with Lucy, I’ll never forgive you. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I guess I was thinking that my marriage was over, that my wife was in love with another guy and was about to leave me and that maybe it was time for me to take something I wanted for a change - something I didn’t even realize I needed until I met Sean.”
Chris stands up and begins to pace.
“Okay, okay, I guess you have a point and we should have talked, but Sean, Viggo! He didn’t seem your type. Conventional, formal, buttoned up, trying to play the Victorian father and married to that scrawny, pretentious bitch. I know you have charm, God knows, I have succumbed to it, but you must really have done a number on him!”
“I’m surprised at you, Chris, just looking at the outside, that’s not like you. There’s more to Sean than meets the eye. His marriage is over too, for all practical purposes. He’s gone now to talk to Mary.”
She sits down again and takes my hand.
“Viggo, I care for you very much and I want you to be happy with somebody. You are not happy with me any more, I have someone else and it’s time to move on. We need to tell Blake together. I’m just not sure that this thing with Sean is a good idea for any of us.”
“Okay, we’ll talk to Blake later. Let’s not mention me and Sean yet. Things are complicated enough. Deal?”
“Deal! “
Sean
Viggo’s right and I don’t want to end this before it’s begun either. What he suggests sounds sensible, and at least we can start sorting things out. I do realize I would normally already be in the office at this time a day, but first things first.
We are both starving and in desperate need of a toothbrush, as we find out when we kiss. We go out to a café Viggo knows, and over breakfast we talk about our plans. Viggo seems a bit surprised that I am not worried about my work, but I can’t really fret over that at the moment.
I guess I will need to go home first and make a phone call to Janet, my secretary, to postpone my meetings. Then I will have a talk with Mary. Work can wait, will have to wait, and besides, I can hardly go there in jeans can I?
We go our separate ways then, and I feel like I am preparing to fight the dragon - Mary, that is. On the other hand, I do owe her an apology. I have misbehaved by leaving her on her own. She must have been worried sick, because I know very well she does love Lucy. But there’s no way around it, this marriage is over. It hasn’t been a marriage in fact for many years. I just hope Mary will agree with that.
The moment I step inside the house she’s almost on top of me. Even though her voice sounds rather hysterical, her hair and make up are perfect as always. She fires questions on me, and I feel a slight headache coming on.
The moment she stops to breathe, I put out my hand on her shoulder.
“Look Mary, I truly am sorry. I know I was wrong to leave like I did, and I shouldn’t have. I need to call the office right now to tell Janet I won’t be in till this afternoon. Why don’t you make some coffee in the meantime, so we can talk?”
She still looks furious, but she gives me a small nod and heads off to the kitchen while I make my phone call.
We sit in the big kitchen and I sip my coffee. The sunlight is making bright sparkles over the polished wood on the floor. It’s warm in here, and I feel suddenly exhausted. Mary taps her feet impatiently, her eyes cool and appraising.
“So did you sleep at Chris’ place,” she asks, as if that’s what’s bothering her most.
“No Mary, I slept in a hotel. I’d had a bit too much to drink when I called you and said that. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have run out and left you without a word.”
“I’ve tried to call you perhaps a hundred times and I kept getting your voice mail. If you were really sorry you would have answered me at least.”
“I threw it in the waste bin,” I say and raise my hand when she wants to respond to that. `I know it’s silly, but that’s what I did. I am sorry I behaved like a child. We need to talk about our marriage though, Mary. I think we both know it’s over.”
She folds her arms as to brace herself, and her voice is shrill now.
“Just like that? Do I have anything to say in it? After all the things I’ve done for you. Who is she Sean? “
“There’s no `she` Mary. It’s just that we live in this mausoleum together, share a bed, but we are practically strangers. I don’t love you anymore, and I don’t think you love me either.”
"And you thought of all this last night?”
“No Mary, I’ve thought about it for years, it’s just that I’ve finally made up my mind. “
Something in my face must tell her I am determined, and now her voice cracks.
`What will happen to me, and how about Lucy? How about all our friends, what will they say? You can’t do this to me! “
I choose my words carefully, feeling really sorry for her.
“I’ll talk to Lucy tonight, and will try to explain to her. Don’t worry, I’ll take the blame. As for you, I will take care of you. I’ll find a place to live as soon as possible and then we will have to see what needs to be done with this place. “
“I want to keep this house and everything in it Sean. If you want a divorce it will cost you. Don’t think you can just dump me! “
I sigh, my headache getting worse by the minute.
“Mary, let’s try to be reasonable. As I said, I will take care of you, and I understand you’re upset. But don’t threaten me, because that will get you nowhere. Don’t forget I am the one bringing in the money. You’ve never worked a day in your life. Think about it, and we’ll talk about this when I come home. “
With that I stand up and head upstairs, take another shower, brush my teeth and put on my black suit. The man I look at in the mirror still looks the same as always.
But he’s not. And only now do I allow myself to think about Viggo again.
Viggo
I shower and change and spend some time in my studio, thinking and drawing in my sketchbook, before heading to the university.
Chris knocks at the door after an hour or so and comes in with two mugs of coffee. We sit on the floor together, sipping our coffee and strangely, now we’ve talked about our marriage being over, we seem closer again. We don’t talk, just sit and sip.
When I leave the house, she kisses me goodbye on my cheek and am glad that we are going to stay friends and be civilized about all of this. I will find myself somewhere small to live and leave her and Blake in the house, which is rented anyway. Our home in LA is let to a friend for the duration of my contract here. I wonder whether Paul will move in and what Blake will feel about that.
I also wonder how Sean is getting on with talking to Mary. I doubt if she will be as laid back as Chris. She certainly won’t want to lose her status and her suburban villa. Sean may find he has a fight on his hands. I figure she’ll be ferocious in her defence of those things, which are clearly all important to her.
Sean should have been important to her. Stupid woman for not appreciating what she had. It hurts me to think of him living for years in that cold, loveless relationship. I am missing him already.
I get home reasonably early and find Blake and Lucy sitting at the kitchen table. There is no sign of Chris. Greeting them and Bella, I pull up a chair.
“Lucy, did you call your mom yet? She must be worried.”
Lucy blushes and hangs her head and Blake glares at me, taking hold of Lucy’s hand.
“Mom called her, so she knows Lucy is okay. She needs some space, dad.”
“Okay, okay, but Lucy had the fight with her dad, not her mom, right? I just think that Mary may be glad to hear from her.”
Lucy looks up and smiles. She is a beautiful girl and I can see much more of Sean in her than Mary.
“You’re right, of course. I am being a coward and I should call her. I’ve even had my mobile phone switched off. I’ll go up to my room and do it right now.”
She kisses Blake and runs upstairs.
“Sorry, son, I don’t mean to butt in, but I think that your mom would want to hear from you in the same circumstances. In any case, I figure that Mary may need some support right now.”
“You mean that Sean is finally going to leave her?”
I look up at him, surprised.
“Come on, dad, Lucy isn’t stupid. She knows her parents have had a sham of a marriage for years. She loves them both, but she’s much closer to her dad and she’s been so sad about how unhappy he’s become. Her mom’s not exactly happy either, although she is so wrapped up in stuff that doesn’t matter. She uses material shit to cover her lack of warmth or affection. We both agreed it would be better if he just grasped the nettle and did something about it. Why should three people be miserable?”
“Well, that’s very wise and adult of you both.”
“It’s not just Lucy’s family, dad. We’ve also discussed you and mom. We know about Paul and it’s not like you are happy with things as they are. When are you two gonna to face up to it?”
“You know, you suck at relationship counselling? Your solution seems to be that everybody should split up!”
“So it’s wise and adult, when we’re talking about Sean and Mary, but not when we’re talking about you and mom?”
I sigh and shake my head.
“No, you are right. Mom and I have talked and we were going to talk to you together. It is time for us to move on, but Blake, you are still the most important thing in our lives.”
He smiles and his mother looks at me from his eyes.
“It’s okay, dad, I know. You’ll still be my dad and she’ll still be my mom. In any case, I’m not a kid any more. I’ll be leaving home to go to uni at the end of the summer and you’ll both have to cut the cord with me anyway. I just hope that you’ll find somebody like she has and I have. I don’t want to have to worry about you being alone.”
Lucy comes running down the stairs looking worried.
“I need to go home and see mum, Blake. She’s in a state. Dad stayed out all night and he’s told her he’s going to leave her. She is convinced he has another woman, but that’s crap of course.”
Bake stands up to go with her and Bella jumps up in a frenzy of barking, expecting a walk, but I grab her collar and calm her. I don’t think Mary will appreciate dog on her pristine carpets, but I’ll get her leash and take her out.
As we open the door, we all freeze, as Sean is standing there dressed in his business suit, poised to ring the bell.
“Lucy……..” he begins hesitantly, but she throws herself into his arms and bursts into tears.
“Blake, let’s take Bella in the park for an hour and leave them to talk.”
He nods and as we slip out, I meet Sean’s eyes over Lucy’s head and see that they are filled with tears.
TBC
Part 4/7
Viggo
I wake up to a restless Sean and as I slowly swim to the surface of consciousness, he groans audibly.
When I manage to find my voice enough to ask him if he is okay, he admits he is not. Well I’m not surprised that he is panicking in the aftermath of the pretty hot sex we shared earlier, so I hold him tight and do my best to soothe him. He’s right that we need to talk, but I want to postpone that for as long as possible, for fear of what he will say.
We kiss and I slide down his body and swallow his cock to distract him, telling him that I will blow away his worries.
I am out of practice, but I still manage to make him buck and squirm, gripping onto the bed and making delicious noises.
I use everything in my repertoire to bring him to a shuddering orgasm and ignore his warnings, swallowing all he can give me and gentling his softening cock with my tongue, before I release him and slide back up to face him. He is lying with his eyes closed, trying to get his breathing back under control and the worry furrow has gone from his brow.
Kissing him on his forehead and working down to his mouth again, I reflect that this is only a temporary fix. In the past, Chris always used to accuse me of using sex to avoid addressing issues between us.
“You may be good, but you can’t just fuck everything okay,” she would say.
”There comes a time, when you finally have to talk.”
Maybe if we had talked more, it wouldn’t have come to this, but being with Sean has brought a lot of stuff to the surface for me and maybe it’s time to change course. There’s no denying that there are plenty of obstacles, though and I think they may bother the more conventional Sean more than they bother me.
This close to him, I notice that he has really delicate ears for a man and I nibble on the nearest lobe. He opens his eyes and smiles at me,
“So a least we know that it is like riding a bike, then. Fucking you was like freewheeling down a steep hill, with your hands and feet off the pedals and handle bars. Scary as hell, but exhilarating as hell too!”
“I always had you figured for a show-off! Did you really say ‘exhilarating’ when you were ten? ”
Sean hits me with a pillow and we wrestle a little until he gets hard again. He shakes his head as he looks down at his cock.
“He’s getting more of a work out in a few hours than he’s had in years. Must think it’s his birthday!”
“Well as we used all the body lotion and have only shower gel left, if you’d like to join me in the shower, I think we will be able to convince him he’s right.”
I am almost trampled in the rush and we end up squeezed tightly into the small shower stall, me pressed up against the tiling. Sean kisses me senseless, then lifts my hips and I wrap my legs around him. He curses colourfully and says he forgot the condom.
It would be great to tell him to go ahead and to hell with it, but Chris and I were still having sex up until a few weeks ago and like I said, Paul was not her first lover. I never asked her if she practised safe sex with her boyfriends -seemed bad manners somehow - so I can’t guarantee that we’ll be okay.
Reluctantly, I put my legs down and let him go get prepared. He arrives back through the shower curtain, preceded by his jutting cock, sheathed in blue latex.
“Eat your heart out, Janet Leigh, I say. Psycho was never like this!”
“I do intend to impale you, though,” and I gasp as he grabs my hips again and makes good on his promise.
We are squashed so closely together, that neither of us can get a hand between us to attend to my throbbing cock, but it turns out that I don’t need any further stimulation and in a very short time, we both shoot our loads again.
We dry off and crawl back to bed, falling asleep again almost immediately and the next time I wake, it is light and Sean is sitting on the edge of the bed, half dressed.
I sit up and kiss his shoulder, rubbing my hand up his back. It worries me that he doesn’t turn and face me.
“You know, once we get back in practise, we’ll be able to last longer. Next time we’ll try for the full three minutes.”
He doesn’t answer for a long time, then when he does, he speaks so softly that I strain to hear him.
“Well, that’s the thing, Viggo. I don’t think there should be, don’t think there can be a next time.”
Sean
I must say he’s absolutely convincing and he does make me forget my worries. Within minutes am clenching the sheets between my fingers to prevent me from grabbing his head and just shoving in deep, like I want. The few times I allowed myself to think about the early days, I remembered it being good, but not this good.
He’s doing the most wonderful things with his tongue, reducing me to a begging, whimpering mass, and I don’t even fucking care. I do try to warn him when I feel I am close to coming, But he just holds me firmly, and sucks and swallows deliberately around my cock, until orgasm ripples through me and hits me hard.
I lie back with my eyes still closed, panting, but feeling more alive than I have done in more than 25 years. He comes back up and kisses me, and then he teases my earlobe. I like the feeling and I open my eyes and smile at him.
Immediately we are back to joking, and I realize that apart from the amazing and hot sex, we also have a lot of fun together. Perhaps that is what I’ve missed most in my marriage.
Mary and I don’t have that same sense of humour. I know she thinks I am strange and blames it on my background. Mary only laughs – in a very delicate way of course – when we go to a play, or sometimes after a party, mocking her closest girlfriends for the clothes they wear.
Here with Viggo, I can be myself again, and we even have a pillow fight, Wrestling for fun amazingly gives me another hard on, and I want him again. It’s as if I am back being a horny teenager again.
Unfortunately we’re out of anything we could use for lube, but Viggo is resourceful, and we wind up pressed together in the shower stall. Of course I have to step out and get the condom I forgot, and again we’re laughing together, making inappropriate Psycho comments.
It does occur to me that maybe, just maybe, I should have him let me fuck me this time. It’s something I never allowed anyone to do, but I trust him, even though we’ve only just found each other. ´Maybe next time,´ I think while I fuck him into the wall, biting my completion into the arch of his neck. Again it was so good it didn’t last long.
We rub each other dry, and then we’re back to bed, both exhausted enough to fall asleep immediately.
This time when I awake, it’s clearly daytime, and I entangle myself carefully from a still sleeping Viggo. Again I feel panic rising up. As good as it was – and it was, I am not going to deny that – I still have my daughter to think of.
There are a lot of issues we’ll have to address too, and I must be a father in the first place, must put her needs before mine.
I sit on the foot of the bed and slowly start dressing, intending to just leave, making it easier for both of us, but I can’t. I never get any further than putting on my jeans and socks and I just sit there, feeling sorry for myself.
Finally Viggo wakes up, running a hand over my still naked back and then kissing me. I don’t turn round to face him, because I know I will give in, again, like I did last night.
When he refers to a next time I say it, although I almost choke on it,
”I don’t think there should be, don’t think there can be a next time.”
His hand falls off my back, but he scoots closer on the bed. His voice is soft, but clearly audible.
“Are you sorry about what happened last night Sean? Is that what you are saying? “
This time I do turn around and look him full in the face.
“No Viggo, I am not, it was great, and special and… but I have Lucy to think off, and you have your son. I couldn’t bear losing Lucy, you’ve got to understand that.“
His face softens, and he smiles at me. “I do understand Sean, and as open minded as Blake is, I still think he will have some trouble coping with this too. But then again, we don’t have to tell them immediately, do we? “
I lean back at him, and just the support of his solid frame makes me feel better already. He wraps an arm around me, and then kisses the back of my head.
“I think you should first talk to Lucy about her leaving home Sean. Tell her you have been overreacting. Tell her about you and Mary not fitting together any more. Just be careful to not blame Mary, it will drive Lucy away from you. And then perhaps she’ll be willing to go home with you. Of course you’ll then have to talk to Mary. “
He grabs my shoulder, turning me to face him.
”And maybe that’ll buy us some time to decide on where we are going Sean. Can you live with that? “
Viggo
My stomach turns over, when Sean says he doesn’t think we can go on and the queasy feeling reminds me that I didn’t eat at all yesterday.
I feel reassured by the fact that he doesn’t actually regret what we did, but he is worried about his daughter and wants to put her first. I hold him again and suggest a way forward right now.
He needs to talk to Lucy and level with her about him and her mum and then deal with Mary. Of course, I need to talk with Chris and Blake. One way and another, there’s a hell of a lot of talking to be done all round.
I tell him that sorting things out with his family will also buy us some time to figure out what we want and he nods.
We kiss again, wrinkling our noses and bemoaning the lack of even a single toothbrush between us. We agree that we are both hungry, though at least Sean did manage to get breakfast yesterday and we check out of the hotel and head for a little café I know.
I don’t need to be in the university until around noon today, but I am a little surprised that Sean isn’t more worried about being late to his law practice.
Over breakfast, I mention this and Sean says that the thought of losing Lucy and then what has happened between us has kind of changed his view of things. He’s about to rearrange his priorities. He’s going home and call his secretary to tell her he’ll be late and to rearrange his appointments. Then he’ll talk to Mary and apologise for his inconsiderate behaviour, but he will take a firm line with her and tell her he feels the relationship just isn’t working out.
He expects that Lucy will be at school, so he’ll try and talk with her this evening.
I smile and ask him when he plans to fit talking to me into his schedule. Sean grins back and nudges my knee under the table.
“I’m sure I can fit you in somewhere.”
We separate and I wish him luck. As I make my way home I wince a little at the unaccustomed stiffness in my limbs and a slight discomfort I haven’t experienced in a long time. I decide that maybe I won’t be taking my bike into the university today.
I let myself into the kitchen and Bella leaps up to greet me, wagging her tail enthusiastically. Chris turns round from the kitchen sink and my reception from her is less enthusiastic.
“So I gather that you and Sean got drunk together yesterday. Paul told me about your childish behaviour. You left me fielding Mary and consoling Lucy, while you two hung out together. You even stayed out all night. Thanks a lot!”
“Come on, Chris. You sent me out to stop Sean coming here. He wanted to fight me. I suggested a civilized drink to talk things over. He didn’t want to go home and I went to a hotel with him. Had to make sure he was okay.”
She pulls up a chair and fixes me with a steely glare.
“Hmm. Paul told me you two seemed very friendly in the pub. He couldn’t believe you had only met the night before. And why did you need to crash at the hotel with him?”
Suddenly, I see the light come on in her head. She could always read me real well.
“My God, I don’t believe you! You had a one night stand with Lucy’s father. Well, didn’t you?”
I feel full of righteous indignation, given the situation with Paul.
“Please don’t take the moral high ground here, Chris. We both know you’ve been fucking Paul for months and that he’s not the first by any means. I admit that I slept with Sean last night, but it wasn’t a one night stand. At least, I hope it wasn’t. I’d like it to be much more.”
“What about the kids? How do you think they are gonna take this? If you screw up Blake’s relationship with Lucy, I’ll never forgive you. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I guess I was thinking that my marriage was over, that my wife was in love with another guy and was about to leave me and that maybe it was time for me to take something I wanted for a change - something I didn’t even realize I needed until I met Sean.”
Chris stands up and begins to pace.
“Okay, okay, I guess you have a point and we should have talked, but Sean, Viggo! He didn’t seem your type. Conventional, formal, buttoned up, trying to play the Victorian father and married to that scrawny, pretentious bitch. I know you have charm, God knows, I have succumbed to it, but you must really have done a number on him!”
“I’m surprised at you, Chris, just looking at the outside, that’s not like you. There’s more to Sean than meets the eye. His marriage is over too, for all practical purposes. He’s gone now to talk to Mary.”
She sits down again and takes my hand.
“Viggo, I care for you very much and I want you to be happy with somebody. You are not happy with me any more, I have someone else and it’s time to move on. We need to tell Blake together. I’m just not sure that this thing with Sean is a good idea for any of us.”
“Okay, we’ll talk to Blake later. Let’s not mention me and Sean yet. Things are complicated enough. Deal?”
“Deal! “
Sean
Viggo’s right and I don’t want to end this before it’s begun either. What he suggests sounds sensible, and at least we can start sorting things out. I do realize I would normally already be in the office at this time a day, but first things first.
We are both starving and in desperate need of a toothbrush, as we find out when we kiss. We go out to a café Viggo knows, and over breakfast we talk about our plans. Viggo seems a bit surprised that I am not worried about my work, but I can’t really fret over that at the moment.
I guess I will need to go home first and make a phone call to Janet, my secretary, to postpone my meetings. Then I will have a talk with Mary. Work can wait, will have to wait, and besides, I can hardly go there in jeans can I?
We go our separate ways then, and I feel like I am preparing to fight the dragon - Mary, that is. On the other hand, I do owe her an apology. I have misbehaved by leaving her on her own. She must have been worried sick, because I know very well she does love Lucy. But there’s no way around it, this marriage is over. It hasn’t been a marriage in fact for many years. I just hope Mary will agree with that.
The moment I step inside the house she’s almost on top of me. Even though her voice sounds rather hysterical, her hair and make up are perfect as always. She fires questions on me, and I feel a slight headache coming on.
The moment she stops to breathe, I put out my hand on her shoulder.
“Look Mary, I truly am sorry. I know I was wrong to leave like I did, and I shouldn’t have. I need to call the office right now to tell Janet I won’t be in till this afternoon. Why don’t you make some coffee in the meantime, so we can talk?”
She still looks furious, but she gives me a small nod and heads off to the kitchen while I make my phone call.
We sit in the big kitchen and I sip my coffee. The sunlight is making bright sparkles over the polished wood on the floor. It’s warm in here, and I feel suddenly exhausted. Mary taps her feet impatiently, her eyes cool and appraising.
“So did you sleep at Chris’ place,” she asks, as if that’s what’s bothering her most.
“No Mary, I slept in a hotel. I’d had a bit too much to drink when I called you and said that. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have run out and left you without a word.”
“I’ve tried to call you perhaps a hundred times and I kept getting your voice mail. If you were really sorry you would have answered me at least.”
“I threw it in the waste bin,” I say and raise my hand when she wants to respond to that. `I know it’s silly, but that’s what I did. I am sorry I behaved like a child. We need to talk about our marriage though, Mary. I think we both know it’s over.”
She folds her arms as to brace herself, and her voice is shrill now.
“Just like that? Do I have anything to say in it? After all the things I’ve done for you. Who is she Sean? “
“There’s no `she` Mary. It’s just that we live in this mausoleum together, share a bed, but we are practically strangers. I don’t love you anymore, and I don’t think you love me either.”
"And you thought of all this last night?”
“No Mary, I’ve thought about it for years, it’s just that I’ve finally made up my mind. “
Something in my face must tell her I am determined, and now her voice cracks.
`What will happen to me, and how about Lucy? How about all our friends, what will they say? You can’t do this to me! “
I choose my words carefully, feeling really sorry for her.
“I’ll talk to Lucy tonight, and will try to explain to her. Don’t worry, I’ll take the blame. As for you, I will take care of you. I’ll find a place to live as soon as possible and then we will have to see what needs to be done with this place. “
“I want to keep this house and everything in it Sean. If you want a divorce it will cost you. Don’t think you can just dump me! “
I sigh, my headache getting worse by the minute.
“Mary, let’s try to be reasonable. As I said, I will take care of you, and I understand you’re upset. But don’t threaten me, because that will get you nowhere. Don’t forget I am the one bringing in the money. You’ve never worked a day in your life. Think about it, and we’ll talk about this when I come home. “
With that I stand up and head upstairs, take another shower, brush my teeth and put on my black suit. The man I look at in the mirror still looks the same as always.
But he’s not. And only now do I allow myself to think about Viggo again.
Viggo
I shower and change and spend some time in my studio, thinking and drawing in my sketchbook, before heading to the university.
Chris knocks at the door after an hour or so and comes in with two mugs of coffee. We sit on the floor together, sipping our coffee and strangely, now we’ve talked about our marriage being over, we seem closer again. We don’t talk, just sit and sip.
When I leave the house, she kisses me goodbye on my cheek and am glad that we are going to stay friends and be civilized about all of this. I will find myself somewhere small to live and leave her and Blake in the house, which is rented anyway. Our home in LA is let to a friend for the duration of my contract here. I wonder whether Paul will move in and what Blake will feel about that.
I also wonder how Sean is getting on with talking to Mary. I doubt if she will be as laid back as Chris. She certainly won’t want to lose her status and her suburban villa. Sean may find he has a fight on his hands. I figure she’ll be ferocious in her defence of those things, which are clearly all important to her.
Sean should have been important to her. Stupid woman for not appreciating what she had. It hurts me to think of him living for years in that cold, loveless relationship. I am missing him already.
I get home reasonably early and find Blake and Lucy sitting at the kitchen table. There is no sign of Chris. Greeting them and Bella, I pull up a chair.
“Lucy, did you call your mom yet? She must be worried.”
Lucy blushes and hangs her head and Blake glares at me, taking hold of Lucy’s hand.
“Mom called her, so she knows Lucy is okay. She needs some space, dad.”
“Okay, okay, but Lucy had the fight with her dad, not her mom, right? I just think that Mary may be glad to hear from her.”
Lucy looks up and smiles. She is a beautiful girl and I can see much more of Sean in her than Mary.
“You’re right, of course. I am being a coward and I should call her. I’ve even had my mobile phone switched off. I’ll go up to my room and do it right now.”
She kisses Blake and runs upstairs.
“Sorry, son, I don’t mean to butt in, but I think that your mom would want to hear from you in the same circumstances. In any case, I figure that Mary may need some support right now.”
“You mean that Sean is finally going to leave her?”
I look up at him, surprised.
“Come on, dad, Lucy isn’t stupid. She knows her parents have had a sham of a marriage for years. She loves them both, but she’s much closer to her dad and she’s been so sad about how unhappy he’s become. Her mom’s not exactly happy either, although she is so wrapped up in stuff that doesn’t matter. She uses material shit to cover her lack of warmth or affection. We both agreed it would be better if he just grasped the nettle and did something about it. Why should three people be miserable?”
“Well, that’s very wise and adult of you both.”
“It’s not just Lucy’s family, dad. We’ve also discussed you and mom. We know about Paul and it’s not like you are happy with things as they are. When are you two gonna to face up to it?”
“You know, you suck at relationship counselling? Your solution seems to be that everybody should split up!”
“So it’s wise and adult, when we’re talking about Sean and Mary, but not when we’re talking about you and mom?”
I sigh and shake my head.
“No, you are right. Mom and I have talked and we were going to talk to you together. It is time for us to move on, but Blake, you are still the most important thing in our lives.”
He smiles and his mother looks at me from his eyes.
“It’s okay, dad, I know. You’ll still be my dad and she’ll still be my mom. In any case, I’m not a kid any more. I’ll be leaving home to go to uni at the end of the summer and you’ll both have to cut the cord with me anyway. I just hope that you’ll find somebody like she has and I have. I don’t want to have to worry about you being alone.”
Lucy comes running down the stairs looking worried.
“I need to go home and see mum, Blake. She’s in a state. Dad stayed out all night and he’s told her he’s going to leave her. She is convinced he has another woman, but that’s crap of course.”
Bake stands up to go with her and Bella jumps up in a frenzy of barking, expecting a walk, but I grab her collar and calm her. I don’t think Mary will appreciate dog on her pristine carpets, but I’ll get her leash and take her out.
As we open the door, we all freeze, as Sean is standing there dressed in his business suit, poised to ring the bell.
“Lucy……..” he begins hesitantly, but she throws herself into his arms and bursts into tears.
“Blake, let’s take Bella in the park for an hour and leave them to talk.”
He nods and as we slip out, I meet Sean’s eyes over Lucy’s head and see that they are filled with tears.
TBC
no subject
Date: 2008-01-28 06:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 11:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-28 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 05:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 04:09 pm (UTC)He's not wrong! Oh dear, the tangled web - and it seems the children are more understanding than the adults.